PLEASE HELP ME, I BEG YOU?

[Dr Doom]

This will be a VERY long question, but please read it patiently. Its a matter of a few minutes for you, but for me its a matter of my life.

I'm an engineering graduate in computer science, 2011 pass out. I'm unable to get a job because of my pathetic academic record. People suggested I work for small company, and all that. But nothing is working. Even small companies are asking for good academic record. I even tried backdoor entry by paying 2 lakhs to a person who promised me a job, but he cheated me and escaped with the money. Hell, I'm even ready to work for FREE (just to get experience certificate for 1 year), but even then no employer is willing to take me. Now I've realized that its impossible to get an IT job because of my poor academic record. I've got really good technical skills, and my poor academic record was only due to two reasons:-
1) The quality of education in my college was pathetic. The teachers themselves didn't know anything. I failed a lot, before finally completing my engineering. There was no input at all from my teachers. I acquired all the skills only AFTER I completed graduation, by attending several training programs. I can't tell this reason to any employer because they feel I should have studied myself, without depending on teachers' input.
2) A more solid reason is that I've been a psychiatric patient since 2000 (when I was 13 years old), diagnosed with acute depression and schizophrenia. This made learning very difficult for me, hence I couldn't score well during graduation. Even now I'm undergoing regular medications and counselling sessions from a psychiatrist, but the symptoms are well under control. I can't tell this reason to my employees either,because psychiatric patients are seen as "crazy" by most people, and its social stigma as well.

In my stupid country India, people are employed based on their marks, rather than skill. I really hate my country. I have a good amount of proficiency with these things [ C, C++, Data Structures, HTML, Java, J2EE (including EJB), C#, Asp.Net, WPF, XML, Ado.Net, Oracle 10g, Derby 10.4 , Microsoft SQL Server 2008, Microsoft Office 2010, NetBeans IDE, Microsoft Visual Studio 2008]. I've also undergone a couple of trainings and certifications. Now please don't suggest me to work in BPO or call center. I have enough technical skills to build my own project. Just because of poor academics I don't want to work in call centers where even 10th grade passouts work. Besides, I've spent a lot on various courses and certification, which would be total waste if I go for BPO. And higher studies like MTech or MBA are not possible. Even if I do MTech, it will be of no use because recruiters ask for consistent academic performance, so I won't get employed due to my poor engineering academics even if I perform really well in MTech. And MBA costs lakhs, so I can't afford it. I can't even take loan because there is no earning member in my family to sign guarantee for loan. I'm already 26 years old. I'm desperately in need of a job because my dad is dead, and there is no earning member in my family. I have my mom, aged grandma and younger brother to take care of. So there are absolutely NO options left for me.

I really want to kill myself. I tried everything, but I've realized I'm a total failure in life. There is absolutely no hope left. But I'm very very scared of killing myself, because if my suicide attempt fails, I may become handicapped for life. So please suggest me some method in which death is certain (don't tell me to shoot myself, 'cos I don't have a gun). Since I'm a psychiatric patient, I do have psychiatric drugs with me. I have heard that an overdose of psychiatric drugs mixed with alcohol can cause death. Is this true? Please help me.

[Rhiannon]

No one on here is gonna suggest to you how to kill yourself. Please try to get help and I hope you start feeling better

[ashley]

NO! Don't kill yourself! Go back to school, keep looking for a job, DON'T LOOSE HOPE! There's always a rainbow after the rain! Just keep looking because if you kill yourself, all those people out there that thought you were a failure were right. Prove them wrong. Show them what they are missing out on.

[Guess Who]

You may not like my answer but i think you should talk to your friend of family. It is difficult to solve your problem by answering a question. You need guidance and emotional support.

[dattaraj t]

Oh God...I can understand your condition ,even i have gone through this phase ..but the solution to this is don't loose hopes ..keep on trying men..

[Ariel]

By reading your questions, you seem like an intelligent person so my response would be not to kill yourself. You do have a lot of technical knowledge, so you should be able to secure some people who are willing to learn those software you named from you. You can try giving tuition so you have some money to start with while you look for jobs. Go for small IT company, not the big ones, and ask for lesser salary than market rate. This will boast your chances as companies tend to look for people they can pay less to in entry level. If you kill yourself now, all your hard work getting all these certs would be wasted, so give yourself some time, say another year?
You have not experienced the best thing in life that is to fall in love. Wait for that to happen, if it too disappoints you, then maybe think of something drastic.
I find it morally wrong to give advice to someone about killing themselves. so I won't help you there.

[Alexis]

Hunny why would you want to kill yourself? You seem like a very intelligent person. God has a plan set out for you, he put you on Earth for a reason dear.

[Live. Laugh. Love.]

Alright. I know you think that there are no other options. But there are. You don't think your life is worth living? You are really missing out on something magnificent. God came to this earth in the form of a man to save us all, and to give us that purpose that we were meant to have, the purpose and meaning to life that every human craves. And that purpose is to have a relationship with Him. And in that relationship with Him, I can tell you from personal experience, comes fullness. Fullness in love, in joy, in peace... whatever the circumstances are around you, because you know for sure that no matter what God has got you, and you have something to hold onto. His amazing, overwhelming love for you, His creation. c:
Will you accpet His wonderful gift of salvation and live for Him, aboandoning your old life living away from the One that loves you so much that He died for you to have a relationship with Him and be with Him in glory forever?

Okay, even if you have no desire to give any sort fo thought to anything I just said, even still, go to a website called http://www.groundwire.net
Its a site where you an talk to an online coach, for free, about your ccircumstances and they can give you some words of wisdom to help get through it, as well as advice.

[Naguru]

On all these matters please act as per the dictates of your own conscience. Pl. take some drastic steps. to come out the critical situation. Pray. It does lot off wonders in life like a miracle.

If it feels wrong, you don't do it. Say exactly what you mean. Don't beat round the bush without targeting the main issue. Don't be please people. Trust your instincts. Never speak badly about your own self and your country. Inferiority complex is bad. Never give up on your dreams. Don't be afraid to say No. At the same time don't feel shy to say yes. Be kind to your own Self. Let go off what you cannot control. Stay away from dramas; and negativity as much as possible.

[Julie]

hey you know what?? u have got just one life. u should try to enjoy it to the fullest. now listen to me carefully-
first of all, i bet you will get a job in some or the other company if you try a little harder. try to impress the company people with ur technical skills. make a little better impression of urself and it will work. trust me. u will get a job. even if the job is not of a very high salary, dont worry about that . atleast you will have a job and being happy is what matters. just dont go after huge money.
secondly- you can try to give bank exam . you will SURELY clear it. then you can become bank manager or officer. it is not stressful also and also there is good money in it. so, if everything fails go for the bank exam.
now- please dont kill yourself. join some gym or other club to play some games. or go for a walk every evening. but please be a positive person and try to see the positive side of life. never think negative. BE POSITIVE AND THINK POSITIVE. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL AND NOBODY HAS A PERFECT LIFE. OK??? PLEASE YOU ARE UNIQUE PERSON AND NOBODY CAN BE YOU. RESPECT YOURSELF....LOVE YOURSELF ..AND DO ACTIVITIES WHICH YOU TRULY ENJOY FOR ATLEAST AN HOUR A DAY. GOOD LUCK!!