Who wants to hear me gush about how awesome the Twilight convention was?

[aly_hargrove]

I cant even sleep tonight cause I'm so sad that I won't wake up tomorrow and meet someone from Twilight, like I have for the past THREE DAYS! SQUEEE!


Message me if you wanna chat
Ill give you my FB or Twitter YEAH!!! <3

[voicelesslumber913]

Boring, I'd rather watch Paint dry.

[markwillstar]

lets not and say we didnt.

lets hope that twilight dies like rainbow bright did in the 80's

or sesame street today

I am the Yahoo Answers founder of the Anti-Twilight society, and i even watched that crap (the first one)

girls should watch real movies not crap about vampires and girls hiting puberty.

[Ruby]

I honestly hope this is a joke.

[MrOctober]

Who wants to watch me kill this girl?

[Smile..xxx]

Tbh, i have had enough about vampires.
Everybody is like totally obsessed!!!
(No offence:L).

[dragon c]

twilight...


so now that we are fully and thorough engrossed in vampiremania, a select few can and will take a step back and analyze and comment on the fad that has us by the pocket book and by the genitals. that being said...i am such a person to make such a comment.


let us start with the concept of a modern vampire book or movie.

it must have one main character who is vampire, and one main character that is human or non-vampire.

it must have a futile romance between such characters.

it then can have an optional character that brings a sense of normality to the life of the human as an alternate love interest.

with these elements we have set up the plot. "how do we get our undying love to work in such a cruel world" with the occasional "oh maybe we should just give up and try to live normal lives"


basically a bit of Romeo and Juliet...(like we haven't seen that before)

ok, so we have a unoriginal story, in a less than thrilling setting, with a list of mediocre characters with no depth to them to speak of. told at a level composed for a fifth-grader, and marketed to 12 year old girls.

that doesn't sound so bad right? wrong.

what do we have now? we have twilight mom's as fans, cheering team Edward and team Jacob. lets stop right there. if little eddy and jake were hot 17 year old girls, it would be scrutinized to no end with parental riots and CNN and fox news coverage, if we had twilight dads cheering for hot 17 year old girls.

bottom line, we have said it is ok for women to be pedophile and it isn't for men...does that seem right to you?

then we have a bunch of 17 year old virgins that have know idea what sex is suppose to be like, thinking that you got to get bit and bruise and knocked around all the while breaking the fucking bed when you do it because the guy fucking you is some sort of monster that wants to rip your guts out and eat them while he is madly in love with you...and if it hurts, you will be fine because you will black out and not remember a fucking thing....ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!! now fucking date rape is cool!!! that is a great message to the young ladies.

then we need to look at the practicality of sex with a vampire...

in many and most vampire stories, we humans are regarded as food. most of the time we are regarded as nothing more than cattle...can you see where i am going.

WHY WOULD EDDY FUCK A COW?

we dress it up with metaphors of lions and lambs but it is still the same thing.

also consider the archetypes twilight has set for vampires, the are hard as stone, with venom in there bodies and diamond Christal skin that shines like marble in the sunlight...SO THEY ARE FUCKING STATUES?

SO WHAT THE FUCK DOES EDDY'S PENIS LOOK AND FEE LIKE? what the fuck comes out of it, venom sperm?

so these 17 year old virgins are not only going to think that date rape is the way to go, but they are going to expect it to feel like a stone dildo is going to be doing the working, with a fucking rock hard body attached...yeah i get that rock hard abs are cool and sexy, but try rubbing up against a stone wall and see how turned on you really get.

and what about the wolf man...he turns to a wolf when he gets all emotional right? have you ever seen the penis on a dog? is that something you want to have in you? is that what we are teaching the teen girls? wolf dick, that lipstick shit that comes out when they are in heat. girls are getting wet about this? take a look at the pic. that is what you want.

IF YOU ARE TEAM JACOB, TAKE A LOOK AT THE FUCKING PICTURE. ok, the picture is of an erect K9 penis, i took it off as to not offend ppl. if you want to see it message me.

and don't tell me that girls are not going to be stupid enough to think this shit, because if wee look back on history, you will find that people are really stupid EX: back in the 50's we all thought if you used a tampon, you would lose your virginity. or that it is impossible to get pregnant your first time.

we have seen the damage world of war craft has on people.grown men and women running around dressed as fucking elves and shit in the real world thinking they can fucking lightning bolt the foe at burger king for looking at them funny. talk to any sociologist, this shit is going to fuck with the teens of society.

now i know that many twilight fans are going to say i am just jealous and i am missing the point. i concede that these actors are in good shape, and i would probably give my left nut to have their body...but you can go to google and search "hot shirtless guy" and find 100 pages of images of guys hotter then them. so what is with the idol worship shit.

do we not remember Cedric Diggory (R. pats character in harry potter) and Shark Boy (wolf boys character in stupid kid film)


NO, dont kill Cedric!!!!


i know that the attention span of the average reader is like 200 words max. (very sad) so i am going to stop and make a part II later.


just s

[teeny-tinykitten626]

I'll pass.