Does life get better after a break up?

[king]

We dated for four years and he was a nightmare. He abused me in every form possible from emotional, to verbal, and physically hitting me or shoving my down stairs, to even kicking me while I was on the floor. Our relationship was always his way. I wasn't allowed to leave the house, wear any light color clothing, or any makeup and I wasn't allowed to have a Facebook or any social media. In the duration of our relationship I've only met two of his friends in the beginning of when we began dating. I lost so much hair and weight that now I'm showing signs of balding and weigh 84 pounds. I broke up with him a month ago because I couldn't deal with his abuse. While I lost all my friends due to him, he went out and partied all night. He lied about where he was and what he was doing. He met up with ex girlfriends and argued with me over the most ridiculous things. I can't stand him and I can't help but hope that he will be miserable in his life.

I know there are SO many people out there much better then him. He thinks he is above everyone for reasons I have yet to find out. I know I'm not going back to him though being with someone for four years is a long time. I know being without him is for the best but I still need help getting over him.

Do you have advice on coping with a break up or stories of your abuser and your success story? I'd love to hear some motivation right now
I'm 20 and he's 21 btw

[missingora]

I don't see how your life could get much worse than staying with him. I'm sure you'll have a hard time for awhile but when you can let go of him and stop wishing he will be miserable, your life will get much better. Let Karma take care of him! And it will!! Take your time before you even try another relationship. Get a job. Get a hobby. Have fun. Rest. Relax. You are very young nd have plenty of time to find someone. Take it slow and easy!!

[Kasey H]

First thing you should do is Not to let the fear of being alone get to you.It is going to take a lot of time before life gets better or you can meet the man of your dreams this evening.K

[Dawgwest65]

Whatever you do, have no contact ever again with this p.o.s. You need 'me time' right now. For the next couple of months work on yourself, get your health back, learn to enjoy life again. Go off the grid if you have to (no contact with anyone for a while), get a pet. After a couple of months, start mending fences with your friends. Your true friends will be there for you. Hold off on relationships until YOU feel ready.

You're 20 years old, you have a lifetime ahead of you. There's so much for you to experience yet. And yes, life will get better.

May you have a Merry Christmas and good luck.

[military mom]

First, let me say im so very proud of you for being brave enough to leave. You are me, 28years ago. Im happy and healthy and trust me, life is good now. although our stories have many different parts, we also have so much in common. Get counseling as soon as you can. it will help in ways you can not imagine! if you can not afford counseling on your own, i would call your local child and family services, ask to speak with a counselor, tell them your story and ask where you can get help with counseling. there is much more help out there to help you rebuild your self esteem, your weight and your overall emotional, mental and physical health. it is not easy, but it is so do-able. and i promise you this, you have already done the hardest thing, you left. keep yourself safe and dont talk to him. its just not worth risking all you will gain with the strength you have found. God bless you. Be careful.

[Dolphinmarine]

Wow sweetie, 16 is very young to get trapped into abused, lose your sense of identity, lose contact with everything and everyone only bc he fears, he is so.insecure that You will find someone better or that You will realize You are smarter than him, better than him, an asset, he keeps You down, keeps your self esteem low so that You wont ever get the courage to leave him, no makes You actually convince yourself, he is the best You can do, your not worthy and no good man Could ever love a loser like You
Yea i Had a husband like that, almost killed me, and I Got out!! I Got divorced, and i aint gonna lie, it is not a work for the faint of heart, You will be a survivor, and if You pull this off, You will become one incredibly strong, compassionate, independent, intelligent, loving, gentle yet couragous, kind and sweet yet firm and never never never allow anyone to belitltle You, Call You names, touch in a harmful way!!!

This Now is a journey for You, it can be long, it can be Quicksilver, it just all depends on how fast your mind has become a sound mind, the mind of Christ and how quickly You let him put You together, hold your head high, You are amazing and You Got your whole life Now and Now it will be a joyful, fullfillung, spiritual, loving sucfessful life
First thing first, get to church, talk about it, find suppirt groups, and get a job, advertise your skills, get a good job and begin getting back out there, it will be hard, just keep pressimg on, the rest will come to You ateo By step
Let your sisters in Christ confort You, seek godly council, wisdom from God fearing women!!! Talk about it in suport groups, You may be givinh another girl hope!!
Believe in yourself
Your life Does get better, You will be amazed at how fullfilling life was made to be!!!!