Leaving an anusive relationship?

[king]

We dated for four years and he was a nightmare. He abused me in every form possible from emotional, to verbal, and physically hitting me or shoving my down stairs, to even kicking me while I was on the floor. Our relationship was always his way. I wasn't allowed to leave the house, wear any light color clothing, or any makeup and I wasn't allowed to have a Facebook or any social media. In the duration of our relationship I've only met two of his friends in the beginning of when we began dating. I lost so much hair and weight that now I'm showing signs of balding and weigh 84 pounds. I broke up with him a month ago because I couldn't deal with his abuse. While I lost all my friends due to him, he went out and partied all night. He lied about where he was and what he was doing. He met up with ex girlfriends and argued with me over the most ridiculous things. I can't stand him and I can't help but hope that he will be miserable in his life.

I know there are SO many people out there much better then him. He thinks he is above everyone for reasons I have yet to find out. I know I'm not going back to him though being with someone for four years is a long time. I know being without him is for the best but I still need help getting over him.

Do you have advice on coping with a break up or stories of your abuser and your success story? I'd love to hear some motivation right now
I'm 20 and he's 21

[iyamacog]

Stop thinking of all the great times. Don;t frequent the ole haunts. Toss the memorabilia....and ANYTHING that tends to bring fond thoughts of him.....Think of WHY you left him. Be strong for YOU, rely on YOU. Your motivation is YOU! You're young. You have a full life ahead of you. Make your 2013 resolution NOW....AND keep it strong in your head!......♥♥

[Srikkk]

Leave him as soon as possible.

[Srikkk]

My guy is 30 I'm 22 he was emotionally and verbally abusive.but he never went as far as hitting me.after our break up I completely ignored him and it was as if he was going to die because I did that.he went crazy because I was too quiet.although I was done and never wanted himback I still had feelings because we were together for long nad even moved in together.but everytime I was going to think about him I wrote down all the bad things he did and reread it.so I could see how much of a asshole he was with me and then I will forget about him.

[BrieBrie]

I think that a few things could really help you right now. You can't do something like this alone. It's damn near impossible to be honest. What I want you to do, and what matters most is that you start to work on rebuilding relationships with those loved ones that you may have been kept from. You are going to need a support system. Be very careful about how much you divulge at first. There are people who are going to stir the pot of you give them ample ammunition. Remember that. Go to a trusted family member when you're ready to talk about your actual experiences. Friends are great, but loyalty among friends isn't generally as strong as with family. So yes, relationships first.

Next, I want you to start indulging in a few good meals alright? You have suffered too long. Think about your favorite "before him": food. Something that you always liked to eat, be it pizza or fillet mignon. Treat yourself once every week or other week. Drink water, take vitamins, whatever you can do to start improving your inner health. Oh, and a try some meditation, and a self-defense class if you can.

Now, the outer health. Go get a haircut or a blowout or something that will make you feel good. Buy some makeup or visit the MAC counter (or something similar) and get a free makeover. I think it's really important to make yourself feel good. You are not broken, you are strong. Continue to be strong.

I'm really proud of you for being strong enough to leave. Too many women stay quiet until they are permanently injured or found dead. You made it out. Things are going to be so fresh for a long time. I mean you're only a month in to this long process of healing. You are still so young and you have so much life to live. I really do wish you the best of luck and good job. I was honestly happy to read that you made it out. No relapsing okay? You're way too special and important to go back!

[Rahul]

a man knows how to treat his woman.he wasn't the rite one get over it infact be glad it happened now than never....there are plenty of men waiting out there to find a great women am sure u would find one...and by the way those 4yrs shudnt matter if he didn't treat u rite it was for your best it got ended..all the best !!