Should I tell someone how I feel?

[Sasha]

So I am extremely depressed at the moment, I live with an abusive mother who beat me as a child amongst many, many other things which have gone wrong in my life during the past few years, I can't trust anyone in my family except my grandmother, and I feel so much biterness and hate from the rest of them. I'm suicidal and have been for a while. Pretty much everyday the thought of it runs through my mind. It's not that I actually really want to die, it's just I feel like I can't go on living, everything is just too hard and too difficult and too painful. I'm 19 years old. I have been self harming for the past few years too. I never talk about it with anyone. My mum is a very cruel and manipulative person, let's just leave it at that.
Should I speak to my grandmother about how I feel. I feel like no one cares though, like no one can empathize and everyone thinks 'tough love' is the way to go, which only makes me feel worse and doesn't work on me at all. I'm extremely sensitive at the moment and the tiniest of things really get to me. I hate how people are so unsympathetic towards depression and they act like you've decided to be depressed and as though you can switch it off if you wanted but it's impossible.
Would speaking about it to my grandmother help?? I don't know what to do anymore as I've really run out of options. I feel deserted and abandoned. Like everyone is turning their back on me because I'm depressed. Everyone loves you when you're happy and everything is going well for you, when you're healthy and you look your best and stuff, but once things start going down hill for you they desert you faster than a flash. I feel like talking about my feeling might be seen as weakness to her. Most of my family are very un-understanding people, and very unempathetic towards others, especially when it comes to mental ilness. My gran isn't like that, but still. I just feel like truely, no one cares on the face on the earth. I feel trapped in my life and my situation, like there's no way out. I feel mentally and emotionally manipulated by my mum, and I feel helpless.

[Tee]

Yes talk to your grandmother and maybe a minister if you have one. Counseling would help too.

[Pish and Fiddle]

Yes! Talk to SOMEONE - an adult you trust. It could be your grandmother, a teacher, a counselor, a doctor or nurse, or a law enforcement officer. If one doesn't help you, keep trying until you find someone who will.

If you're considering suicide, PLEASE call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S.

UK: 08457 90 90 90
ROI: 1850 60 90 90
Australia: 13 11 14

Save and print out what you wrote above, and show it to a person you trust - do it as many times as you must, and sooner or later, you'll find SOMEONE who will help. The fact that you are capable of reaching out despite your pain means you have something worth saving; don't let ANYBODY stop you from that.

Good luck!

[krystal]

I just wanted to let you know, no matter how hard life is at the moment, it will get better. I'm turning 16 in a few weeks, I've been through a lot, I've considered and attempted suicide, been to a psych ward for suicidal thoughts, and I've cut myself, but I've gotten through all of that. If it seems like it can't get any worse, look on the bright side: that means it has to get better. I was sexually abused by my step brother when I was 4, and my mother would only give me chicken skin to eat. Now I'm living with my dad and I haven't seen her since I was 9. I've been bullied non-stop since 4th grade due to hormonal imbalances that cause me to have abnormal amounts of body hair. At the moment I am seeing specialists for that, inflammations in my brain, and liver problems due to being overweight. My dad isn't that nice, but not many people in the world today are nice. That's why it's important for people like you and I who have been through so much to stay alive, because we realize how much pain words can cause, and only we can prevent it from happening to other people. I really hope I was able to get this message to you before you did anything to harm yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, I will give you the links to my Google+ and Facebook. I will ALWAYS be there for my friends or anyone else who needs me.

https://plus.google.com/u/0/111993721352363980102

http://www.facebook.com/krystal.faulk

Or my e-mail: skadoodlegames@gmail.com