He didn't call the morning after....dating advice?

[Delia]

Here's the thing: I met this guy at a bar...we were both quite drunk...we kissed and talked a bit and then i had to leave. After 2 days of searching him on facebook (i didn't even know his name!!!!) i sent him a message telling him that it'd be nice if we met, he wanted to meet me right away but since my parents were in town i couldn't. meanwhile we kept talking, texting, he always said: we'll speak tomorrow, made jokes, asked about me, told me about himself etc etc. I was also told that he was a player, and that his main goal was s.e.x (always!) and actually i was fine with that, he wasn't that much of a bf material and i didn't want sth too emotionally complicated and i made the mistake telling him that, telling him that the day we will meet there was going to be s.e.x and that i didn't want sth more and that i know what his intentions were. that day came and actually he behaved better than i'd ever imagined, we talked before and after doing it, cuddled, made me coffee, smoked a cigarette, once again asked about me and told more about himself and it all went quite good (at least in my opinion) and when i left his house he told me: we'll talk on whatsapp meaning that it didn't finish there but the next day the thing that i feared the most happened: no text, no call, no facebook, no whatsapp, nothing! the day after this i decide to write him and the text was sth like: would u like to go out for a coffee one of these days or does it all end with what happened a few days ago? just tell me yes or no and he replied: tell me when you're ready for a threesome!!!!! (actually he's been asking about it before) i was devastated so i told him: i've already said you that i wouldn't do it but thanks for the offer .anyway, it was literally a pleasure meeting u and maybe we'll see each other one day again. obviously i've never heard of him since and it has been 3 days. the point is that yes i like him now, more than just physically and i want sth more than just s.e.x. i probably did a mistake telling him that i didnt want a relationship while in fact i do now and offered myself in a golden plate and probably he thinks im some sort of s.l.u.t. what can i do in order to make up for that mistake? should i simply tell him how i feel and get over with it? what would u do if u were in my position?
p i'll go to this bar on friday where i hope to meet him "by chance"

[Trisha]

the guy just thought of you nothing more but than one night stand anyway. so he does not have the same feeling for you.

[Tyler]

Just try and get over it

[steph x]

man
up
move
on

Although I know a guy who had a one-night stand with a girl and he left in the morning, but forgot his wallet and phone. So she went on his facebook and posted a satus explaining what happened and giving his 2000 friends all his credit card numbers

[wayfaroutthere]

I don't think this is going to go where you want it to go, so you should move on. Since I'm pretty sure you won't take that advice, be fbuddies. Sometimes (don't count on it) you can change an fbuddy to a boyfriend, but most of the time you'll just break up. And don't worry that he thinks you're the s-word, he thinks that deep down all women are but that some are just afraid to admit it--he probably likes that you are honest enough to say you like sex, but you are right that he isn't thinking about much more than that at the moment. Right now he is trying to make sure that you do not become clingy and try to become his girlfriend next week--so he is communicating with you on his terms and not yours. If you want a quick reply, invite him and his girlfriend over for sex. If you don't want a threesome but don't mind waiting on him, stay in occasional contact and he'll call you sometime when he's horny. If that isn't enough for you, then it's over. This guy sounds like a lot more than your typical player--it sounds like he has the skills that only people with integrity can have, and you can't cheat an honest man.

I've never understood why women will say anything to get with a guy and then be upset that she led him on. I've heard it from almost every player I've ever met--tell the truth. If you want a girlfriend, tell her you want a girlfriend, if you want sex, tell her you want sex--then when she doesn't get what she wants out of the relationship, it isn't your fault. He told her what you two were doing--if she had some secret plan to marry him that didn't work out, maybe she should have been honest with the player and he would have left her alone and moved on to a woman who wants the same thing he does. But (in his mind at least, but it's probably really true) you wanted to have sex with him so badly you were (and still are) willing to have nothing but sex with him with no strings attached--and to him it feels like you two were just being honest about your animal instincts. If that isn't working for you, quit lying to try to catch him--it won't work and it will just hurt you more. The only way you are going to be his girlfriend is to screw him enough times that he changes his mind and finds he would like some real dates and real intimacy, and maybe eventually he would rather have only you and no one else--you can't make that happen, and if you try to get him to promise it, he won't (or he'll lie, but my guess is he won't--players like this don't make promises, they change the subject and try to make you feel pretty or smart.)

Well, now that I've told you how it really is, hope you see him on Friday. Have fun, and don't get yourself hurt. Be honest. If you can't with him, find someone you can be honest with--when you can say what you feel (or try to explain your mixed feelings if you don't really know what you feel), then you can start a real relationship. Picking a guy who wants one would be a smarter way to start. Oh, and one more thing--don't feel bad about anything you did, use it as a learning experience. Maybe you learned something about how attraction works, maybe you learned that it's more important to listen to a guy than it is to tell him what you think he wants to hear, and maybe you'll believe people when they say 'that guy is a player who just wants sex' and won't try to give your heart to someone who just wants your body and not your company. Lots of people have sex with someone just because they were sexy--guys aren't the only ones who think with the wrong head (though I'm not sure how you'd phrase that to fit a woman's anatomy.) If you regret it a bit, avoid it in the future. If you don't, have fun, but don't get your heart broken.