Tired of this situation.?

[Fedup]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. His ex-wife is a pain in the you know what. They have been divorced for over a 9 years now and have 2 children together ages 11 and 12. She has been an issue in our relationship from day one. Always calling starting arguments with him, always being disrespectful towards me and my children as well. She has never met me but hates me. She hates the fact that my boyfriend is happy with me. She calls us the Brady Bunch, she calls and starts arguments with him over nothing. As soon as me and him moved in together she took out child support on him even though he is a stand up father to his kids. So my question is me and her don't get along obviously so is it right that she still wants to come to my boyfriends families annual Christmas Breakfast. I feel that I'm the new sheriff in town and that they are divorced so she needs to move on. She has a boyfriend of her own and he has kids also so why is she trying to make it a point to be around me and my boyfriends family for the holidays instead of going and being with her man and his family. I understand that people have to get along for the children's sake. But this woman has caused so much drama, confusion( with his kids, trying to turn them against their father). She has disrespected him, me, and my children beyond disrespect. So am I wrong for telling my boyfriend to tell her just drop his children off at the Christmas breakfast and keep it moving. Or should she have the right to attend?

[kate]

It's weird that she's attending. Very weird. Has she always attended in the past 9 years? It sounds like he needs to handle her behavior. There's nothing wrong with her taking out child support, that's her right and it keeps all the paperwork documented, but he needs to lay down boundaries. You may also need to decide if you are willing to deal with her as part of the package. I don't have many friends who are divorced with children, but those that I do have do not spend holidays together and they never have after their divorces. His kids and your kids are obviously part of the deal, but his kids are pretty young and their mom is going to be in the picture for awhile. You two aren't married yet, so this is a good time to find things out. Is he willing to set boundaries that you can live with or can you find away to get along with her on holidays if it's very important (for some reason) that all of you spend them together?

[sacredclay]

She has been married to him for 9 years so she also has relationship with his family members as well. You can suggest to BF to start a new tradition where another Christmas Breakfast can be celebrated in your home between BF, the kids, and you. Afterwards, you guys can go join the other family members to say hello. This woman is always going to cause problems. The only thing you can change is how you react to it. Make it clear to her that she is not to disrespect you and the kids. But be polite. By showing good manners at all time, you will come out on top. BF needs to learn how not to be baited by her. He should screen all calls from now on to make sure contact is minimized between her and him. Sometimes the ex-wife is being bitchy simply because she knows how to get his goat. Now take that power out of her hand by refusing to react the way she expect you to. Good luck.

[Good Life by Love]

she should not go, but if her excuse is his family then you guys should not attend BUT to attend another day as a make-up dinner with the whole family.

She has issues, you need to slip suttle hints to your possible life partner. If he doesn't want to then
seek couples counseling NO medicine. If they say take medicine go some where else. If it doesn't work then you have to think i this something you want forthe rest of your life

Recommended to take it slow, take time to get to know the person. Try to keep things clean, less baggage. Let years of perfect relationship before marriage (if you want you can always be engaged and married after years has passed). You can always accept the marriage ring and just marry when you have a few years of solid peace and love engagement/relationship. Make sure only settle for your soul mate with peace and keep in mind there are many soul mates. Arguing is normal but is it good? no, so make sure it is 7 years no arguments. After 7 solid years of perfect marriage then a child if desired.

If things are minor I usually just wouldn't even give it a second thought. If it is major I just fix it the best way and that's it. Maybe this will be a good method for you guys. Always reinforce it with Love

Also I see premarital counseling working.Church usually has it for free. You can even attend after marriage. Make sure no medicines.


On another note: Try your best. Love like you never love before. This is the best way for love to come and start surrounding your life. May love be around you, through you and is you.

Love and the Good Life will come

P.S. Email me if you have another further statements glhww@yahoo.com
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P.P.P.S. Majority of my answers are for the majority, there are many variables to consider always
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