My boyfriend and I are both divorced. We have a baby together- Should we not even attemp marriage again?

[MS111213]

My boyfriend and I both divorced he has one (grown) child and I have two boys with my ex, and now we have a daughter together.
Since being divorced, should we just leave it at that and not give marriage with each other a shot? How long should we wait if we wanted to marry?
What would be the benefits?

[Kim]

Marriage is not for every one but dont let your past determine your future

[MCSHughes]

Benefits???? Seriously?????

No, don't get married now, for "benefits", you've already messed up again.

We don't shack up and play house first. We get married first. THEN we make babies. It's called making a home.

[LaTanya]

If you are asking this question what is the purpose of your relationship? Every relationship should have a purpose. Are you in this thing just to play house and to act married? Until you can know why you are in this current relationship I do not think you two are ready for marriage. I had a shot lived marriage by jumping into it before I knew who I was in Christ or before I knew how to love myself. Now you can't pay me to get into another relationship without certain questions being answered.

How does he feel about marriage?
Do you guys share common beliefs?
Is he ok with you just being the mother of his child and nothing more?
Does he love the Lord? I mean does he really love him, if he does he'd value marriage and want to move on from his past into a brighter future.
Do you guys talk negative about your past marriages? I hope not.

There are many wonderful benefits to marriage if the two of you are in a healthy place and are on the same page. If you are thinking about marriage to him just because you have a child together I can understand but this is not a reason to marry someone.

Whatever decision you make please don't make a quick one, pray and seek God about it and He will give you an answer. He made sex for marriage and many other wonderful things. So you have to decide first, what do you want. Once you decide what you want and that the father of your child will not be the one to give it to you or is able to give it to you. Then you make your choice, and know just because your marriage didn't work before does not mean that this one wont be great. After all you are not the same person you were back then.

Good Luck

[Good Life by Love]

it can go either way.

After 7 solid years of perfect marriage then another child if desired.

If things are minor I usually just wouldn't even give it a second thought. If it is major I just fix it the best way and that's it. Maybe this will be a good method for you guys. Always reinforce it with Love
I hope you can be stay at home wife ([no school]events with guys around unless your husband is there 100%) that takes care of all the woman things and he is taking care of all the man things like lifting, fixing working outside and handling all those jerks, and if you do work outside you know what I mean. I hope you can be a home wife so the marriage can be a loving one with peace. He wants a feminine wife not a worker guy. If you make double what he makes he should stay home.
*Talking is good. Find a private place to talk with time to talk. Never teach, just inform if necessary and in a meek manner. Handle the kids and teach them with few words and listen well, pay attention to details. If some parts kids can't be handled then inform the husband.
*Be a good wife and make sure all the cooking and cleaning is done. Stay Fit, Smell Good, Dress well. Make sure to make love when ever either of you want.
*Be meek. Quick to listen, slow to speak. Only tell him things when needed. Never teach him. If you do tell him something make sure it is kindly. Handle the kids, and if you notice you can't for sure then inform him in a kindly way.
*Hugs and kisses are always good any time, instead in front of the guys otherwise the guys might want some too. Make sure to let him know to keep the making love part private.
*Remember your NEVER a push over, you LOVE so you give BUT if your ever taken advantage fix it asap with a calm talk in a private place with time to talk while hugging and ending it with a kiss and maybe love.
*Make sure your spouse can handle things, like if he is not good with money maybe he should handle it. I mean like saving for a 6 month rainy day and then increase that as much as you can as time goes on. Buy a house cash small to start and then bigger when you decide and ready to have a child so the child can stay in one community for their whole school life and a place to come home always during Holidays and for you to plant your plants and watch them grow and to grow old in, make sure to pay cash or go smaller if needed or just wait on the child/bigger home, peace is most important. Retirement, Vacations.

Also I see counseling working.

On another note: Try your best. Love like you never love before. This is the best way for love to come and start surrounding your life. May love be around you, through you and is you.

Love and the Good Life will come
Email me if you have another further statements glhww@yahoo.com
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P.P.P.S. Majority of my answers are for the majority, there are many variables to consider always
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