How do I forgive myself?

[JL]

So there are these people that I left because... well... I didn't think I needed them anymore. One was boring, one had a bad attitude, one completely irritated me, and most importantly one never seemed to notice me anymore. Their negativities were all that I could feel from them. In every encounter, through every chat, I would always feel the bitterness of thinking of them as horrible people but not actually telling them what I found wrong about them. Bitterness slowly drifted me from them apart. But then I realized, these were all the people that I loved the most... I feel like they were real friends to me.
If only I wasn't so shy on telling them what problems I had with them, I wish I could come up to them confidently and express my truest feelings. This is all too wishful thinking, but it is what I really need. They all have facebook, twitter, live near me, and all I can do is stalk their pages but never have the courage to message them. I really miss them... I miss talking to them... I want to live my life to the fullest because with them they give me a reason to live. They give me the reason to continue expressing my sexuality, they give me the reason to pursue my studies, they give me the reason to show kindness to other people. This is all not happening to me. But I'm afraid that if I do message them back after 2-3 years of utter silence and grudge, I feel that things will take a turn for the worse.
I'm 18 and I feel compelled to take this as serious responsibility. If I want to be successful and not lose in life, I need to apologize to them. But I can't do it because I have no confidence. Please help

[Billy]

Sounds like you already know what you need to do. Asking others about it won't give you confidence. The only way to know what will happen is to just go for it. The longer you wait the harder it will be.