What causes someone to be superficial in all their relationships?

[Vita Dolce]

My friend is a great person. She is extremely giving, to the point it's a determent to herself, and she gets taken advantage of a lot by people because of it.

However, she admits that in relationships she is superficial, even that she doesn't know "how" to love.

She says she had an abusive childhood, but also downplays it.

What would make a person so superficial? Does this mean she doesn't really care about people?

[Fancy]

Lil' Wayne wrote a song about this.

[Sarah]

No, actually its just the opposite. She loves them too much but is afraid of getting hurt so she has to wear the smile, and hide behind a wall of strength only letting people get just as close as she can handle. She may also be afraid of how others view her and its easier to be superficial and keep them at arms length than let them in fully and get hurt. I was in her shoes. She sounds like I was. Its possible to overcome it. But it takes YEARS of people who REALLY love her telling her how valued she is, how beautiful she is and how much she is worth! It took me two and a half years of intense love from people at my church and I was VERY skeptical! Not all places of worship show Jesus, and as far as I was concerned, (or had experianced) the church I was at probably wouldnt either... but they in fact DID and it saved my life! I tried to take my own life and failed... They loved me back into reality. REAL love. Show her that! Tell her as her friend that you are there for her and compliment her! Look for her strengths and encourage them! Show her how beautiful she is until she sees it for herself!

[Another Crone]

Wow. Way to leap to completely erroneous conclusions.

No. None of those things mean any of those other things.

[Good Life by Love]

it starts with the parents


I like to just add because maybe I got your attention:
Recommended to take it slow, take time to get to know the person. Try to keep things clean, less baggage. Let years of perfect relationship before marriage (if you want you can always be engaged and married after years has passed). You can always accept the marriage ring and just marry when you have a few years of solid peace and love engagement/relationship. Make sure only settle for your soul mate with peace and keep in mind there are many soul mates. Arguing is normal but is it good? no, so make sure it is 7 years no arguments. After 7 solid years of perfect marriage then a child if desired.

If things are minor I usually just wouldn't even give it a second thought. If it is major I just fix it the best way and that's it. Maybe this will be a good method for you guys. Always reinforce it with Love

Also I see premarital counseling working.Church usually has it for free. You can even attend after marriage. Make sure no medicines.


On another note: Try your best. Love like you never love before. This is the best way for love to come and start surrounding your life. May love be around you, through you and is you.

Love and the Good Life will come

P.S. Email me if you have another further statements glhww@yahoo.com
P.P.S. More & daily words of encouragements TWITTER my account is = @glhww
P.P.P.S. Majority of my answers are for the majority, there are many variables to consider always
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