Poll: If you had a 12 year old daughter...?

[Jane]

If you had a 12 year old daughter...?

1. Would you get her a phone? If so, which type / model?
2. What would her allowance be, and would it be monthly or weekly?
3. Would you let her date?
4. What gadgets would you allow her to have?
5. What would her bedtime be on a school night?
6. What would her bedtime be at the weekend?
7. Would you make her go to church regularly?
8. When would you make her do homework on school nights?
9. When would you make her do homework on weekends (Friday night, Saturday or Sunday)?
10. Would you let her eat fast foodd, and how often?
11. Would you make her be active and do extra-curricular activities?
12. Would you be strict or slightly less strict and over looking?
13. Would you let her blasphememe? (say 'Oh my God' etc)
14. Would you let her swear?
15. Would you wear her high heels?
16. If she saved up for long enough, would you let her buy whatever she wanted?
17. Would you put a children block on her laptop (if she had one)?
18. What chores would you give her?
19. How would you make her travel to and from school? Would you drive her?
20. Would you let her have twitter, BBM or Facebook etc?
21. If she said she was having trouble with friendship / bullying at school, how would you deal with it?
22. If she said she was having trouble with schoolwork, how would you deal with that?
23. What chores / jobs would you have her do weekly?
24. What punishments would be in store if she was to misbehave or not do chores?

Just a quiz

[Soñadora]

1. Would you get her a phone? If so, which type / model?
No. A 12 year old doesn't need a phone. If it were necessary because I often work late and I am unable to pick her up or something like that, I would get her one of those prepaid phones that can only call five contacts, and they would all be family members.

2. What would her allowance be, and would it be monthly or weekly?
Allowance? What for? If she wants something she can ask me for it and I'll buy it if there's a good reason to do it.

3. Would you let her date?
Hmm, it would depend on the maturity of the girl, I think I would be reluctant to do so but maybe under slight supervision I could manage something. But it depends a lot on the personality of the girl and on her maturity.

4. What gadgets would you allow her to have?
Gadgets? What do you mean? I guess she could have an iPod and videogames if that's what you mean.

5. What would her bedtime be on a school night?
10:00 pm seems reasonable.

6. What would her bedtime be at the weekend?
11:00? Maybe midnight at most.

7. Would you make her go to church regularly?
Nope, if she doesn't want to go to church I can't force her.

8. When would you make her do homework on school nights?
As long as it is done on time, I don't mind when.

9. When would you make her do homework on weekends (Friday night, Saturday or Sunday)?
Friday night is probably best. But I don't think I would be too strict about this, it depends on what kind of homework does she have, how much work, etc.

10. Would you let her eat fast foodd, and how often?
Yes, though it probably shouldn't be more than once a week.

11. Would you make her be active and do extra-curricular activities?
I would encourage her but not force her.

12. Would you be strict or slightly less strict and over looking?
Strict

13. Would you let her blasphememe? (say 'Oh my God' etc)
Sure.

14. Would you let her swear?
Not on my watch.

15. Would you wear her high heels?
In a special occasion, perhaps. And the heel shouldn't be too high.

16. If she saved up for long enough, would you let her buy whatever she wanted?
Probably, yeah.

17. Would you put a children block on her laptop (if she had one)?
Probably, but I wouldn't be unreasonable about it. It would mainly restrict the time she can spend on it (some kids would stay all day if they could). I wouldn't get her a laptop, though. She could use the family computer.

18. What chores would you give her?
Just the basic, clear your room, that kind of stuff.

19. How would you make her travel to and from school? Would you drive her?
Yes, I would drive her.

20. Would you let her have twitter, BBM or Facebook etc?
Yes, but I would probably add her.

21. If she said she was having trouble with friendship / bullying at school, how would you deal with it?
I would give her advice but it depends on the situation. If more action is needed I would do more.

22. If she said she was having trouble with schoolwork, how would you deal with that?
I would help her out with the schoolwork.

23. What chores / jobs would you have her do weekly?
Just look after herself. Watch her own dishes, and don't leave a mess.

24. What punishments would be in store if she was to misbehave or not do chores?
It depends on the offense.

[LINDA R]

1. NO!
2. An allowance would depend on the chores she does and how often.
3. NO!
4. NONE!
5. 9 pm no matter what or when.
6. 9 pm no matter what or when.
7. Only if she wanted to go.
8. Right after she gets home from school.
9. In the mornings.
10. NEVER NEVER EVER! Healthy foods only, no carbonated drinks and no sweets.
11. Active yes....extra-curricular activities - only if she's interested.
12. Strict.......she will appreciate this more when she's an adult.
13. NEVER NEVER EVER! If she did - hot sauce on the tongue.
14. NEVER NEVER EVER! If she did - hot sauce on the tongue.
15. NEVER NEVER EVER! Bad for her posture and ruins her feet.
16. NO...not until she's 18; has her own job and living on her own.
17. NO electronic gadgets...remember...
18. EVERYTHING but cleaning my bedroom and my bathroom.
19. This depends on how close the school is. If I didn't work - drive her.
20. NO electronic gadgets....remember....
21. YES....speak to the school principal and demand something be done about it.
22. Only if I understood what she was doing - if not, then get her a tutor.
23. Same as #18.
24. Privileges taken away and grounded.

[Forever]

1. Yes I would. I am going to get my daughter a phone for her 10th birthday. The phone is for my own piece of mind, though she does want one very badly.

2. Her allowance is a reflection of her age. She is 9 so she gets $9.00 each week. We deduct according to her behavior at home and school. We increase according to extra chores or responsibilities she took on. Her average allowance each week is around $20.00 - $25.00.

3. Absolutely not. My daughter is not allowed to date until she is at least 16 and even then it depends on her school work, maturity level and behavior. School is full of enough distractions with friends, gossip and drama, we certainly do not need to be adding boys into the mix. I want her to stay right away from that.

4. Some of her school work is online so she does have a laptop. She has a TV, and DVD player in her room. She has a Nintendo DSi XL, a Wii, a keyboard, and a karaoke machine. Not to mention thousands of toys, movies and crafts. Ugh!

5. Her bed time on school nights will be 9:00 pm - 9:30 pm and we do not enforce a bed time on nights she does not have school. Currently, her bed time is 8:00 pm.

6. Refer to # 5.

7. Yes, we go to church regularly. As long as she is living at home, and with the exception of her being sick, she will be required to attend church.

8. She is required to do her homework as soon as she arrives home from school. She comes in, plays with the animals for a few minutes, takes care of her things and then it is homework and snack time. This will not change as homework is important and distractions are unnecessary. There are times, however, that I feel she has been in school all day and worked on her homework for more than 45 minutes so I make an executive decision to have her leave the homework unfinished. This does not happen often but, when it does, I write a note to her teacher and fully expect them to understand and not penalize my daughter. Kids need down time too!

9. Again, homework is done when she arrives home from school. It would be done Friday afternoon and then put away for Monday. Then she is free to have the weekend to play.

10. Shamefully we eat fast food far more than we should. It is unhealthy and high in fat. We began the fast food trend because our daughter is tiny and has a very difficult time putting on weight. She still has a very hard time gaining weight but fast food hasn't helped that. Time to end our fast food tryst I guess, as it can lead to bad life long habits.

11. Yes I do and I will when she is 12. I don't care what she chooses to do, be it cheer leading or drama club or even math club, but she will do something.

12. We are strict on some things and less strict on others. She absolutely wont be allowed to date but she will have more freedom regarding hanging out with friends and such.

13. Of course not. I might let an accidental "oh sh!t" slip with a stern look and a warning to mind your tongue but referring to God in any manner other than loving is unacceptable and warrants immediate punishment such as a lengthy amount of time in her bedroom.

14. No, of course not. Swearing is for the uneducated masses. It shows little character and incredible immaturity. Kids swear because they think it is cool, it isn't. I myself have been known to drop a few inappropriate words and it isn't becoming.

15. I do wear heels, or chunky shoes and I allow my daughter to wear them within reason. Yes, at 12, she will still be allowed to wear heels but it depends on how they look and they can be no taller than 2 inches.

16. Yes, and I do. She wont be allowed to buy anything inappropriate for her age though.

17. Yes, there are parental blocks on her laptop. This is not because I don't trust her, it is because accidents happen and so do pop ups.

18. Well, in addition to her current chores of caring for her pets, sweeping, vacuuming and setting/clearing the table, she would have to mop, help with laundry, do dishes and maybe even shovel the walk.

19. I do drive her as I hate school buses and will not have her on one. She did try it for a little bit this year and she hated it as much as I did. No more school bus, period.

20. No way. Far too much gossip and bullying. Too much potential for bad things to happen. Absolutely not.

21. I would listen to her, allow her to say everything that is troubling her. Then, we would discuss what she wants to do about it and talk about ways we can try to fix the problem. If it ever became necessary, I would give her the option of home schooling, relocating or tuitioning her into a different school.

22. I would assist her to the best of my ability. I would have her speak to her teachers for extra help and would arrange a meeting if I felt it necessary. I would also hire a tutor if she wanted or needed one.

23. Refer to # 18.

24. Anything from reductions of her allowance to restriction and loss of privileges.

[Aaron]

1. Would you get her a phone? If so, which type / model? Yes, whatever she wanted within reason

2. What would her allowance be, and would it be monthly or weekly? Probably €10 p/week

3. Would you let her date? Not at 12, no

4. What gadgets would you allow her to have? Kindle, iPad, computer, iPod, Phone, video games..

5. What would her bedtime be on a school night? Lights out at 10pm

6. What would her bedtime be at the weekend? I'd be pretty lenient

7. Would you make her go to church regularly? No, we're not overly religious

8. When would you make her do homework on school nights? Yes, both of my girls are assigned homework on a nightly basis

9. When would you make her do homework on weekends (Friday night, Saturday or Sunday)? If she was still in primary school, no, she wouldn't get any. In secondary school, she would, so yes.

10. Would you let her eat fast food, and how often? Yes, no more than once a week. Ideally 2-3 times a month

11. Would you make her be active and do extra-curricular activities? Yes, but she would chose

12. Would you be strict or slightly less strict and over looking? Depends

13. Would you let her blasphememe? (say 'Oh my God' etc)? I suppose

14. Would you let her swear? No

15. Would you wear her high heels? No

16. If she saved up for long enough, would you let her buy whatever she wanted? Within reason

17. Would you put a children block on her laptop (if she had one)? No, i'd trust her, but I would if she was hiding the laptop from me or being secretive

18. What chores would you give her? Depends

19. How would you make her travel to and from school? Would you drive her? Drive her

20. Would you let her have twitter, BBM or Facebook etc? Not BBM, my older daughter has told me some bad things about that. Maybe twitter, i'd follow her. And facebook if she's let me friend her.

21. If she said she was having trouble with friendship / bullying at school, how would you deal with it? Like any responsible parent should, deal with the school

22. If she said she was having trouble with schoolwork, how would you deal with that? Help her, maybe get her tutoring/grinds

23. What chores / jobs would you have her do weekly? Depends

24. What punishments would be in store if she was to misbehave or not do chores? Maybe less pocket money, more chores, grounding... I'm not overly harsh when it's little things

[Leah]

1. Would you get her a phone? If so, which type / model? the one she wanted as long as i could afford it
2. What would her allowance be, and would it be monthly or weekly?yes and weekely if i could afford it
3. Would you let her date?no
4. What gadgets would you allow her to have?laptop phone ipod
5. What would her bedtime be on a school night?9.00 pm
6. What would her bedtime be at the weekend? 10.00 pm
7. Would you make her go to church regularly?no
8. When would you make her do homework on school nights?yes
9. When would you make her do homework on weekends (Friday night, Saturday or Sunday)?if she had some that needed to be done then yes
10. Would you let her eat fast foodd, and how often?once a month
11. Would you make her be active and do extra-curricular activities?yes
12. Would you be strict or slightly less strict and over looking?not sure
13. Would you let her blasphememe? (say 'Oh my God' etc)no
14. Would you let her swear?no
15. Would you wear her high heels?no
16. If she saved up for long enough, would you let her buy whatever she wanted?yes
17. Would you put a children block on her laptop (if she had one)?yes
18. What chores would you give her?washing up tidying her room makeing her bed
19. How would you make her travel to and from school? Would you drive her?no she could get the bus
20. Would you let her have twitter, BBM or Facebook etc?bbm yes aslong as she only had people she know on there but the other two no
21. If she said she was having trouble with friendship / bullying at school, how would you deal with it?talk to her about it
22. If she said she was having trouble with schoolwork, how would you deal with that?get a tutor
23. What chores / jobs would you have her do weekly?
24. What punishments would be in store if she was to misbehave or not do chores?

[Kumquat]

1) Yes. Something not too expensive and flashy, but I think 12 is old enough to have a phone, and it can be useful in many situations.

2) I would give an allowance. Probably weekly for now, but when she gets a bit older (13 or 14) monthly so that she can learn to budget and not spend it all at once. It would depend on whether it was a "treats" allowance or a "buy your own clothes and cinema tickets" allowance. I think a good amount at that age would be about 5 dollars a week.

3) I wouldn't expressively forbid it, because that just leads to rebellion. However I would discourage "dating" and encourage being friends with boys instead.

4) An ipod or mp3 player. A phone and maybe a games console. She should have access to a computer, but at this age a family computer is fine, and I would limit the time spent on it.

5) 9.30

6) 10, unless there is a good reason for staying up. It would certainly be flexible.

7) I would never force religion on a child but at the same time, if it is a "family" thing, then she should be expected to go. If she can come up with a proper argument explaining why she doesn't want to go, then I would allow her to stay at home.

8) I would only supervise homework if there has been past issues with it not being done on time. Otherwise she is old enough not to have to be "made" to do her homework.

9) Again, no "making" her do her homework, but I would encourage that it is done asap, ie not left until sunday evening.

10) yes, if out with friends or at the cinema, not regularly. About once or twice a month

11) To an extent yes. I obviously wouldn't force her to do something she hated but being fit and healthy is important and she should do at least one type of physical activity, whether that's ice-skating or playing soccer. In addition we would do family activities such as going to the pool with improve fitness.

12) I would set high expectations but very few concrete rules. Negotiation and compromise and discussion are far more valuable life lessons than rules and punishments.
For example (when she is a bit older) I wouldn't set a rule about how late she is allowed to be out, but I expect her to be back when she said she was.

13) I wouldn't ban it, but I would expect her to be respectful with her language. If she was using it too often I would ask her to refrain from it.

14) It depends on the context. If she drops a bookcase on her foot and swears and is in in obvious pain, I would ignore it, but is she stormed out of a room saying " f*** this!" there would be consequences.

15) No. When is she is older (14?) she can wear high heels to go to parties and things if she wants to, but in my opinion 12 is far too young.

16) As long as i didn't have a serious objection to the item in question (basically, if it was given to her, would i let her keep it?)

17) no. I know there are dangers on the internet, but I think it is more valuable to have a discussion about paedophiles and pornography so that she can protect herself rather than relying on softwear to block it. Also it means she can feel as though she is being treated in a more adult way.

18) No chores that are "hers" to do, but at that age she should be helping around the house. Washing up, distributing the laundry and laying the table are things she would be expected to do if asked.

20) I don't know about the others, but for facebook you have to be 13. I would not let her have an account before then, and if she was irresponsible then I would be checking what she posts and who she is friends with. If she is responsible I would not check up on her, but remind her that future employers can she what she posts, even if it is "private" and that once on the internet it can never be taken back.

19) If there were good, safe, reliable public transports links then she could get the bus/train if she wanted, but I would offer to drive. If we lived very close to the school she should walk or cycle, depending on the safety of the roads and distance. I would come with her if she wanted or if I wasn't confident that she was safe.

[Edward]

No phone, she don't need one til she has a job
Weekly is good
No dating too young
No gadgets
10:00 weeknights
11:00 week-ends
Encouage but not make
Homework is very important it is done before she goes outside or has fun
Maybe
That would be up to her
Possible
Yes, (my mother would not even let my say Oh my God)
Heck NO!
No
Yes, but I will still need to know what she buys
That I an unable to answer
Clean room, on regular basis, dishes once week,
Would strongly encourage her to walk, I drive her if the weather is bad like rain, snow or extreme cold
Yes, but I need to monitor it
I would talk with the principal about it
SIt down and talk about it and help her if I am able to
Refer to question #18
Grounding or loss of privleges

[Pauly W]

1) Yes, but only use it to call parents, immediate family members or in an emergency.
2) I would give her $15/week, and encourager her to spend the money wisely.
3) No
4) Maybe just an iPod
5) 10:30 on school nights
6) 11:00--11:30 PM on weekends,
7) Well have her go to church at least twice a month
8) Absolutely, also make her do the homework before she goes outside, or spends time with friends etc,
9) IF it is a lot of homework yes.
10) Once a week, and only if we don't have time to stop at a sit-down type of restaurant such as Perkin's
11) I would recommend it but not make her. If she likes an activity then I would suggest her to join such as Cheer leading or track.
12) That I don't know
13) Yes
14) NO! Swearing is totally inappropriate
15) No
16) Yes, but I need to know what she bought
17) That depends on the situation
18) Simple household chores
19) Have her walk or ride a bike. IF the weather is bad, then I would drive her, or call her a taxi,
20) Yes, but make sure she is not going overboard on it.
21) I would sit down and talk to her about it, also if it is very bad I would call the school
22) Help her the best I can
23) Maybe vacuuming. doing some light yard work, maybe the dishes if needed, and feeding the dog or cat.
24) That depends on the situation.

[almarj70]

If you had a 12 year old daughter...?

1. Would you get her a phone? If so, which type / model? Standard phone. It is the way of the world and having her in contact is vital.

2. What would her allowance be, and would it be monthly or weekly? An allowance with extra for duties that are one off.

3. Would you let her date?No. Just mixed grouped dates with friends her own age.


4. What gadgets would you allow her to have? iPad or Laptop. Phone. MP3 Player

5. What would her bedtime be on a school night?9pm

6. What would her bedtime be at the weekend?10pm, but be flexible, some good movie etc.

7. Would you make her go to church regularly?No.

8. When would you make her do homework on school nights?Yes, get iT out of the way.

9. When would you make her do homework on weekends (Friday night, Saturday or Sunday)?depends if anything is due

10. Would you let her eat fast foodd, and how often?only as a treat and would encourage healthier options, I.e Zamberos Mexican.

11. Would you make her be active and do extra-curricular activities?most definitely. But it would be something she enjoyed, dance, football, tennis

12. Would you be strict or slightly less strict and over looking?slightly less strict as she grows older.

13. Would you let her blasphememe? (say 'Oh my God' etc)not a problem as I don't consider it blasphemous

14. Would you let her swear?no

15. Would you wear her high heels?only on special occasions and no hooker heels

16. If she saved up for long enough, would you let her buy whatever she wanted?yes, but it would be an encouraged purpose and I would suggest a donation as part of it.

17. Would you put a children block on her laptop (if she had one)?yes, not that I don't trust her, it is everyone else

18. What chores would you give her?Household chores, including male oriented ones.

19. How would you make her travel to and from school? Would you drive her?i hope that school is in walking distance and she would walk or ride. If too far, school bus or drive.

20. Would you let her have twitter, BBM or Facebook etc?Facebook and she would have me added.

21. If she said she was having trouble with friendship / bullying at school, how would you deal with it?get her to talk to us and her teachers about it.

22. If she said she was having trouble with schoolwork, how would you deal with that?Tutors

23. What chores / jobs would you have her do weekly?dishes, garbage, tidy room, some dinner preparation, setting the table for meals.

24. What punishments would be in store if she was to misbehave or not do chores?no allowance, no social activities. No Facebook.