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Any advice on cutting ties with a family member?
01-28-2013, 03:48 AM
Post: #1
Any advice on cutting ties with a family member?
So basically I posted a status on facebook stating how these past few weeks have been difficult for me and my husband. His truck broke down, we were left with one vehicle, and had bad news about the house we were buying. I talked about how I prayed so hard things would get better, and they did. I found out I was pregnant (something my mother has been stressing about for years) & how the mortgage company approved us for a loan. I also talked about how our child will have a home to call his/her own without moving like my husband and I did as kids.

Okay so my mom is never happy for me and is always talking down on me, had been since a child. She text me saying all this stuff about the status. How i said her and my dad "dragged" me everywhere as a kid. (obviously putting words in my mouth that i did not say) about how that status "hurt" her feelings. I tried stating she was being ridiculous and basicially read into it the wrong way. She told me to shut up and never to text her again.
So I didnt text her back, but she continued to argue.

What I dont understand is, why she cant be happy for me for once in my life. what do i need to do?? I really want to protect my child from her, because she can get so ridiculous and act so immature. What do i do?? All my life she's made me feel like i'm in the wrong with everything. I'm literally thinking of just cutting ties, because this happens ALL the time.

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01-28-2013, 03:56 AM
Post: #2
 
First, take her off your Facebook postings (de friend her) and Twitter. Second, do not respond to her texts. Third, do not answer her phone calls. After a couple of days, see if you want to reopen some contact (leave her off your Facebook/Twitter). I would recommend short texts only, asking how she is. If you decide you want to draw her in and tell her all about your baby, your marriage, etc., then it's your fault if it goes bad again.

You have to start making boundaries with her now. Otherwise, she will hound you all through your pregnancy, and then when the baby comes you will hear nothing except how bad a mother you are.

It's really sad, because when we have a bad parent who doesn't love us well or correctly, we always try to keep pleasing them, hoping they're going to one day love us. And it just doesn't happen. It doesn't. Take it from me, it's not going to change. So you have to start setting boundaries and turn your attention to your own family. In your mind, move her from the "mom" position into the "acquaintance" position. You don't want to have big fights with her, but you don't have to be in constant contact with her, or do things the way she wants.

Let her be full of drama. You be an adult that is getting on with her life. You may also want to open a separate Facebook account; one for people like your Mom and family that will be yapping away with her about things on your account, and one for people that you like and want to discuss things with.

Good luck. Don't be a mother like she is.

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01-28-2013, 03:56 AM
Post: #3
 
Your mother told you:
Wash your dirty linen at home!
and I agree with her.
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