How do I avoid settling for less?

[Hira]

I feel bad for my brother bc he settle for less n he doesn't have any respect for his wife. how do I avoid doing that in dating? There was a study that chemical in the brain makes us blind for 1 or 2 years. My friend is divorcing her husband bc after 5 years they nothing in common n the "love" is gone.

[Dime]

I would like to first state that when looking at any research make sure the research is creditable. What is true is that people often gravitate toward people like themselves, more than people that are not like themselves. Now to get to your question.... It is best to actually get to know someone, many people claim to have so but sadly they have not. Learn this person's past life, present life, and future goals. When starting a new relationship no question is ever a dumb one. Learn their habits, goals, beliefs, etc. Many people go into a relationship thinking that they can and will change this person, if there is something that truly bothers you about this person you have found interest in address it before you guys get serious. Tell this person of your goals example: I want to have kids, I want to live blah blah, I prefer blah blah. Two people being together is work on both parties, and you both have to relate/want the same things in life or at least be able to meet somewhere in the middle. Marriage is about coming together not settling for something else because you want to make someone else happy. I find the best thing to do is be yourself when you guys first meet and ten years after you guys have first met. This way there will be no surprises, many people pretend to be this perfect person make up this life they have not lived and get married. Later they start to actually be themselves and this is when the statement comes in "I don't even know you anymore." well that is because that person was not being truly themselves. Your part is to be yourself that is all, if that person does not like it do not try to change there will be many things that you will have to meet in the middle about when you are married the school your kids go to, the house you guys live in, the paint on the walls (giggles)..... But never ever meet in the middle for who you are. That is my advice I hope I helped.

[DaNewGuy]

As much as i agree with a lot of what Dime has said, that chit only work on paper. In really life you just hope the one u get is gonna make you happy. you may not get a 100% of what you are looking for in her, but but you just hope you get most of the good things u look for in a woman and few of the bad ones. If you ever find 100% of what you are looking for in her, then u just hit the lottery, and all i will ask for is for you to hook me up with her sister.

[Good Life by Love]

get a paper and pen and write down what is your soul mate. Then don't settle for less.


Recommended to take it slow, take time to get to know the person. Try to keep things clean, less baggage. Let 7 years of perfect relationship before marriage (if you want you can always be engaged and married after that 7 years has passed). After 7 solid years of perfect marriage then a child if desired.

If things are minor I usually just wouldn't even give it a second thought. If it is major I just fix it the best way and that's it. Maybe this will be a good method for you guys. Always reinforce it with Love

Either way for later as a wife if you decide make sure to take care of him always in the love making area. I hope you can be stay at home wife ([no school]events with guys around unless your husband is there 100%) that takes care of all the woman things and he is taking care of all the man things like lifting, fixing working outside and handling all those jerks, and if you do work outside you know what I mean. I hope you can be a home wife so the marriage can be a loving one with peace. He wants a feminine wife not a worker guy

Always talking is good. Find a private place to talk with time to talk. Never teach, just inform if necessary and in a meek manner. Handle the kids and teach them with few words and listen well, pay attention to details. If some parts kids can't be handled then inform the husband.

Be a good wife and make sure all the cooking and cleaning is done. Stay Fit, Smell Good, Dress well. Make sure to make love when ever either of you want.

Be meek. Quick to listen, slow to speak. Only tell him things when needed. Never teach him. If you do tell him something make sure it is kindly. Handle the kids, and if you notice you can't for sure then inform him in a kindly way.

Hugs and kisses are always good any time, instead in front of the guys otherwise the guys might want some too. Make sure to let him know to keep the making love part private.

On another note you seem to be a very nice person, so I like to add that what ever person you want a serious relationship with, take your time (years) and really really really see if this is the person you will spend your whole life with. If you can even better never get married and just enjoy your life with nothing serious, make sure the other party knows your intentions. I also like to add though, in marriage it is a different kinda love, a very valuable kinda love. Always do whats best for everyone like what you did when you asked this question,

Try your best. Love like you never love before. This is the best way for love to come and start surrounding your life. May love be around you, through you and is you.

Love and the Good Life will come

P.S. Email me if you have another further statements glhww@yahoo.com
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P.P.P.S. Majority of my answers are for the majority, there are many variables to consider always
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