I'm suffering from depression, need somebody to talk to?

[Alex]

I'm 20 male, currently in college. My depression started last year in January when the girl i loved said she didn't wanted to be with me. It was still new and very rarely i felt it but then i met another girl and we were together for a few weeks and then she broke up with me but we remained friends but then in a few months she started blowing me off at Facebook and she said that she's letting go of her phone so "don't text me anymore" (don't know if that was true). The thing is that i really fell for this second girl and it seems that she was just playing me around. After i disconnected from her I spent most of my time in bed watching TV Shows, it was fun and all but it didn't make me any better. Also at the same time all my friends just mysteriously decided that they no longer wanna be my friends. I've also had time making friends since my best friend stopped being friends with me when we began our freshmen year in high school.

It got worse in the beginning of this year and around April i tried to commit suicide. I started blowing off my classes. and i barely passed my exams and flunked in one. I told my mom but she didn't give much thought to it finally i had convince her to take me to a psychologist. We were already having so much money problems and then after my third visit i didn't tell her anything when she didn't say anything about going to the psychologist. Then a miracle happened and I started getting better and i started volunteering at this institution it last for 2-3 months and then the program ended. I joined yet another activity soon after in fall that lasted almost 2 months but then that was it. I was so afraid of relapsing but it seemed that i was okay until recently that i started having mood swings again and now for a few days I've been depressed as hell, and an hour ago I was considering suicide and thinking of taking drugs.

Also I live in Pakistan, I can't call hotlines or go to churches or join clubs here, most stuff here is not allowed to poor people and the conditions of the city is not safe to go out. Damn movie theater costs half the money i make from tutoring, not to mention the transport fare to get there.

The students in my class don't want anything to do with me, they just like to **** around and tease and mess with people, i don't like that stuff.

I need somebody to talk to, i have nobody, no friends, no siblings, no class mates that i can talk to, i need somebody online to help me.

PS, i want somebody to talk to, if you can't do that, then don't give me false hope.

[i-Yoda]

I'm originally form Pakistan & live in the USA now.
Why do you want to spend time with people who don't want to be with you, move on ...you are better than putting yourself through all this drama. Everyone goes through relationship issues. The sooner you realize that it's not your fault the better you will feel.

[Kyleigh]

Please don't hurt yourself like that. You're story seriously made me cry. You will find someone who understands, and like you for yourself. Don't listen to everyone else, they aren't worth it. Costing your life is not the answer, it may not seem like it now, but so many people will miss you. Someone will come into your life and make it so much better, just please, don't kill yourself)':

[Grace]

I'm very sick and disabled and get very lonely. I really need friends too and I'm online all the time. Message me. My yahoo ID is amnesia.angel@rocketmail.com