Why do I feel like a bad person? I can't but feel so depressed and want to disappear? Am I bad a person?

[noromyxO]

I'm not the types of people who would cause trouble and contradictions. I don't slag anybody off or talk down at them. There are some people that really piss me off though, but I often ignore those and stay calm. And if they are in my family, I just put up with it and learn to accept the way they are. I'm only friends with laid back and people who think. I never know what to say to people who are popular, etc. I don't like to gossip because it bores me. I'm usually really calm around people and even people who are annoying.
I volunteer at the hospital and also worked with a paramedic before. I also sell my artwork to raise money for charity, and mostly raising money for leukemia.

But anyway, for some reason I feel like a bad person. Mostly because I'm ignored by a lot of people, including my family. For some reason I seem different and eccentric in my family, mostly because I'm shy and nerdy and they are the opposite. They often make me feel like a retard just because I've got Aspergers and some other learning disorder. Everybody on Facebook and Twitter ignores me except for Artists and Doctors who I talk to a lot working in the hospital, (but they are double my age, I'm 20). My brother hates me because I ignore him when he tries to put me down. He ignores me in the street and pretends I'm not there. (It should be me that's hating him, but I don't at all).

Also whenever I go out across the shops or anywhere, there are always people standing outside giving me evil looks and watching me. And sometimes they will say something nasty. Everyone slags me off and ignored my invitation to my Art exhibition.

I can't help but feel depressed to be honest. I wanted this year to be awesome, buts its depressing already.
Sophia. Just because you don't understand my situation, does not mean you have to label me as a trouble maker. I'm not even a trouble maker! (I'm so shy that I won't even do that) I love my family and try to enjoy their time and I appreciate what they do. But for some reason, some relatives refuse to accept me, either that could be my fault or just their problem. I've tried and tried to have a conversation with them, but they just ignore me. And I even wasted my remaining phone credit to wish everyone a happy new year, only to find that they couldn't be bothered to reply and now deleted me off Facebook. They created trouble themselves by acting like that.

[Sophia]

Ok I'm not going to be all sweety pie on you just because you have a little problem you seem to be smart enough to understand that NOBODY LIKES TROUBLE MAKERS. It might get you props in high school for a bit but. If you were in my family I would ignore you too, trouble maker that doesn't even spend time with us. Get your act together and spend more time with your family because you never know how long you are going to have them.

[kareen]

I really can understand the pain of being depressed and when somebody tries to ignore.
Well dear, the best thing that you have mentioned in this question is that you want this year to be awesome and i wish the same for you.
In terms of your situation the important thing that need to be done is self analysis and after knowing the reason why it's happening to you will help you to formulate the action plan to solve your problem.
I am sure following links of few articles will help you in your situation to make it better and to lead a happy life.
Good Luck!

[Abi]

nah your not a bad person. perhaps you should take to your folks about the way you feel, they may not realise that they are ignoring you, or that its a big deal to you since it sounds like you come across as laid back.
as for helping with the feelin depressed: eat healthy, exercise, and sleep plenty! hang out with your friends or go make some new ones! have fun and good luck ^^

[flatdowntown562]

I don't believe you are a bad person. Unfortunately some people are so ignorant that they get annoyed with good people and often try to pick out their faults to outweigh the good points. It sounds like those people are actually envious of you because of the things you do and your achievements. I mean you have your own Art Exhibition, you raise money and volunteer. And there's nothing wrong with having Aspergers either, there are actually a lot of advantages with the disorder that many people are too ignorant and possibly stupid to realise.

If I was in your family, I wouldn't be ignoring you. I would actually be following you all the time. Generally because I'm not insecure with myself.

I disagree with Sophia, I can't see why you would be a trouble maker. She's just trying to make you feel awful because she feels awful about her life. Misery loves company.

[Taylor]

honestly i only read the first paragraph because i...nevermind but no you are not a bad person. I always feel that way to that for some reason I must be a terrible person. The one good advice my mother toldd me was if you truely were a bad person you would not be asking if you were or cared if you were. if I missed something by not reading the rest sorry but people are not perfect and we make mistakes. You can do bad thing sometime but that doesnt make you a bad person. Plus it only matters what you think of yourself no one else's opinions matter.

[Ali]

Hi. No, you are certainly not a bad person.

The philosophy you have of ignoring those who 'get to you' and remain calm, and for those in your family you accept the way they are - and you are usually calm around people even those who are annoying, is absolutely the right way. It's an acceptance that everyone is different, even good or bad. But although this is the way you think, in truth it isn't what you practice, because you do allow the way people are, to affect you to the point where you believe you are a bad person and that some people watch you and give you evil looks. Is it possible that this is a belief rather than fact, and that it's just possible it's how you are interpreting situations? This is not a criticism, but is quite common way to think if you are depressed.

You should consider being true to your philosophy and concentrate on what you are doing rather than others and continuing with the voluntary work and art. You really need to find a small group of friends of a similar age to you, who are primarily positive people - no time for being negative and gossip - but getting on with life, enjoying it and having fun. Even better if they share your interests in voluntary work or art. It would certainly elevate your mood and increase your self esteem. It's just a thought and certainly worth trying.

Take care.

Take care.

[petee p]

Visit blackdogtribe.com for online support.. Also Ur selfesteem is very low right now. U need to find ways to improve it, look online for tips. Also try learning and doing new things; start small and this will give u a sense of achievement. .. Visit yourlifeyourvoice.org to talk to a free online councellor.. Look up exercise and depression online it releases endorfins which improve mood and brain chemistry. and Art Therapy; channelling what ur feeling into something creative helps ur brain process the negativity in ur head. also find some volunteer work; helping others or nature builds selfesteem, gives life new meaning gives perspective and good karma... u dont have to believe in god but finding some spirituality can really help and good karma is a good start... basically research all u can on depression then when u find things that help come on here and share with the other deprrssed people, more good karma. Why not join clubs groups and activities in ur community where you ll meet like minded people. Or challenge urself by joining groups u wouldnt normally be interested in.  good luck and dont be afraid of going to ur doctor, be totally honest and they ll understand and be able to help; medication can work wonders, like lifting a weight from ur shoulders.

[FAIRIEMMA]

http://beautywithhealth.com/leukemia-blood-cancer.html