Why am i so paranoid?

[Dolly]

ever since something happened in April when i got into trouble via facebook with the police when the policeman came to the door my mum was at work and he told me why he was here and so on... i rung my mum to tell her and she came home and thought it wasnt a real policeman. but she later found out it was. evver since then i have been scared that somebody is watching me, and there are cameras watching me. i am even really scared to get dressed in my own bedroom. help please. i am a 14 year old girl. weird story i know!! but its just making me feel constantley unhappy. thanks

[Shisui]

I'm sorry. I just like watching little girls, that's all. But seriously, relax woman! Even if you are being watched there is nothing you can do so just go with the flow.

[Matt H]

Over time, our brains form what are known as cognitive biases, which determine how a person generally reacts to a combination or series of events. After a particularly stressful situation, the cognitive bias formed in a person's mind can lead to an irrational reaction and inaccurate judgement when triggered by a similar set of events.

What may be happening in your case (although it's kinda hard to say based on the information you've given in your question) is that you've subconsciously formed an irrational cognitive bias based around the traumatic/stressful events you experienced in relation to the police visit, and that's currently causing your brain to go into a heightened state of alert in a certain situation - possibly when you're alone and by yourself somewhere.

I had a short-term problem with pretty severe paranoia when I was 18 or so and I'm pretty confident that the best actions you can take to help yourself out are to:

- Talk about your feelings with close friends/family, especially during or after an attack of paranoia. Discussing it with people you trust will allow you to take an introspective look at your mind in a comfortable setting where you're unlikely to feel threatened, and listening to feedback and reassurance from other people is also important (as long as it's constructive). Try to talk to people in-person about it and not over the net/phone, if possible.

- The next time you start to feel paranoid, try your best to consider the situation in a very objective way. Question the way you're thinking and reacting. Remind yourself that it's really unlikely that anyone would go to the effort to watch someone all the time. If it was the police, they definitely wouldn't waste money on surveillance unless you were a major criminal (e.g. drug dealer, murderer etc.). If it was some sort of pervert or stalker, then you could just go and hit them over the head with a rolling pin and/or call the cops. You're smart and strong enough to confront your fears.

- Don't let fear take control. If you start getting paranoid and you can't think about it objectively, try laughing or getting angry about it instead. Don't go out of your way to avoid situations in which you think you'll get paranoid (within reason, obviously don't go walking around the streets at 1am or anything like that). As with most phobias, often the most effective way to cure an irrational fear of something is to face it head on.

As a last resort, if none of this advice helps at all and you don't seem to be gaining control over your paranoia, go and speak to your doctor about it and get professional help. It's nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about, and it's definitely not something you want to grow up with and keep in your adult life.