Looking for advice regarding a teenage stepson?

[lisa]

I am married to a wonderful man, he has a 17 year old son, who he pretty much raised on his own. He is for the most part, a really nice kid to your face. Together my husband and I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I consider it to be a happy and stable family life. He sees his mom pretty infrequently, once every month or so, tops and they don't get along very well. He and his dad have always had a good relationship and he and I have always gottten along well.

My concern is, my step son, over the last couple of years, has been doing pretty poorly in school, lying about not having homework (resulting in failing several classes...he is very smart and does well on work he does turn in). We suspect is is using some drugs (pot....the last thing he needs is something to reduce his motivation). He is very lazy, has tried to get a part time job, but has had no luck.

I have looked at some postings on his twitter account (I do feel a little guilty about "spying", but I just googled his name & it came up, so its open to whoever wants to see it). Some of his posts make him sound like such an entitled, spoiled little brat. Christmas morning, he posted "everyone absolutely worships my sister..." so there is apparently some jealousy issues. We are trying to get him in to a counselor to see if they can help, he won't tell his dad if there is a problem, but just wanted some feedback. Is he just being a teenager? I feel like he resents me at times, like I'm taking him away from his dad, yet he is with is friends constantly and hardly ever home, so its not like even makes time to spend with his dad, if that is even the issue.

Will this just pass eventually? I hope so, I want to be pro-active and help if there is anything I can or should do though.
Thank you for your feedback Steph. I hope it didn't sound like I felt threatened by him, and I don't consider that he is "disrupting" my life. I just know how frustrated his dad is and just want to support and help anyway that I can. His dad wants him to be a successful adult someday (which technically is less than a year until he turns 18) and at this rate, he's not on a very good path to that. I'm sure it must be very difficult for it to have been just he and his dad, and now there's me and a new baby and he has to share his dad.

I'm sure there's no easy answer. I just hope he decides to open up to his dad at least, they have had some good discussions in the past & he always says he's going to try harder in school, etc, but that never seems to last long. Hopefully its just normal teenage stuff and something will click eventually.
Also, his dad has tried to get him to do things, just the two of them (which I completely support), but time with his friends seems to be the priority.

[Steph]

I think you should leave it to his dad to give him advice and most teenagers are self centered and it's all about them. He will experiment with drugs drink ect. Perhaps you see him as a threat and is disrupting your life ? Maybe encourage time on his own with his dad , it must be hard his dad having another child with you and he will feel pushed out which is natural. I expect he will grow up and feel more stable in time.