Why didn't my university care about me?

[StevieSinatra]

I've since left this university, but during my year there, it was misery. I went to the hospital 9 times in one semester. I always felt so sick, but each time I did, we'd go to the ER and they'd tell me that I had high blood pressure because yes, it was high, and then send me on my way. It wasn't until I came home for Christmas break and saw my doctor here in my own state that I learned I had mono and that's what caused the high BP.

I could barely get out of bed to use the bathroom and shower, much less get to class. I was receiving zero medical attention. In the dorms, those that have cars are supposed to drive others to the doctor and hospital. No one would drive me. I had to call an ambulance twice to get me to the ER and then got in trouble with campus security for causing a scene. I was told countless times I was a hypochondriac and lost most of my friends. I failed out of the semester there because I could hardly go to class and when I did make it, the people sitting around me would say, "Look who finally decided to show up."

I had to leave that school because of how unhappy and sick I was while there. I lost all of my friends because no one believed that I was genuinely sick. The doctors and nurses weren't much better. It once took them thirteen tries to get an IV in me. I was so sick and so miserable and no one cared. My dorm's door would be vandalized on a daily basis. My RA wouldn't even speak to me or invite me to our hall's events. I felt so sick and so alone.

Now I've discovered a girl from that university that was my friend before all this mess has been in the hospital. She's got support pages on facebook, twitter, and tumblr asking for her prayers. Her friends go down to the hospital every day to visit with her. These were at a time my really good friends. I just don't understand how everything switches from how they treated me to how they treated her.

My university promised because of my medical reasons they would understand and be lenient with me, but at that university attendance counted more than tests and work and I failed out. Now even some of her professors and going to visit her and even have allowed her to take a test in the hospital. She's there because of a stomach ache and her being unable to keep down food for awhile. People post pictures of her and she's clearly not as bad as I ever was - laughing and dancing with her friends in her hospital room.

I just don't get it. I know I sound selfish and winy but I genuinely do not understand the drastic difference between how they treated me, and how they treat her.
I wasn't down all the time. I tried to be happy and I even would invite friends to go to the movies with me on days that I felt better. They just weren't interested. I didn't try to be "down" about it. I grew up with a mom who'd tell me that if I was down to cheer myself up and that's what I'd try to do.

Also, I know it's not a care home, but it was a small university. Everyone always took care of everyone else and professors would meet you for coffee and there'd be hall Christmas parties and secret santas. Our dorm was the largest dorm on campus and it housed 100 students. We were all close before my illness and I expected that we'd be close forever. I had no idea that things would be the way they were. For the first two months I genuinely thought these would be some of the people I'd have at my wedding. We always did so much together.

It's just odd to me how sick I was and literally no one but my fiance (then boyfriend) seemed

[Sam]

Being popular and friends with the professors have it's perks.

[cotbr]

I am not sure but thats life really, there doesn't have to be a reasoning for everything, sometimes some people are liked more than others. You could also be overanaylzing the differences in how they treat you because people tend to magnify the negative in their life so it may just feel kind of like the world is against you.

Its good you left the University, just try to forget about it and start over new, don't let that bad experience haunt you so much

[chris n]

Sorry you are ill honey, but frankly, the way you've written your question makes you sound like a victim just waiting to be punished. This is a university, not a care home. You were sick which made you feel low and depressed and those were the vibes you gave out constantly. Being depressed probably didn't help your general health either as mood can affect you physically. I suspect it all became rather a vicious circle that you were trapped in. I can understand why people kept away from you and you lost friends. It's not a nice thing to happen and I also understand your feelings about it and how let down you feel - but I think you ought to try and understand their feelings too. They are faced with a person who is depressed. When asked how you are, I expect you gave them a blow by blow account of your illnesses. If you KNOW that any conversation you are going to have with a particular person is going to make you feel bad yourself, you avoid them where possible. I think this is what happened to you and your friends. I suspect that this other sick girl isn't a long term depressive and doesn't usually give out 'down' vibes to everyone. Her illness is probably not long-drawn-out like yours was and therefore people can be caring towards her because they can see an end to her problem. Your problem was endless while you were at university unfortunately. I hope that now your illness has been properly diagnosed at last and that you are receiving treatment for it, things are looking up for you. You have left Uni - a place where you were really unhappy - and I think you should put it all in the past. The people there were pretty shallow by the sound of it so it's no great loss to lose them. Move on. All that time is now history. Look to the future instead. Good luck.