I'm a depressed teen girl. Advice please? Please read this I know It's long ..?

[Alexandra]

I'm going to be almost 16 on Valentine's day and just lately and past months I've been feeling kind of depressed. My dad wants a divorce from my mom, even though my mom doesn't want it, my dad is trying to get one soon as possible. He got his own apartment but still sees me everyday and i live with my mom alone in the house (my parents have been married for 31 years) and my 2 older brothers dont live far from me but i barely get to see them so it's just me alone. My mom is really strict. I'm not aloud to have a phone, ipod, or labtop because I need "supervision" cus she doesnt trust the music today and media and internet. I don;t look at anything bad. Never looked at porn cus i know that's wrong and disgusting . I only look at health sites, makeup, facebook, and fashion, etc so she should trust me and i told her but she stil wont change her mind. Im not aloud to go anywhere unless she supervises or gets to know the parents of my friends...My dad has his boundaries but lets me go with friends as long as he knows where i am and he allows me to have a phone, etc. So bascially I really have no social life. Eveen if i was aloud to have one if my mom let me none of my friends would invite me anywhere. I really have no friends. all my friends say im quiet and shy but nice but they probably think im boring that's why they dont interract with me much. I am good friends with this one guy that i liked for 2 years and counting but just found out he doesnt like me back because he has a girlfriend that he's been going out with for like 2 years. He's 15 about to turn 16 also. He only loves me as his best friend. This put down my self esteem cus now i feel no guy is interested me for w.e. reason..if im awkward, quiet, or w.e. No guy has ever asked me out and ive never been kissed. I'm just worried that I will never meet a guy and i feel so stupid having high hopes on my guy frriend that i really liked who turned out to have a gf. Im just a loser on facebook and internet all day long seeing pictures of friends together and all these couples and it makes me feel likes crap. I feel like im just crap and not good enough and feel so lonely. I dont have much family. This christmas was all right and im thankful my family is healthy and alive and i got nice gifts but im sad at the same time because my family is so separated. Everybody goes their separate ways and theres not much unity and communication and i just feel awkward and alone. Im used to be alone and having my own company but after a while it gets old and i start getting depressed. I feel like such a loser I know i shouldnt complain cus i do have a house over my head, food, clothes,all of my family members are alive well except my grandmother who died 3 years ago :/ but I just feel my life is crap right now and ive even gotten thoughts like what is the meaning of life and even thoughts of suicide but i know i would never attempt that. I would never committ suicide but ive gotten thoughts of it at times...have u guys been in my situation? advice? divorce is not easy and being lonely and feeling like ill never meet a guy is no fun either. I know Im still young but i just feel likes ill be forever alone cus im so awkward and I dont know to have conversations with people..:/
I apologize if this is super duper long but if you have read a book you can read this long paragraph so please read and answer I would appreciate it.
I have talked to my mom many times about being more trustful about a phone , etc but she wont change her mind. and My dad disciplines me and doesnt act like my "friend" he acts like a father but is more understanding and not crazy strict like my mom. I can neevr conviince my mom and the thing is i would never want to invite company over cus my moms house is just nasty and full of roaches and my mom doesnt believe in detergents and convetional cleaning products cus she thinks its bad for you (shes a vegan vegetarian whos very cautious of her health and chemicals) and my family is just awkward which is why i would never invite any friend over

[Katie]

Alrighty, let's start at the beginning. Have you thought about asking your father if you could stay with him? That way you could be more social and have a little more freedom. Any parental separation is hard, of course. But you have to remember that things do get better. Since you feel like your friends won't invite you to hang out try having friends over. Invite them yourself. Watch a movie or play some board games, talk about boys, paint each other's fingernails. Do whatever you like to do. If you have it at your place your mom will probably feel more secure because she knows exactly where you are, what you're doing, who you're with. Keep your chin up! Everything is hard at that age, I promise, but if I lived through it you can too.

[Daisy]

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I just want you to know that once you graduate high school you will be able to go to college and dorm there. So you have that to look forward to just hold on for 3 more years and you'll be able to interact with more people and talk to guys who go to your college and enjoy life. As for now just deal with it the best you can and don't give up cuz I'm sure you will be able to enjoy life to the fullest in 3 more years

[Julie]

My mom was a prositute and my dad was a drug dealer in and out of jail. My mother dump me 5 to a step family who got a divorcee FML moment. I was rape at 14 for having a social life and trusting stupid people. Whoopy for me. I have been depressed for some time. Until recently. Dont worry about a boy your still young. Even threw all that im attending college and making my life better! I am happy now. Time will come. God wouldnt put you threw something he knew you couldnt handle. I know its not easy being a teenage girl. I was kick out at 17 too. Here I am atronger then ever! Be strong and keep your head up if I can you can too. I pray for you. The older you get the more you see why things happen. I too had suicide thoughts. I was once an almost OD I think I ment for things in life. You are too. Please please atay up and postive.

[Sasha H]

ah I understand I'm sorry to hear about the divorce but at least you still get to see your dad and brothers and your mum lets you. Your mum is probably strict because she loves you and doesnt want you to fall into a bad crowd or a bad situation you just need to have a chat with her about her being ovet defensive be tactful of course but she loves you and just wants the best for you. Your friends must love you for you otherwise whats the point of being friends with them? This boy don't hanker after him just be sad and move on there is the right guy for you somewhere just be patient you're only 15 you have plenty of time to think about relationships. I'm sorry to hear about your nan it's hard to loose a loved one you must grieve over her. I know how it is to be suicidal but please dont do it what a waste of a young life one day youll be happy and youll look back and be so glad you didnt go through with it. You sound like such a nice misunderstood girl I'd like to be you're friend.:-)

[jamie]

You have to remember that no matter how bad you think your life is, there is someone who has it worse. You're lucky to realize that what you already have is better than nothing. Don't worry, though. You will eventually get happier. As for your parents, maybe you can remind them of why they married or tell them funny and memorable stories of when you were all together. Hope i helped.

[?]

I think alot of it is the tight leash your paps has you on. What about your mom?? How well do you and her get along and would she be more leinient of letting you go out more?? If yes maybe ask to stay with her on a weekend or somethint an plan to do something fun with friends.. guys usually are more likely to notice a girl when she's with a group of friends because then as a guy it's like "oh wowo look at the red head next to the blond" Are you a nice girl? Do you smile not at every guy but at the one's ur interested in?? Do you say hi? Saying hi's always good cause as a guy it makes me feel like i don't have to "make the first move" Try all of these things and Pray: I've asked God to help me find the woman in my life that i'm meant to be with.. it hasn't haend yet but i'm beliving it will and so do you. Please Answer mine

[elizabeth]

i am pretty much exactly like you im almost 15 and two years ago my parents got a divorce and ive been depressed for a while also i dont have a phone ipod or laptop either but because my mom oesnt have the money and im quiet and shy also so i only have one friend ive never had a boyfriend in my life ive never been kssed either so we have alot in common and my dad lives in Oklahoma I live in Texas with my mom and i live in a motel and everything so your not the only one feeling depressed and alone. If you want i have a facebook and if you want to know my facebook name email me at libbyhopkins@yahoo.com

[Morgan]

I know divorces are hard to go through. I was 3 when my parents got a divorce, but I do remember it. It takes a while to accept it, but you do somehow allow yourself too. I had the same problem with my mom being strict, but it helped when I talked to her about why she was that way towards me. My father always tries to be a friend more than a father and it doesn't really make you feel any better. Talking to them would be a great idea. The boy situation, if it's meant to be then it will be. I'm only 16 as well. I was with a guy for 3 years and walked in to surprise him one day and he was with another girl making out. This guy was my best friend as well, but just because one guy doesn't like you, doesn't mean you should give up hope. I've been to 4 different high schools alone, finding friends can be difficult, but put yourself out there. Get involved. If there is something you like to do then go do it. For me it was music, and that's where I found the most amazing people. Sometimes being awkward can surprise you in ways you wouldn't expect. Involve yourself in conversations with your friends, lunch, etc. As a side note, maybe consider talking to your parents about counseling to cope with your depression and their divorce. I hope I helped! Keep your head up and just talk to them.

[Liza]

Hi Alexandra,

You remind me a lot of myself. I've always been considered "shy" and "boring" by most of my friends. Unfortunately, many teens our age believe that anyone who is introverted or doesn't go out all the time must be a bore. Being a generally quiet person is just a part of your personality and it is not a flaw. You are not a bore. You may feel awkward talking in person, but you seem to be able to express yourself well when you write.

In addition, being awkward doesn't mean you'll be alone forever. There are a lot of quiet guys who would understand what you're saying and even consider your awkwardness as cute. I had never been kissed until two months ago, and I'll be 17 soon. Don't give up hope.

It's perfectly understandable to be depressed right now with regards to the divorce and your feeling alone. Yes, there are people who may not have a lot right now, but they are not going through the same things you are. I would suggest talking to someone if your suicidal thoughts persist, like your school counselor. You may not go through with it now, but it is important to try and help the thoughts before they turn into actions.

Looks like I wrote a lot too. I hope some of this helps!