What is the most awkward/weirdest/most humorous text message you can think of to send to a stranger?

[Salad]

Nothing too dirty or death threats. It's going to a somewhat-famous guy on the internet who bravely posts his cell phone number on twitter asking for people to text him. Thanks!

[avictor]

Can you please bring me a fresh pair of choonies?
Shell station bathroom 5th and main. Baby wipes too pls...

[BigBrotherUpdate]

Hey I just found a dead squirrel (named Rimpy) Can you take it from me for a few days while I adventure to Costa Rica to find the great known treasure, "Haloopa" that means your mom in Orangatanese.

[Pedan]

HAHHAHHH THIS IS PERFECT SAY ALL MAN... BOB DIED LAST NIGHT DO U WANNA COME TO HIS FUNERAL BOB IIKED MONEY SO BRING LOTS OF MONEY TEHN TEXT AGAIN THIS ISNT A KOKE BOB WAS SPECIAL!! AHHAH PPLZ EMAIL ME BAK WHAT HE SAYS!!

[oshea]

i received a strange message the other week from an unknown number saying "think he has just rang me and hung up when i answered! also i found out that he wasn't with her on saturday night!"
this was a few days after i received a voicemail from the same number saying something along the lines of "hi john, i'm at the hotel and he hasn't turned up yet, he's an hour late so not sure if he got the message! just wanted to let you know what was happening speak to you later!"
i replied to the text asking who it was and i have never had a response!

[Tatiana]

hey come over im ready for you to help me with my problem no ones home I'll be waiting for you. did it one time in a slumber party hilarious...