I'm suffering from depression, need somebody to talk to?

[Alex]

I'm 20 male, currently in college. My depression started last year in January when the girl i loved said she didn't wanted to be with me. It was still new and very rarely i felt it but then i met another girl and we were together for a few weeks and then she broke up with me but we remained friends but then in a few months she started blowing me off at Facebook and she said that she's letting go of her phone so "don't text me anymore" (don't know if that was true). The thing is that i really fell for this second girl and it seems that she was just playing me around. After i disconnected from her I spent most of my time in bed watching TV Shows, it was fun and all but it didn't make me any better. Also at the same time all my friends just mysteriously decided that they no longer wanna be my friends. I've also had time making friends since my best friend stopped being friends with me when we began our freshmen year in high school.

It got worse in the beginning of this year and around April i tried to commit suicide. I started blowing off my classes. and i barely passed my exams and flunked in one. I told my mom but she didn't give much thought to it finally i had convince her to take me to a psychologist. We were already having so much money problems and then after my third visit i didn't tell her anything when she didn't say anything about going to the psychologist. Then a miracle happened and I started getting better and i started volunteering at this institution it last for 2-3 months and then the program ended. I joined yet another activity soon after in fall that lasted almost 2 months but then that was it. I was so afraid of relapsing but it seemed that i was okay until recently that i started having mood swings again and now for a few days I've been depressed as hell, and an hour ago I was considering suicide and thinking of taking drugs.

Also I live in Pakistan, I can't call hotlines or go to churches or join clubs here, most stuff is restricted to poor people and the conditions of the city is not safe to go out. Damn movie theater costs half the money i make from tutoring, not to mention the fare to get there.

The students in my class don't want anything to do with me, they just like to **** around and tease and mess with people, i don't like that stuff.

I need somebody to talk to, i have nobody, no friends, no siblings, no class mates that i can talk to, i need somebody online to help me.

[™ʎllıq®®]

It's no good talking to people on the internet, you need to be strong and know that young people can be cruel.
Passing exams means nothing, and you will soon learn that the world it's self is evil.
All the major faiths tell us this. In Hinduism they call is Maya - The Malevolent illusion, In Christianity they call it Satan.
We are not to become the world and live by it's sin, but rise above it.

Knowledge acquired through the intellect is priceless.

The importance of knowledge is one of the main messages of the Qur’an. In fact, the first verses revealed to the Prophet Muhammad were:

“Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists), He has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood) Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous, Who has taught (the writing) by the pen. He has taught man that which he knew not. (Qur’an 96: 1-4)

These first verses refer to the human ability to write–record knowledge–and speak to how it is a gift from God because it allowed human beings to excel beyond other creatures. This knowledge carries with it responsibility. Human beings are repeatedly instructed to use their intellect in order to comprehend the Divine Will. http://insideislam.wisc.edu/2011/09/on-t...knowledge/

[Teresa Mase]

Dude I couldnt ready all of that.. I just got dumped out of a 3year relationship I know how it is...girls are made to break hearts and all you need to do is buy some new clothes and get some dam confidence ..girls love itj and it seems like you have no problem getting them but you cant hold on to them..just switch whatever you where doing before and play it cool DONT be all over them all the time like texting fbmsgs and all that bull ..anyways good luck bro I hopfully helped you..

[Silas John]

In order for anyone to help you, you must learn to help yourself.

I might be reaching when I say this, but it sounds like you need some truth.

A Q&A site isn't the place for this type of support. So many sites are dedicated to lonely and depressed people to reach out to each other. You're on FB. There are groups for just this sort of thing. You got your heart broken by a woman. That's a GOOD thing. It's the scars we have left over that let us know we lived.

Here, hit me up on FB. "facebook.com/Silas.John.Writes" I use some offensive humor and blah blah blah, but it doesn't sound like you can afford to be choosey.

I keep an open ear to all of my friends, but don't blow up my inbox, and don't be surprised if I advocate suicide. Truth is, I think the world is too overpopulated for anyone that doesn't want to be here. If you wanted to die. You'd be dead, but you aren't. So something has you "keeping on".

Personally, I think that sounds like something that is salvageable, but we'll see. Feel free to comment on what ever tickles your fancy. Shoot me a message and tell me about your ex. I'm game. Let's see where this adventure takes us.

[Grace]

Going on line to talk may be dangerous. Never know who you are really talking to. Also, this isn't a contact site.

Suicidal thoughts mean that you need treatment. I don't understand why hotlines or churches are not an option for you. Remember that suicide is not the answer. You may be going to something else. Also, depression is a symptom. You don't kill yourself over a symptom. Like cutting off a stopped-up nose when you have a cold.

Reread your letter here. You are depressed. One symptom of depression is that you knock down any suggestions people make about what might help before they even make any!

There are a lot of good books and videos out there. Look at amazon.com. You can pray and mediate at home for free also.

When you are depressed, you often make it worse by not getting proper sleep, proper diet, proper exercize. Do it. I know you will want to find reasons you can't, but you really can.

Also limit "screen Time" to a few hours a day, Certainly not over 3.

One thing that will really help is to see a career counselor and make a plan and a couple of back up plans for a career. Consider job market, your abilities, and your interests--in that order. Having a plan will give you purpose. Yes, I can hear you now thinking of reasons not to do this. That is your depression talking.

Avoid alcohol, drugs etc. Even too much coffee is bad for you.

Look at it this way. You have been through the worst. Everything from now on must be better,

And gently send away any negative thoughts. You can't stop the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your hair. And if they happen to crap in your hair while flying over, go wash!

Best to you! I will say a prayer for you.

Now you say one for me and yourself. Can't hurt.

[Paul B]

I used to have depressive spells that kept my in bed for weeks at a time. What's more, I have been perpetually lovesick over one person or another my whole life. Thoughts of suicide were never far away. I used drugs now and again, but we all know the road back to your feelings when you come down can be hellish.

Nothing worked to really change my situation. Therapy was helpful, but the feelings of worthlessness were so deep, talking about it could only take me so far. Having a sense of purpose was very helpful, but once those tasks were complete, I had to return to myself and the cycle of looking for validation outside myself. We both know that no one can really give us that. No form of spiritual practice or study did anything to alleviate my suffering. I tried so many.

Then I came across chanting. Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo. It was explained to me that by rhythmically chanting these words, I could change my own karma. I was also told that when one chants, a happiness begins to well up from within. An authentic, True Happiness that cannot be broken and does not rely on external circumstances. Try it as an experiment, my friend told me. The proof is in the pudding is in the eating.

I learned how to pronounce the phrase and began chanting it to a candle or at a fixed space on the wall. My friend said that I could chant for anything I wanted. Anything. I chanted for a few minutes a day, twice a day, mostly for someone I'd loved for years and whom I could not get out of my mind to be happy. I chanted for myself to be happy. I chanted to get this person out of my system and move on with my life. I chanted for this person to love me back. (The heart is fickle, so my goals kept shifting). In a very short time, the person I "loved" (more like infatuation) contacted me out of the blue. I couldn't believe it. Thus began an affair that allowed me to proceed with getting to know them without the crippling fear or people interfering with gossip. It was as if chanting not only fortified me with a budding confidence, but also neutralized anything in my environment that would hinder the process of discovering the realities of the person I loved as well as myself simultaneously.

The affair wasn't perfect. It was a slow process, but at least I had my foot in the door. There were times when I would not see the person for weeks, and I still had my depression to contend with. As time went on, and my chanting increased, I began to notice that the bouts of depression were getting considerably shorter.

I'm getting a bit long-winded here. I know you asked for someone to talk to, and not necessarily a one-sided conversation about a Buddhist chant. However, I just wanted you to know that if you are suffering, this chant will pull you out of it. It the real deal. You can create the extraordinary life you want because you already have the unlimited potential inside of you. It's called your Buddha Nature. Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo unlocks it. And when you start to become genuinely happy, you attract that same nature in other people/your environment. You and your environment are inseparable.

I married the object of my affection within 3 years of trying chanting. I am not saying the girl you are in love with is "the one", necessarily, or that chanting will win you her heart. I'm saying that you will become truly happy and wise and all else will follow.

Trevor