Why Does This Guy Text Me Randomly, and When I Text Back, He Ignores Me For Days? 10pts?

[Lynn]

A month ago I got a random facebook message from a guy I met in college. (We shared a class last semester and he showed alot of interest in me: stealing glances, staring, telling other people that I "seemed interesting and he wanted to get to know me but I'm so quiet.”) Anyway, we exchanged numbers over fb and have been texting on and off ever since. When I see him randomly he’ll compliment my clothes and jewelry. Earlier this month when we saw each other we hugged hello and goodbye, and he kept saying we should hang out sometime. (He even texted me once asking if I wanted to go to dinner with him, but I was too busy unfortunately since I own a small business.)

HOWEVER, for the past two weeks he’s been texting me first and when I’d respond he wouldn’t answer me. Then he’d text me many days later apologizing and claiming he was “feeling antisocial/tired/working, etc. But once when I checked his twitter, I saw that he had made plans to chat with a girl online after work. He texted me early the next morning apologizing about how he was SO tired after work, and went to bed right away, which wasn’t true.

7 days ago he texted me, and I msged him back but he ignored my texts UNTIL this Christmas morning when he texted me at 8:00am apologizing for not getting back to me lately. He wished me a merry Christmas too. I texted him back hours later and wished him a good one as well. Two days pass before he texts me again this morning.

Why do guys do this? I’m just curious. I’m no longer romantically interested in him since I felt so hurt and self-conscious from his hot-cold behavior in the past, and blamed myself a lot. I’ve cried a lot over all of this and felt so stressed and depressed. (I’ve never had a bf, and suffer from anxiety and depression) But I’m feeling much better now that I’ve kind of gotten over him, and have realized he isn’t good boyfriend material for me. I’m still curious though, why does he randomly text me out of the blue, apologize for ignoring me, and then do it again??

[Melanie B]

He probably plays this game with a lot more girls than just you, and I suspect that it makes him feel popular. After all, he can brag about all the women who text him (even though the texting is virtually meaningless), and if he's half the attention whore I suspect he is, the constant attention keeps him feeling warm and fuzzy inside (despite the fact that he's hurting people).

I honestly don't think that he expected to have anything more than casual interaction with you. I could be wrong about that, but nothing you've written here suggests otherwise. When you find someone who's actually boyfriend material, he certainly isn't going to make you feel like this guy did. He's going to give you constant attention, not blow you off. He's going to make you feel special and adored. And you're going to know that he's interested in you romantically rather than spending your time wondering if you're wasting your time and emotions on him.