Is it possible to trust your partner again after they have cheated?

[z2010]

My boyfriend cheated on me last year around August . We have been dating for almost two years now . He didn't necessarily do anything but he had been texting a girl he went to hs with behind my back . I looked through his phone which is how I found out . He told her he loved her .... And we live together :/ His reason is that he just wasn't happy at the time .. Ever since then I don't trust him at all. I constantly feel like I have to look through his phone or whenever he's on his phone he's texting her or something . I love him .. we planned on getting married and such but I honestly can't keep living my life having to wonder what he is doing behind my back . It hurts so much . I know it happened a while ago but I can't let it go ...and the girl he cheated with me on . I feel like she knows I don't like her so she constantly does things to piss me off like follow him on Instagram and twitter and add him on Facebook. I know I might sound childish and I am in my 20s but I can't help it .. I want to trust him again but a lot of people say without trust there's really nothing .. Any advice for people who have been through this ?
They were friends with benefits back in the day... And back in the day he was a player and she wanted to be with him but now I Think he regrets not being with her back then because the texts said if I could go back in time and change things I would in a heartbeat .. I love you... That's how he said it . I check his phone because Ive caught them talking before but it was when we fought and broke up. I just had a feeling ... That is why I checked .

[The]

its not going to work

[Worldly Creation]

The problem is..... why were you looking through his phone for?

[Shim]

The foundation of the relationship is TRUST... Even you love him so much but there is no trust, the relationship might ruin both of you.

[i + i]

Some people are able to dismiss such things,
but for the most part (especially given the way
things are in your situation) it is pretty much
over. Move on, and try to leave the baggage
of this relationship out of your next one.

[the3stooges]

without trust there is nothing 2cd the girl follows him on Instagram and twitter? if he really loved you he wouldnt let this girl have some way where its possible to contact him he should be trying to get your trust back! trust me this happened to me back in my days I thought I wouldn't trust him no more at those time my husband was my boyfriend and he did the same thing. but my husband started gaining my trust and changing he completely took the girl he cheated on me with out of his life completely. if its true love it will last if it isn't it time to move on .. a relationship needs respect to!

[bonnijar]

Grown ups can text male and female friends, as long as the texts are appropriate and should be able to do so without worrying about someone checking up on them. In what context did he say he loved her? I mean, "love you, talk to you later" is one thing, but "love you and can't wait to feel you against me" is quite another. If you truly feel he was cheating, then no, I'd say a cheater is a cheater. Honestly, from what you've written, it sounds like you are overreacting and you need to be real honest with yourself in this matter. This constant checking his phone will grow very old for him. He doesn't need a phone monitor, he needs a partner. But, if he was really flirting, watch out! I had a friend who had taken her bf to a world series playoff game, her treat, and she saw a text that he sent to a girl that said "wish you were here with me". She gave him the benefit of the doubt ... really! I'd left him at the stadium. LOL.
Here's the best piece of advice I know. If there is something about him that is bothering you now and you go ahead and get married, it almost always gets worse and not better. So ask yourself, if this doesn't change, is it something I can happily live with. If the answer is no, move on as fast as you can!

[Shy Guy]

It wasn't cheating, but it was disrespectful and disloyal to you. A HUGE problem is that they had a romantic relationship in the past and they are still in contact today. Dating Rule: NO exes lurking in the background. He has also recently said he LOVES her. He tells an ex that he loves her while he is in a relationship with you.

You know it's time to end it. It's not insecure on your part. It's inappropriate behavior on his part and I can't imagine he would ever stop contact with her.