how to improve self esteem?

[-x-emrose-x-]

Im beginning to think this is becoming a real problem. I constantly feel like I'm not good enough with myself let alone for my boyfriend. I hate my weight and personality. I don't feel like i fit in at all whena couple of weeks ago i was really happy and felt not as bad as this. Now my boyfriend tells me he is seeing a girl who apparently is a friend and posts how good it is to talk to her on twitter and now im jealous. I mean what the hell I don't get jealous. I don't know if i feel this way because we broke up about a month ago but got back together after 3 weeks. I really don't know what to do because I'm taking it out on my boyfriend as a result and to be honest all i want to do right now is harm myself again. Has anyone got any advice? I really do not know what to do

[CryCryCry]

Lose weight.

[Stephy B.]

You have to stop relying on your boyfriend to make you happy and learn to love yourself instead. That is where the real problem lays, as you cannot love anyone unless you love yourself first. Accept who you are as a person. If weight is actually a huge issue for you, talk to a doctor and go on a diet as well as start exercising. Not only will that make you happier, but you will feel better about your body too.

[Ollie Barbor]

Cut out unhealthy foods.
Do more sports activities.
Gain better self control.

[Heather]

LOVE YOURSELF! That is the place to start. Send love and positivity to yourself daily.

http://www.penneypeirce.com/ << if you're into this stuff, this book can be life changing. You've gotta go into it open minded though.

[Barry]

Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as: (free) http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (no flexibility required) on page L at your-mental-health.8m.com, below. Qi Gong, Tai Chi, or regular yoga suits others better. They will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly, and can also help you become a person who is less influenced by the words and behaviour of others. Learn them at least a few hours apart, and preferably on different days, in the morning, or early afternoon. Use the one you find most effective. A minimum of 10 mns is recommended; 15 is better, and 20 is ideally preferred.Learn them at least a few hours apart, and preferably on different days, in the morning, or early afternoon.

Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. Use the searchbar at http://www.tapping.com (13 free videos) Professional is best. - There is a version for use in public places, (if you want to, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I currently have low self esteem, I deeply and completely accept myself." I have recently encountered the opinion that, just as it is important to build a house on a solid foundation, so it is with self esteem. Learn to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, and failures, or inadequacies. Accept that you, too are just a human being, with the frailties, insecurities, and tendency to err, occasionally, that the rest of us have. That is the beginning of self love, self acceptance, and self esteem. Regularly monitor your internal monologue (self talk): write down the negative ones: "I'm really ugly" and then the converse: "I'm fairly good looking", and next time you become aware that you are thinking the former, visualise, as vividly as possible, a big "STOP!!!" sign, and/or a stern faced person wagging a finger at you, and deliberately repeat 5 times, either aloud, in a big voice, if alone, or subvocally (to yourself, in your mind), the converse affirmation.

Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Volunteer, even from home, at first, to provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I... (insert activity here).." Google: "volunteer from home" More details about volunteering are on page B at 8m.com. Make a list of all your good points, strengths, and achievements. Put it somewhere so you can easily refer to it, from time to time; perhaps on the refrigerator door, or print it; (large typeface, or capitalise) have it framed, and place in your bedroom, or in a position of prominence, such as on the television, or lounge room wall.

See http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_25.html about self esteem.

[Jonathan]

Shots.