It seems like females are more emotionally attached than men about the person they lost their virginity to.?

[Dani]

I'm a girl. From what I've seen, it seems like girls are so much more emotionally hurt when they break up with their first than guys. Don't get me wrong, I know that some guys get very upset as well, but I don't understand why so many more are so much less effected than girls. The guy that I lost my virginity to broke up with me over four months ago and I'm still not over it. I know that it also has to do with the fact that he was also my first love, but for now I would just like to know about the science behind it. If you can explain anything about the bonds made by losing your virginity or how it is different for guys and girls, I would really appreciate it.

I've also read somewhere that the more you had/have sex with a person, the stronger the bond. Is that true?

By the way, I don't mean to insult anyone by this, I'm just saying what I've seen. I could be wrong.

Thanks a bunch.

[DaisyGirl]

I'm pretty sure it depends on the person. Yes, on average, guys are more sex-oriented because of higher testosterone levels, but many guys aren't having sex left and right, and many girls aren't too emotionally invested in their sex partners, so it's up to the individual.

[Angelikyee]

Many guys aren't as mature as girls, you would probably already know that, girls can respect others a lot more than certain guys can. Like someone Lese said (forgot the name) it also depends on the person. My boyfriend is 17 and I'm 15, and he seems really mature and nice to me, but he still has his guy moments like all the others ahaha hope This helps

[flyingdebris]

It probably depends more on the person than the gender. I think the fact that he was your first love matters more than the sex.
It depends on how involved each person was in the relationship. If the guy was in love with the girl, he might be more affected than the girl.
Plus, guys are taught (in our society) that hiding their emotions is masculine and manly. They are taught that guys should want sex all the time, that is can be casual, that is shouldn't matter as much who it is with. So guys might hide their true feelings about this sort of thing. Girls are taught that they need to have sex only with guys they love/care deeply about, so they feel able to talk about their feelings on the subject more openly. If a guy kept talking about how heartbroken he was about a girl using him for sex, his friends would make fun of him. A girl's friends would empathize and be much more understanding and supportive about her sadness and pain over the thing.
I've known guys to be completely heartbroken, much more so than their ex, but they try to hide it well.

[wolf]

Excellent.
Men and women operate differently, it's social dynamics. So when guys lose their virginity, assuming the average American male loses it at 16, the emotional investment is not as deep as it is for women because of cultural stigma and his evolutionary script. Think of it this way:
Boy loses virginity--> becomes a 'man' and is celebrated for his biological imperative to use his baby making device.
Girl loses virginity--> shit gets serious, so she must engage in commitment in order to preserve her [potential] fertilized egg.

Our culture applauds a man's virginity loss because it is seen as a form of power; the more women a man has, the higher his sexual market value is perceived, therefore more powerful. For women, loyalty is seen as an attractive feature because it links back to their evolutionary script to mate with one male at a time. So when you read about Kim Kardashian and all the men she has been, the only adjective that describes he nature is: whore. Yes, men still want to smash, but will be subconscious of her infidelity- screening her out for long-term potential.

From a biological angle, women are more valuable because they only have a limited number of eggs. Men, are not as biologically valuable because they produce more sperm than Chinese manufactured products. For instance, if there are 10 females and 1 male in the room, the male can mate with all the females. Every female will be emotionally moved to care after their child. In contrast, if there are 10 males and only 1 female in the room, the female can only mate with one male because the other 9 males in the room will not look after the female's embryo/child. For this reason, men go around propagating their genes while women must stay committed to a single relationship.

More sex does not equate to a stronger bond, but sex ALWAYS comes with a price. Because humans are polygamous in nature, sex with the same person can fill us with ennui- resorting to other partners. Aside from the biological and cultural differences of men and women, both genders, heed to this advice: Never underestimate your ability to care for someone else.