I broke up with my first girlfriend, and I am really confused! Please help? (10pts for most helpful answer)?

[dan]

I broke up with her yesterday. She is my first girlfriend. I was with her for a year and a half. The past 6 months there I have had issues and I have gotten upset with her because she is never supportive of anything, and she is rude about a lot of stuff. Then the last 2 weeks, we have been arguing a TON about stuff, and I just felt like I'm not in love with her anymore. She is not nice, and we don't agree on a lot of stuff. So yesterday I told her how I felt, and we ended it. She blocked me on facebook, twitter, probably my number and stuff. I felt really relieved when it was finally was over, I was glad. I stressed about it for like 4 or 5 months, not sure if I should break up with her. And I started not treating her like I used to. So I was happy it was finally over! I sent her a message tho, telling her I was sorry, and that I know she needs time and space to recover so I wouldn't contact her until she is ready and talks to me, but I would like to be friends. But I just have this weird urge to call her, even tho she I know doesn't want to talk to me, I told her I wouldn't contact her, and I am 99.9% sure she wouldn't answer. And I don't know what we would talk about. I want to just see how her day was, but I guess it would be bad.. I honestly want to still be friends with her, and although that usually doesn't work, I wanna try? I'm not sure what is going on in my head right now. I am sortof panicking and freaking out. I don't know why D: but should I call her? This is my first break up, so maybe I don't know what to think, and I truly don't know what to do. :/ I am 18 years old, and yeah, she was my first girlfriend. I am going away to college next year, and that was another thing we argued about, I guess the last 6 months too, because she doesn't want me to go away, and she said that she didn't want to try if i went away, and then she said she would try. I just don't know why I was happy yesterday, and up until like when I sent the message to her about wanting to be friends, i am freaking out!!??!!

[Teamwork Spirit]

This is JMHO but I think you are dealing with normal feelings of a break up from a person you cared/care about. You have dated for 1 1/2 years, there was feelings involved for you two to have dated that long. You can't just shut those feelings off like a faucet, they take time to fade. Also she was your first love, you always remember your first love, forever.

You felt relief when you broke up with her because all the fighting and stress came to an end and you have freed yourself of it. I think you still care for her and maybe in time you will become friends but the hurts have to heal first. Give her some time to heal. Don't call her, it will just make her feel worse, let her grieve and work it out for herself.

Right now she is hurt deeply and also angry at you. She feels betrayed. These are all normal. Time will eventually heal these feelings and if they don't it is because she refuses to let go of the hurt and anger. You was open, honest, and didn't rush into this. You handled it wisely and maturely. You did the best you could.