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Should I try and get her back, or forget her and move on?
02-14-2013, 05:18 PM
Post: #1
Should I try and get her back, or forget her and move on?
Me and my ex-girlfriend were together less than two weeks, (had we not broke up yesterday we would have been together two weeks today), we're both 15 (please forget about the age)).

Last Friday there was a lot of tension between us over an argument she had with her sister and she felt I didn't care and she had expected me to defend her (I didn't see what happened however). Over the weekend we barely spoke when I tried to talk to her she was clearly angry with me. On Monday she invited me over and things were better, but still a little icy she actually went to sleep for two hours. That might sound shockingly rude to others and I almost feel that way, but she has paraplegia and has difficulty with seizures (I've seen some of them and they are heartbreaking). I also suspect she has issues with depression, however she is adamant she won't go to a counsellor because it has never worked before. She seemed to be so angry with me on Friday, Saturday and Sunday that I wondered if I should break up with her. Then she invited me round again on Monday.
For most of this week she seems to take offense at everything I've done, some of it she has a slight point, others I feel she is just using me because she doubts I'll walk away. For example, on Monday while she was asleep her dad discovered her sleeping and we spoke for a while. I told him how unhappy she seemed and he agreed she hasn't been properly happy for a while. She was angry about this, because she told me the next day she didn't want me discussing her with her dad, I can slightly understand this.

On Tuesday, I went from being the person she was angry with, to the person she could use in jokes. Her and her friend half jokingly made comments about how weak I was. The next day we spoke over twitter about how our relationship was becoming a joke (she brought this up btw).
We told eachother the things that made us angry about eachother, I mentioned that I was annoyed that she had called me weak, she said that if I tell her I don't want something said she won't say it.
On Thursday yesterday something happened that really made me angry. She and her friend were talking and she again said how weak I was, "he's only as strong as me, and I'm not very strong". What I said next I did not say insultingly, but I guess I should have known better. I said that she was strong because she uses her arms everyday. She said "You better stfu about my wheelchair right now". We discussed this later and I told her I was sorry, but she never seemed to mind when her friend mentioned her wheelchair in conversations, she then told me that "that's because she doesn't know me properly - you do." We broke up later today when I asked her why every little thing I did seemed to make her angry (It wasn't about what I said about her arms because I understand she had a right to be angry, but it was about how if I ask her to explain something because I didn't understand what she said the first time she is just like "forget it" and angry.)

In all honesty I don't know what I should do. Our first week of being together was beautiful, the only thing that hurt me was seeing her seizures and how sad she would be. Her seizures stopped near the end of the week presumably because she was taking her medication properly (she had forgotten at the beginning of the week). I have wondered if perhaps her medication is what is making her angry but to be honest, It is better for her to be angry with me and still be ok rather than caring about me and having her seizures. Yesterday we both broke up at the same time, our conversation paused and then I told her that we should end things, to find she had just sent the same message.
We didn't speak today.

I don't know if I should make myself more approachable to her or forget her.
I have thought that the emotional pain of being back with her would be too much; she probably wouldn't become nice again - I'm doubtful she would ever stop being angry with me or show me many signs that she loved me back, I would see having seizures and I would know how depressed she is and seeing and knowing all that hurts me so much. When I've asked her how she can make me happier she just tells me that she'd be happier by not existing Sad, that hurts too.
But at the same time I feel I "love" her (if teenagers can love), when she's kind to me she makes me happy, and she is only person I feel I've connected with like this (we had a previous "relationship" a few years ago which I felt the same in, our break up then was similar.

So which should I choose - attempt to get back with her or forget her and move on.
Please tell me your opinion and if you could please give a reason why.

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02-14-2013, 05:26 PM
Post: #2
 
It depends on who broke up. If you broke up with her (and want her back now), then you should approach her somehow, apologize deeply, and ask for another chance. But make sure you aren't going to do the same mistake as last time.
If she was the one who broke up with you, there's a small chance she wants you back. She obviously did it for a reason, and you trying to get her back when you weren't the one who broke up, will make you seem desperate and will only drive her away even more. I suggest give her space in this condition.

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