It's been 10 months, why can't I get over him?

[K]

We met June 2011. It was amazing and different. We just clicked so good and we both felt it. We never made it official though. Anyways, September came and it was my birthday. He got really upset that I didn't spend it with him but with my friends instead; so he didn't talk to me for weeks. Then we started talking again, like nothing ever happened. But soon enough Oct came and he started an argument with me over something so stupid and we didn't talk until Christmas time! But all this time I still wasn't going all the way with us, as in, not making it official.

So now it's December almost Jan and it's back to normal. He's calling me babe, we're talking all the time, he's saying he wants to see me & blah blah blah.
Feb came and I was going out of state to Boston for a photo shoot & I was going to ask him to come with me and all of a sudden he tells me he just wants "his friend back" and I said "I don't think I can be just your friend" and he basically ignored that. But we did exchange some "names" to one another.


So not even a week goes by and he's back with his ex! He told me their relationship was "so bad" they constantly fought, she was really uptight, etc. So, I was so confused.
I still have him on Facebook and he posts pictures with her. It hurts me really bad. It's gotten better because it's been months but he's still all I think about before I go to bed& I don't know why when I know he's not thinking about me at all. Advice?

[Dustile]

so you guys broke up cause you didn't spend YOUR birthday with HIM?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZgDvuq2mKo

[Sharon S]

He is playing the ends against the middle , you are the middle. Move on and find someone who will treat you better. You are wasting your time with him. You are just being there is more then should happen. move on.

[Kennedi]

Communicate with him & see where y'all stand & make your decisions from there.. Personally, i think y'all had something before, but now it's time to get over it.. You're sprung over a guy who has moved on with his life & obviously want to just be friends. But that's just what I personally believe..

[gentletable827]

Stay away from Facebook for awhile, and focus on self for a change. Rebuild a life that works for you. Keep busy, with more positive things. Be creative. Believe in self, and dare to dream. Expand your thinking, and concentrate on your career. Healing takes time, be patient, it will happen. Hope that helps thanks for asking.

[Shay J]

I think even though you convinced yourself in your mind that you weren't going to let it get serious in your heart you thought it was a serious relationship. Sometimes we already know the answers to our own questions we just have to be honest with ourselves. Maybe you didn't want to feel that way about him because he played games with you and it didn't seem serious but what sucks is it's always heart over mind. The mind never wins even when we thinks it does. Even when we say out loud what our mind wants and not our heart the mind never wins. I think he left you with a lot of questions one would be: Why did you have to play with me like that? It hurts when someone plays with your feelings when you were trying not to develop any real feelings at all at the moment but some people don't know how to be in a relationship. Why can't you get over him? In due time you will and it may be when another man comes along but everything takes times especially when you spent time wrapping your feelings into something, making it personal.

[Kim W]

I once was dumb like you. Head banging because of a man is something a young woman does. I actually would torture myself because of a dumb young man who didn't have anything but selfish bones in his body. lol someday you will laugh at this and wonder what woman has to put up with this cold, unfeeling, uncuddling, insensitive, humorless, guy that pleased you only when it benefited him. Thank God I found a better guy than this. Yes this man has his charms in a way but go out and date others that put alot more into a relationship and be happier honey. learn.

[Scottish]

He sounds exactly like my ex and I'm not over him either. Men like to know they have "one on the hook". Just in case other things fall through. I'm going to therapy for my 6 year and the loss of a child relationship with that type of guy and now he is chasing after this drug using loser and is acting like he is the happiest guy in the world with her. But it will obviously not last. We are good women that just need to believe we deserve the world. Can they give us the world? HAve they? No.. Think about it. We hold on to what we are hoping will happen not whats actually happening.

[Margot]

Why do you still have him as a FB friend? It makes it more difficult to move on and get over him when his photos and status updates periodically show up on your page when you log on to FB. You don't need to constantly see photos of him mugging with his new squeeze.

Personally, I would just block him from FB. It makes life much easier.