please help me revise this paragraph?

[Idontknow]

just grammatical stuff and any advice to make it better!

One could say that I was the average child. I loved animals, art, dancing, and dressing up. Nonetheless, time went on and more awkward family gatherings occurred with relatives inquiring about my future. It was difficult to put a label on what I wanted to be because I wanted to do it all. However, in high school, I found it particularly enjoyable to meet new people and build relationships. Having moved to a different area right before my sophomore year, I was nervous but had plenty of chances to talk to strangers and gauge what life would be like. It was during this year that I really began to show my true self and with much research, decided that media, culture and communications was what I wished to pursue at university. Originally, my interest in people and the human mind stemmed from my AP Psychology class of junior year. Moreover, I plan to supplement my education with a minor in psychology to further my interest. While exploring the NYU Steinhardt website, the undergraduate course, “Psychoanalysis: Desire and Culture” caught my eye. Reading the description, I was immediately captivated. I want to utilize the knowledge I gather and apply it in a new, international environment. Studying abroad has been a dream of mine and while I have not yet chosen a destination, my time at university would not be complete without truly being on my own. I look forward to experiencing a new culture and branching out into diverse global and social systems.
it was written for admissions officers at nyu.. lol
its my answer to what are your academic interests?
thanks for the help!

[Mamie]

This is quite good, although it would help if you told us why you have written it and who is the intended audience.

* Remove the first 4 words - "one could say that." Begin with "I was an average child." It's much more forceful.

* There are a couple of commas out of place, but it's not really worth changing them.

* Make it 2 paragraphs. Begin the 2nd 'graf at "Originally, my interest in people..." (It's easier to read if it's 2 paragraphs.)

[Niqueie]

Here's what I've got:

One could say that I was the average child. I loved animals, art, dancing, and dressing up. So eventually, when the time came to attend awkward family gatherings, it was difficult to answer their inquiries about my future. I couldn’t quite put a label on what I wanted to be, because I wanted to do it all. However, in high school, I found it particularly enjoyable to meet new people and build relationships. Having moved to a different area right before my sophomore year, I was nervous but had plenty of chances to talk to strangers and gauge what life would be like. It was during this year that I really began to show my true self and with much research, decided that media, culture and communications was what I wished to pursue at university.
Originally, my interest in people and the human mind stemmed from my AP Psychology class of junior year. Afterwards, I planned to supplement my education with a minor in psychology to further my interest. Then one day, while exploring the NYU Steinhardt website, the undergraduate course “Psychoanalysis: Desire and Culture” caught my eye. After reading the description, I was immediately captivated. I wanted to utilize the knowledge I gathered and apply it to a new, international environment. Studying abroad has been a dream of mine and while I have not yet chosen a destination, my time at university would not be complete without truly being on my own. I look forward to experiencing a new culture and branching out into diverse global and social systems.

You are very good at writing, by the way.