Dating someone who uses meth..?

[Courtney]

I really need some good advice, but I pretty much already know the answer to all of this. It's .. complicated. I moved in with him in July, and before all this we were just friends. A series of events happened that led us to getting together. I knew of his previous drug use so I guess that makes me kind of stupid, but I never knew it was THIS bad. I literally just found out this weekend.
Originally, I thought he was just addicted to the lifestyle because he used to rave, but I'd notice that he'd make Facebook statuses saying "Work work work so I can party party party!" and other shit. It really wouldn't impress me, because let's face it, I'm 23. I'm past the point of party party party and want to move on to "make something of my life." Anyway, I found out about a month in that he was injecting K, Ketamine in full. He would suddenly change into this different person, and drastically. He has psychosis from previous drug use, and that always scares me. I found that when he came home, he'd look extremely skinny and that would scare me. This past Saturday, he ditched me on our anniversary to go do meth. How he did it I don't know, and I don't want to know. He always says he wont do it when he goes to his friends house, but they use too, and I know his mentality being his best friend has told me a lot about it. When he was withdrawaling from it, he was breaking out into tiny white bumps, so when he left, I google searched withdrawal from Ketamine. It didn't show anything about bumps. I got rushed to the hospital for a major panic attack from the last time he left about two weeks ago before this passed weekend, and they accidentally blabbed about him overdosing on meth. I decided to google search withdrawal from meth, and surely enough, I found speed bumps and other horrifying things. I asked him if he did meth, and he said yes. He's always lying to me and doing this behind my back. I find it's a once a month thing, but this month he did it 3 times. It's getting worse and I don't know how much I can take.

I am someone who cannot get stressed out much more than I already am because if I do, I could suffer greatly. I have Complete Heart Block and a pacemaker, and I have my own problems. It's difficult.. because I love him so much, and when he doesn't do drugs he's a TOTALLY different person. He's not aggressive even on drugs, but when his personality changes it breaks my heart. I'm so scared for him, but I can't change him. I don't really know what to do. I know a small part of him wants to change, but he keeps going against his words, and thus, I can no longer trust him. I've heard stories about people being on meth being unfaithful as far as sex goes, but I really don't think he'd cheat. We're together pretty much all the time, live together with his family, go to school together, etc. But then again, what the hell do I know. If he could lie to me about something this serious then who knows what else he's doing. His lifelong goal seems to be opening a club called Toxic Playground, which in my opinion, sounds like a rave. He keeps saying he wont do drugs during this time, or that he wont get back into them, but I see red flags everywhere.
I need advice.. no matter what kind. I don't want to have to move out again, and I have a lot riding on where I live at the moment so it's not so easy. For example, I'm finishing school and getting braces, something I can't just "transfer" somewhere else. It's gotten to the point where we have broken up, yet he still comes into my room and sleeps in my bed. I screwed up once and slept with him because I really do love him, and now that attachment just wont go away. I know I have to isolate him the same way he does me when he acts like this, but it kills me because he's so sweet normally. &I'm always afraid if I'm not there for him, he'll find it elsewhere.
I'm going to London for about a week to see my family and figure my life out from there. I'm really unsure of what to really do anymore. I adore his family and I like living with them, but if he doesn't get help I seem to have no choice but to move yet again. Please help..

[victorioustiger951]

Your guy obviously need professional help, but I don`t suppose he is will to do anything about it.

He is gradually destroying his mentality, as well as his body.

You`d be better off without him really, but if you love him and if he is never agressive, I know it would be hard to leave.
But for your own sanity, I think you should. He sounds beyond help, to me, and you`re gonna end up saddled with a very stressful problem - for years maybe.

[Nudist Dad]

I have experience with that drug and I can tell you its very addicting. You can ask or demand that its either the drug or you, but if he's hooked then he won't choose you. My advice is to break up and move on because your just going to suffer a lot of heartache down the road and your also running the risk of getting addicted to it yourself at some point. And you sure don't need the stress either.

Feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to about this. You can contact me on my profile.

[Orla C]

I got to the part 'I love him so much', and I stopped reading.

You are co-dependent. This means that you NEED TO BE NEEDED. Somehow in your mind, this has become the same thing as love. Addicts find people you like to be their partners, and leech off you, and call it love. You wrote 'I'm always afraid if I'm not there for him, he'll find it elsewhere' - and you are absolutely right. For an addict, co-dependents are interchangeable.

You need to walk away from this. Forget him, get help for yourself, so you don't get involved with an addict again. He doesn't have to be your problem, you need to look out for YOU.

Talk it over with your family, and DON'T hide what's really going on. They would want the best for you. He's not part of that.

[Hannah]

Hey sweetheart, I am sorry to say this and everyone has properly said it to you already but you need to leave him. Hes mentally and physically bringing you down with him.
As you said you have problems yourself which you are trying to sort out you don't need him to stop you. Which is what he's doing.
Firstly he needs to take the first step and realise he has a drug problem and that's when he can sort himself out, And get help.
Because u love him so much why don't u tell him how u feel and before u go away to London for a week tell him if he doesn't get sorted u will leave. Tell him your going away to think and your scared for his safety.
Drugs are a terrible thing which ruins lives. And it's starting to ruin yours.
You need to think about your insanity here. You don't need this in your life.
I am sorry about what's happening and I understand how it's so hard for you to leave him and to figure out what to do. But the best thing to do right now is go away to your parents and see what they say. They will properly say the same thing as me or anyone else on here because they don't want to see you unhappy.
I hope this helps a little. If not, go talk to your family they always know best.
Best wishes to you huni. Hopefully things will be better soon xx