Can someone look over my personal statement for uni?

[C]

Personal statement
I have chosen to apply for a place to study journalism for a number of reasons. I have always had an interest in the media and how it works- current affairs, scandals and politics all interested me from a young age. I watched the news avidly and read my mother’s newspapers from the age of ten and knew more about politics and current affairs than most of my peers. Being aware of the current issues in society is so important, and making a start to changing things can and often begins with the Press. Exposing corruption and illuminating issues, such as the Jimmy Saville scandal, is the press at its best. I have been intrigued by the Leveson enquiry and how the Press can become reprehensible. With my love for the written word, I feel journalism fulfils my passion to communicate my opinions creatively to the outside world. I have a hunger for journalism of all types, frequently reading The Big Issue, The Daily Mail, the Metro and any blogs or publications I can access.
An inspiration for pursuing a journalism career is my aunt Samantha, who is an economic journalist and has written for the likes of the Financial Times and the Guardian. She advised me on the best way to pursue my career, on practises in the business and has offered to give me work experience in January. She was one of the first in my family to go to university, and talking with her has just confirmed my interest in journalism.
At my secondary girls’ school, at which I gained an all-rounder scholarship for art and music, I saw my interest in journalism begin. Whilst completing my GCSE’s, I wrote an article about young girls in our society being pressured to grow up too quickly by influences in the media, and gained top marks. My friend and I later pushed for a school Art magazine to be circulated, documenting works of many of the students. For my articles I visited art galleries and fairs, and conducted interviews. Since leaving, I am proud that the student-run magazine has gained a circulation of around 300 students and teachers.
At college I studied combined English Literature and Language. English was an obvious choice for ‘A’ level, but I also study Late Modern History and Psychology. History has given me a greater grasp of politics, government, and how the press plays a part within historical events. My Extended Project Qualification is titled “How instrumental has the use of social media such as Twitter and Facebook been in fuelling the Arab Spring?” I chose to do my project on something journalism based; and on an issue very much part of current affairs. Choosing this subject has given me a greater understanding of how the press and media work in conjunction with the government and how traditional avenues of communicating news are being expanded and revolutionised through technology and social media. It has also opened my eyes to the power that the press and media hold; enough power in some cases to overthrow dictatorial regimes. I was so interested in this topic I also wrote an article for my college magazine Forward titled “The world without Facebook”, detailing how social media sites such as Facebook have changed our daily lives, and methods of journalism. I feel more enthusiastic than ever before and look forward to pursuing my studies in Journalism. I feel confident that this course will illuminate to me my preferred facet of journalism and teach me what it means to be a successful journalist.

This is my FIRST draft. Please copy and paste with corrections cheers!
1) I don't see any spelling or punctuation errors jumping out, perhaps you could high-light some.
2) Some of my courses are NCTJ accredited, others aren't; I need back-up offers. Would it not be biased to include that in my statement? Am i supposed to write an individual statement for each individual course?
3) I wont be able to organise any work experience until after christmas, but I need to send off my UCAS before the beginning of December preferably.
4) I am not sure which type of journalism I want to pursue. I just don't know enough about all the options yet to make that sort of decision.

[eve]

Try to think about the key skills a good journalist would have (time management, communication skills, problem solving) and give examples of how you have shown these. For instance in communication skills this goes much further than writing an article. You mentioned you gave interviews for an art magazine, I think you should expand on this and how it developed your listening skills and interview technique. Really you should mention other hobbies too because it is very journalism-heavy. So remember to talk about sports teams and other courses you have completed. If you have a part time job put that in too. And when you say you will be doing work experience you need to include details of what it will involve.

[tanitha]

Well I'm a journalism admissions tutor. So I can tell you that:
a) it starts very well
b) and then I throw it in the reject pile without reading the rest of it!
Spelling/punctuation errors are the most serious errors you can make on a journalism course (assuming it's a proper, NCTJ-accredited course?) - you can't get above a scrape pass mark in practical modules with such mistakes (and more than one, or one serious one is a fail).
So - you need to fix that
You also need to not use gratuitous capitalisation - only for proper nouns please
My main concern is that it doesn't say that you have done or are applying for any appropriate work experience - a 'must' for any vocational journalism course

Finally, I note that you don't mention two key things I would expect to hear about. One is nothing about the NCTJ. If you are not applying for NCTJ courses be aware that the course will be of no help in getting a job and may even hinder you in the future.
The other is that you say nothing about what sort of journalist you expect/want to be and exactly how you expect the course to help you get there (eg that you realise you are unemployable without at least 100wpm shorthand and so are delighted the course offers this)


EDIT: You make the most common error of all (about 80% of our applications are rejected for this) GCSE's.
Point taken re back-up offers, but I'm sure that if you get your application off quickly you stand a reasonable chance of getting on an NCTJ course (assuming your grades are ok). This might be one of those occasions when you need to make a decision - journalism courses are one of the few where the personal statement really is very important
Re work exp - you don;t need to say you've done it - but being in the process of organising it will be a massive plus (some reject for no mention of this - we may reject on that ground)
Re 4) you are really interested in everything from celebrity gossip to financial journalism; beauty to sport? It's fine (good even) to show willingness to be influenced; not so good to have no idea at all

[Mite]

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[Jony]

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[some random guy]

Sounds really good, especially for a first draft.

Just make sure it doesn't go over the line or character limit (47 lines or 4000 characters). The only thing I would add is more of your hobbies or other things you do outside of school and writing.

Oh and you don't write individual statements for each course/university - just the one. So don't mention any names of universities and don't mention anything about NCTJ accredited courses if you are also applying to non-accredited courses.

And personally I think its fine to not know what type of journalism you want to pursue. You show in your statement that you are interested in many forms of journalism and are therefore open-minded.