How to be social with ppl?

[kay_burrr]

I'm 21 & I have always been quiet pretty much all my life. I only talk when spoken 2 when I'm at school. It's just my introvert personality. Ppl complain about me being this way but I just can't help it. Im content in being quiet i rather observe and say things when i want to. this is my biggest flaw that i have I'm really a nice & friendly caring person but ppl at times view my quietness as something negative. I just don't know what the hell to say. I'm like this becuz my education and speech isnt that great and how I grew up. My father wasn't in my life so I don't know how to deal with guys today (I avoid them) & my mom didn't really talk to me growing up..her mother (my grandma) didnt as well. My family has always been judgmental so i always stayed to myself and in my room. It has played a major part in my life today..becuz of my quietness i dont hang out w/ ppl i do know I only talk 2 them on fb, twitter or text sometimes. I'm not a partier I rather be at home drinking with close ppl im comfortable around than to be at a loud bar or something. I wish and pray often that I can just snap out of it and become outgoing like my sister and younger brother but its hard for me. I had a therapist but I had to stop seeing her because I don't have any insurance to cover the sessions anymore. I don't know what else to do. I've applied at tons of jobs so I could boost my confidence and social skills but I never get any calls back bcuz of my lack of experience or poor communication at interviews. Tonight I had cousins come over from out of town and my mom entertained I just sat back and observed and said things at times but mostly I was quiet. And they could tell too. I hate this. I just don't know what to say. I don't have any jokes, stories, or information to offer ppl. Can someone give me any suggestions on how I can Be more open??? I want to beat this. I want friends, family, and a bf for once in my life. What can I do? I hope I explained this right.

[Mintie]

:'(
I am exactly like this. and I am also 21

I wish I could offer help but I am unsure what to do too.
I don't know what to talk about if I ask someone to my house or to coffee.
I found my partner through a dating site and I'm so lucky his amazing and understanding.

[Answer]

what u need to do ist to talk more to people.this can be hard cuz u dont know what to talk abot.so prepare a convrtsation the day before about something u like with a person that also likes this. go out more often with friends and try to participate. drinking beer often helps to losen up. but remember that u alwwys hqve to talk and be active.never just sit and listen. argue'laugh be funny tell jokes. and remember facebook u should only use with ppl u know in real life. i am also quite shy but i am trying to participate more which i hqve found out to be rlly fun. i hope u start being social;-)

[Sweet Solitude]

Ok. I am like this too. People complain about the littliest things. I prefer to be indoors, I avoid people as often as possible. All I can say is be yourself. Don't be afraid to say what you think.
I think it's ridiculous for someone to be declined a job just because of their social status.
Some people just like their own company. Whatever floats your boat.

People should like you for you. As I said, dont be afraid to say what you think. Try to blend in with the crowd.

From my personal experience, I seldom talk to people. Only when I am outside, which is also seldom. I am a college student, I am what you call anti-social. But I'm doing ok for myself
as long as you work, and be polite, who cares about your personal social life?

I would also like to point out that being a socialable person is a choice. Like I said, whatever floats your boat. So, dont let people try and change you.

[cer.beru5]

I understand what you mean because I am highly introverted and communicate far more effectively in text based form such as messenger and emails. Low self esteem and self confidence can make a huge difference on effectively communicating. Self esteem is enhanced by encouragement from family and friends throughout life. Without positive feedback it can make people less confident with themselves, in turn with interactions with others.
There are services out there to help build confidence usually in a group setting. In my company for example, within the Union, they have a public speaking course. It is paid for by the union, but can be beneficial when developing communication skills and self confidence.
It's all about confronting apprehensions and the positive results will instil belief in yourself. There are things that you can do also in real life situations also. EG going to coffee shops and bistros and other social settings, exposing yourself to people and situations.