Trying to get away from an abusive relationship?

[king]

It hurts me so much to even type and I can barely see the keyboard with my tears but I was with a guy for four years from when I was 16 till now, when I'm 20. He was my first love, but it just won't work. I'm not going to lie and say we had the best relationship and that I don't know why it was over, because me and him clearly knew that his priorities were changing and I wasn't one of his priorities. He told me I was a burden and wanted to focus on school work and enjoy time with his friends.I realized that his constant ways of making me feel like i wasn't worth his time or that I was stopping him from living his life was taking a toll on me and that there are better men out there. While he told me what I could and couldn't wear, deleted my facebook, tumblr, and any other form of social media and called me degrading names for walking through a door that a guy kindly opened for me, he was out living his life, drinking with his friends, talking to girls, etc. I couldn't deal with it anymore. He was my everything meanwhile I was just a piece of *** to him. He'd want me when he needed to be satisfied physically. This boy has broken my heart, torn it out and stepped on it. He used to lie about where he went and what he was doing, and controlled me. He would manipulate every argument in his favor and end up calling me a sl*t or a wh*re even for small things such as a guy holding the door open for me and I walked through it. He would tell me what to wear and didn't allow me to go out with my friends. Last year I caught him hanging out with his ex gf behind my back and I broke up with him, three months later he came begging for me back saying he'll promise he will change, Clearly it was a lie because I'm here broken hearted as ever.We've had on and offs so this isn't my first time dealing with breaking up with him, but I always knew we'd get back together. This time it feels real though, like neither of us have the energy to argue and put up with eachother like we used to. It hurt to know this. I feel broken, empty, helpless. All of My friends have moved away to go to college so I have no one to call my own. The college I go to is next to impossible to make friends in because no one is friendly. I'm so afraid of this heartbreak, I know I'll move on eventually but the process of it is killing me. The thought of him not even caring and being out partying right now while I'm sitting at home having no life and crying over him depresses me so much.I see my cousins, and the few friends that I have left and notice how happy they are with their relationships. Their boyfriends care about what they have to say, and have excellent communication where as I was afraid to say anything to my boyfriend for it would have started a fire. I was tired of living such a restrained life, so on tuesday we broke up. He told me I wanted to break up because I want other men's pen*s inside me. He relates everything back to sex. He doesn't understand that he didn't respect me as a person, or make me feel as if he was happy that I was in his life. I think about the lonesome days ahead of me and I don't know of I can do it. Please help me.

[Kabdon]

?

[life coach]

Trying and doing are two different things. You either do it or don't. Simple as that! Anyone can walk away from an abusive relationship, you just have to really do it. You have all the signs that he's not interested in you except for sex and he keeps coming back for that because you let him and then feel sorry for yourself and want others to feel sorry for you. Not going to happen if you are doing it to yourself and CAN help it. Just walk away! Good Luck

[WiseOne]

First of all, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You know your boyfriend is no good so throw him out like you would any other piece of trash. Do you cry when you throw out the garbage? I hope not. You don't need a man around all the time. You are not half a person when you're not in a relationship. Dump the loser and get your life in order and stop thinking about how you need to be with someone. Concentrate or school and/or work and get your priorities straight. A meaningful relationship can wait until you get the rest of your life in order.

[A]

Not good. You both are to blame.

Never expect a guy from 16-25 to act like a guy should act 28-35.

When he told you what he wanted AND you stayed, he lost a lot of respect for you AND began to believe he could treat your poorly.

People like he is, or others, look for easy marks. You have set yourself up as an easy mark BECAUSE you are not focused on yourself. Focus ALL of your energy on YOU.

1. exercise
2. join things
3. kick butt in school

And you will find that you will be happier and attract a better quality of guy.

Every single time you have any contact with him whatsoever IS a step backwards.

It's a diet AND every time you break it for a donut YOU have set yourself backwards. In this case you will set yourself backwards, months, weeks.

Have zero contact. He is extremely insecure. Any time a guy demands what you wear, RUN.


PUT all of your energy into yourself.

You KNOW those high quality guys that you dream about, WELL they are attracted to a college girls THAT have a life, are focused on them-self, and have their own passions. They are not attracted to a girl who would allow them to tell them what to wear.

You can do it.

Examine WHY you were attracted to such an insecure guy in the first place. HE WILL NOT change so do not give him a chance.

[l8tr g8tr]

Help you do what? Break up with him? It's like a band-aid...just rip it off - the hurt will fade.

[JL]

You are going to have to be strong. Clearly he will never understand that it's not about sex, but instead it's caring and respect. He can't give those things to anyone. Don't think of it as lonely days ahead, but instead it's a chance to strengthen your friends, and learn how to be independent.