My mother is acting like a child, help?

[Amatulla]

I just turned 17, my mom is in her mid 30's. I am the oldest of 7, and take care of them most of the time. My mom doesn't work, she sits around, nurse babies, and watch reality television (real housewives, basketball wives, etc). However, when my (step) dad is home, she tries to make it look as if she is bending over backwards cleaning, and yelling at her kids. She loves to divulge in my friends lives, and be included in our conversations. I know she may be suffering from PMD, since the last baby is 1. She constantly deny it. We think she may be pregnant, which is not helping. She is sooo moody, only happy when she watches her reality shows. I do the cooking and cleaning, am homeschooled, and a senior. I literally do not go anywhere, not even on the patio. However, I like to visit a 97 year old lady monthly, which my mother has a huge problem with. The old lady lives alone, and I love her dearly. My mom likes to act like those women on reality shows (by yelling, screaming, etc). I do not have a cell phone, facebook, twitter, etc, all I want is to be able to visit the old lady more. I feel so comfortable and happy away from home. Oh, and she constantly likes to try to battle me when she has no reality shows to watch. I will make simple suggestions or what not, and she gets all offensive. I will give her advice that she gave me, and she tries to flip it on me. However, when I do the same to her, she gets so upset. She loves it when I gain weight, and hates it when I lose weight. I cannot wait to leave the house, and be my own person. Did I also mention that I homeschool the children, mostly? I don’t ask for money, I want to volunteer, I want to work, but they say they need me at home to “help”. I’ve been doing on my own all of these years. However, when I’m chatting with my only friend in her presence and we talk about the stuff I have to do, she gets all mad and butts into the conversation trying to make excuses for her laziness. I tried to just look over her misbehavior, but she is constantly trying to get me angry in order for my (step)dad to see the “evil” in me. I am extremely close to him and it seems as if she wants us to “compete” for his….I have no idea how to even finish the sentence!? I have so much to tell, no one to tell it to, if I could get a little advice or something would be great. Sorry for the jumpy story, I am rushing to finish before she rouses out of her den. Oh, and my dad likes to side with her on everything, mostly. I can’t wait to get out of here, which she says to me when she is angry, but I feel bad for the rest of the little people. Lastly, the second oldest is only 12.
1) cant tape or redord her, my parents purposely keep those devices away from us. 2) cant sneak out and get a job; I don't go out anywhere. ever. 3) I am focused on getting into BArnard or Colombia, and going for medical school. They dont even want to pay for my application fee. I am trying to apply for a fee waiver at the moment. It is so difficult because I really dont know which steps to take first. Thank you all for your answers! Oh, and I tried talking to her; I just get rebuffed or flipped on.

[Angelica]

Well if I were you I'd tell her like it is until she crus and realizes she's wrong. Call a close family member that you trust and tell them what's going on. Second record her being bitchy towards you and others . That will be your evidence . Video tape you working and cleaning and tape her doing nothing then quietly go to your step dad and show him the tape.
If not just sneak to get a job and save all the money that way you can leave and get your own place. But make sure you save enough money so that way you won't go broke.
And maybe of you write all the things down in a note book. Like your feelings and what not. It helped me when I was going threw some hard times. And also listen to some music. That helps too .

I hope I helped . And good luck !.

[unknown]

Wow

[Chan]

Yes.

[Hayley]

First things first. Well done.for.being such a fantastic support for.your brothers and sisters... You.are.really a great credit to that family. I would not do.any more.to.provoke your mother. (like sneek out or get someone else involved) it will all come back to.hit you in the face some.day.... I no.it must be difficult but try get.her on.her own and sit and.talk to.her. Tell.her you.need a life. Shes obviousky to.immature to.sit and.talk while your step dad or anyone else is there. She will.just shrug her shoulders and act as though.nothing is wrong and what your saying is a lie... She doesnt want to.be made out as a laziness good for.nothing women... And you may be able make a compromise. Maybe see the old lady once a week. Go out with your friends once a week.and be there for her for the rest of the week. Maybe make a router of whos got to what... And if they are old enough. Ask some of your brothers or sisters.to get involced in chores

[Shea]

I am not familiar with homeschooling or what you need to do to get your grades and apply to colleges, but do it. Stay focused. Identify a career. Volunteering is nice, but you are already doing that and will probably have to continue, but do so from your own home. Your mother has no ambition and no drive, so don't let her drag you into the same mentality.

On the other hand, and you already know this, you are what your mother can't even conceive of and she is most likely jealous. Don't acknowledge it or try to compete with her, just get your life in order. You aren't gong to change her, she will have to do that on her own. Maybe later you can talk to her and get her to do something productive with her life. But right now, where you are now, you can't. She can't see it and thinks she has something to offer. She would if she could say, don't do what I did, but she wont. Not yet. Not until she sees that you are serious. You can also be an inspiration to your siblings.

[Rumplefutz13]

Wow. Why did your Mom has so many kids?? So she expects YOU to take care of 6 kids between the ages of 1 and 12??? Tell you Mom to let you be 17 and that SHE needs to take care of her own damn kids.