I'm paranoid about my Girlfriend, not sure what to do!?

[Fanaticalcattle588]

Okay, so me and my Girlfriend have been together for 9 months or so. To be honest, i love her to pieces and would quite happily do anything for her: I tell her i love her all the time when she's going, when we're kissing: We see each other quite often, four or so times a week (Usually me getting up at 8.15 to see her from her bus)

But anyhow, a few months into our relationship, her xboyfriend commented on her facebook status claiming that he had "got with" her in the Summer, i confronter her regarding this and she told me nothing happened, he's jealous and lying to get back at her (She finished with him a few months prior to our relationship) Anyhow, this was about 3 months in, a few weeks ago she told me they "Lip-locked" and then she walked off and started crying as she felt she cheated on me: He denies this, laughed about it and claimed she did so much more.

Everything goes well for about 4 months more, we was at the hospital getting a morning after pill because the condom split during Sex: We had to wait for 3 hours or so, and then she got called in: the nurse wouldn't let me in with her so my Girlfriend gave me her phone, i was going through our texts we send between us and smiling Ignoring all other texts untill as i was scrolling down there was one saying "Love you " A bit nosey at this unknown number i discovered the conversation. Basically, he had been saying he loves her boobs, she responds saying "if you ask nicely", claiming she misses him loads, loves him lots and oh, love his cock. Completely mortified by this, sat with 10 people around me i couldn't do a thing: I felt so betrayed and heartbroken, my phone recently broke so i forwarded the texts to my best mate so she wouldn't deny it and play mind games, when she came out of the room i made sure she was okay and everything was fine, walking out the hospital her phone went off: ****, delivery notification, balls. She read what i sent and her face dropped, i told her i cant do this anymore and walked home: she followed. Ended up walking into my house and i cried for a few hours and she wouldn't leave. She claimed it was a mistake and will never happen again. (I found out this number is her X

A few weeks ago she was attending this party with her friends, an old 'secondary school group get together' All her friends have started to like me and tried to persuade her to invite me: she was resilient and wouldn't - Suspricious i asked her who is going, she claimed she only knew her friends were going, so i said okay that's fine and bought her some alcohol so she could have a good time - she claimed, I recieve a text at 6pm but apart from that, none until the next day about 4pm, a little worried i tried to hide it; i then found out from her friend that her X boyfriend was there and they wouldn't leave each other alone all night, her friends made sure nothing happened but they were to close and they all felt uncomfortable hating him, and likeing me. But when i spoke to my Girlfriend regarding this, she claimed i'm being paranoid and too jealous.

I don't know what to do anymore, I've lost near all trust in her. She manipulates the scenario to make it look like i'm being paranoid, jealous and over-exaggerating everything, I can't take this: I love her to pieces and i admit, i've become paranoid about it all: I'm not sure if it's justified or if i'm in the wrong, that's how i feel ;/

I told her i want to build our trust back but it's hard, she said she wants to try her hardest to do so too: But yesterday we was cuddling in my bed watching a movie and the X continued to text her, and she kept replying. Previous day to that we had a serious talk regarding that, in which i cried on her should and told her I want to trust her around him, but i feel a hatred when i hear his name, when i see them speaking, or his number on her phone, them speaking on MSN or whatever, i know this isn't right but i just feel so much angar directed at him

She asked me earlier if i'm okay about her going to his house with him and his friend instead of seeing me. I told her i have to build trust between us and the onyl way i can do that is by putting faith in her, I really don't want her to go but i know she will; and if i try to stop her then i'm being paranoid and jealous. I get upset thinking about her with him, as we attend different schools i get told by friends they hang out a lot

She's changed her password and won't tell me what it is (But i've cracked it) and there's silly emails from him like '****** xxxx' etc and it just makes me worry a lot

Please, someone help me :'(

[Dave C]

Face the fact... she's a cheater and not really into you. You pining for her is a waste of your time.

You don't have a relationship. what kind of relationship do you have where you have to "crack her password", worry about her cheating and distrust.

Her tears aren't because she's sad about you. She's sad because she got busted and she's realizing she's a 'ho. Girls like seeing themselves as "good", but the realization that they're not is quite confounding.

On thing you can do is to treat her like the person she is... don't date her and don't love her, but go to her for action. She's become a booty call and nothing more.

Be straight with her. Tell her that you're not interested in a relationship ever!, but you'd still have sex with her.

I suggest the alternative.
Break it off completely with her (no more calls, texts or seeing one another).

You will very relieved since you have no expectations from her. No more drama or anxiety. It will be a weight lifted off your back.

Also, you can date and look for someone you can trust.

Unless... you're they type that's into drama and rather have someone terrible than being independent.

[Jen.Jen]

That's really crap! You know what I know you say you love this girl but it seems obvious that she doesn't care all that much about you. She wants her cake and to eat it too. Don't let her. At first you may have been jealous and paranoid but when she started cheating on you, lying to you and hiding the kind of relations she was having with her ex obviously you're going to be paranoid when she's constantly texting him, messaging him on msn and spending loads of time with him.

If she cheated with him I think it would be fair to say she should cut all ties with him to PROVE to you she won't do anything again and how sorry she is for doing anything in the first place.

This girl is taking you for a ride. You're still in school right so you're not even that old, you've got your whole life ahead of you to find a good girl that wants to be with you and loves you just as much as you do her. Don't waste your life with some skanky whore who doesn't give two shits about you man.

Come on look out for yourself. Dump the cheating skank and move on it's clear you can't trust her any more and who would expect you to?

Btw that was long, next time try and post a shorter question, you'll get more answers that way

All the best,
Jen

[Jonn]

Drop her man.. and I'm dead serious. I know it's hard to let go, but dude, all of the vitals signs show that she's still interested in her ex. If she respected you, she would listen to you and stop doing things that bother you. Stop being there for her all the time. You don't need to go through all of this. There are SO many women in this world that sometimes, it's so foolish to go through all of this. You know, she's not going to change. Her actions speak for itself. Drop her and find yourself a girl that you can put your whole trust on.

[R & H]

Whoa! Thats some royally f***ed up s***

Dude, someone shouldn't treat you like that. Thats just f****** up on so many levels!

I would have drop kicked that slu* in her titty weeks ago, and whooped ol boy's ass.

Tell her that you're done, because you don't feel like dating a girl that can't let go. And don't give in to her tears.

You need to get out and fast! I can't believe you let it get THIS far.
No offense, but this must be your first love, i was in the same situation as you my friend!

I figured this was as good as it gets, but let me tell you, there is someone out there that will treat you better. You just have to get over that first hill (heartbreak), and it will get better from there.


Leave. Thats what you need to do, i got at least 200 people that will agree with me. Noone deserves to be treated like she treats you. F*** that mind-game playing Slu* that plays with your emotions for her gain and benefit. Thats so f***ed!

Best of luck to you.

[Joolieboolie]

She's a cheater. You should sleep with as many of her friends as you can. Take pictures and "accidentally" send them to her. hahaha. That would serve her right.

[Patrick]

Just leave man... that is bullshit.

[Cozy]

You love her very very much. And you show your love to her in every way you can think of. You are adorable for this and she is very lucky to have you as her boyfriend!
I hate to tell you this but I must. She's no good for you.

If she truly loved you, she would be with you right now. She would invite you to escort her anywhere she was invited. She wouldn't leave you out of anything. Well, maybe every once in a while to go for coffee with her friends, for a little girls' talk...

Text-ing her ex-boyfriend all the time? Hanging out with him all the time? Why?
If she was in love with you she wouldn't say to the guy more than just a "hello". Going to his house? What for? To have tea with his mother? She isn't over him. She has feelings for him and she shows them to him every time they meet, every time they text each other....

What about you? What does she show to you? When was the last time she said she loved you and actually mean it?
You can't trust her any more. You have seen the messages. They aren't exchanged between friends, but between lovers. Ex-lovers? I'm not so sure about that.

In a relationship, you expect to receive as much love as you give. In this relationship, she receives the love from you and gives it to her x. She doesn't appreciate you at all.

This is not fair to you. You should find some other girl that appreciate you for what you are and give you all the love that you deserve.
Breaking up with someone you love is a very tough thing to do. I know, I've been there myself. You can't go on with this relationship anymore though. Look at yourself: you're not happy, you're always angry and sad. You don't need this in your life. You deserve a whole lot more.
Good luck!

[Kelly]

You sound like you've done all you really can to let her know that you trust her and you forgive her an that its really hurting you when shes doing this with her X. And maybe she's taking advantage of this by thinking that you'll always forgive her so she has nothing to worry about. If you still cant find yourself able to breakup with her because you love her too much, try to let her know that your not going to put up with her shit and if shes going to be a slut then you will walk away and be happier without her. But two wrongs dont make a right, thats key.

[Heidi]

Please get rid of her, or she needs to change her ways. If she loved you, she would stop with the habits of replying to her Ex, seeing how its taking a huge effect on you. l know you love her, but you're going to end up being taken for granted if she remains doing it. Being Jealous and paranoid is normal for some in a relationship, even worse when something has happened in a relationship too. She needs to change her ways for the sake of you, her, and the relationship. If she doesn't do that, please get rid of her. Just shows she doesn't want to help the relationship. You should find some other women that will appreciate you. =]