If My partner is on a dating site, more than 1 is that cheating?

[Susannah]

My partner is on plentyoffish and punk match, even my partner says just looking for friends, but its a dating websites, is that still cheating?

[Samantha Cole]

Yes!! Tell him to look for friends elsewhere!!

[Excessiveguitar528]

its a step next to cheating. being on those sites, he'll eventually exchange numbers with them & may even meet up in person. that's when the actual cheating will probably begin.

[Alan]

Yes, he is looking for an 'upgrade'.

[AnnieAustin]

I don't know if your partner is a man or a woman so I will just refer to "he" in my answer.

He'd probably call it "keeping his options open". If he is on dating sites then he intends to get in touch with other people. What he does when he gets in touch with them is the crux of the matter.

Is he just window-shopping? I must admit I've *looked* at dating sites in the past, but purely through curiosity. I can appreciate an attractive bloke as much as blokes appreciate attractive women. The difference is that I would never sign up or try to make contact with one of these men.

If he has made contact with any people, what has followed? Has he sent flirty or sexy messages, or just chatted with them? If he's just chatting, does he feel there are things that he can't open up about to you, his partner?

Does he have many friends in the real world or are most of his friends online? If online, he may purely see this as way of extending his friendship group (and therefore his Facebook friends list and his Twitter following if applicable).

I would consider it cheating if he has been in contact with any of these people for sexual purposes, whether purely online, by text message, on the phone or in person.

He obviously knows that you know he's on these sites. How long have you been together? If you have only been seeing eachother for a matter of weeks he may be looking for his next conquest. If you've been together ages he may be a little bored - don't be offended, it happens on both sides and can be sorted in a variety of different ways (there's plenty of websites to help you with making your relationship more exciting, and not just in a sexual way).

At the end of the day, people will always meet other people on the internet and flirt - be it through Facebook, World of Warcraft, forums for their favourite bands or dating sites. It's what he actually *does* with those people he meets that makes the difference.

Are you entirely happy in the relationship? If not, you could use his membership of these sites as a good reason to get out while still making it his fault (believe me, this makes a difference!).

I personally would not be happy if my boyfriend was on dating sites, but then I know he uses porn on the internet and makes contact with porn models. I can't stop that, but I do try not to think about it. We have a pretty good relationship so I ignore it (just like you ignore those niggly things that partners do which really annoy you).

[Natasha]

I think that it gives him plenty of opportunity to cheat.. However, just being on the site itself isn't cheating as such. I have been on a dating site myself (to find someone to date) and there are people on the sites who are just looking for friends. It isn't that common though and if I was you I would talk to your partner or suggest other ways to make friends, as it is just going to make you feel insecure and worried.

[christine stott]

Guys on dating sites are so outnumbered that the chance of him even hooking up with someone is so remote it is almost not possible.

keep an eye on him and it seems like he is open with you about the sites, when he does make new friends ask if you can come along.

There are a lot of couples on these sites for various reasons know only to themselves.

[woo hoo! yeah!!]

oh dear, thats what he would say, my ex was on numerous dating sites and he always had a 'good reason' why he was on them....one time I even read emails from a site called f**kbook, it was ridiculous.

dont put up with it

[Emerson]

Yes i recently found my bf on one,we have now split up,i dont trust him and know not many women will put up with his discusting ways anyway