New concept what do you think?

[paderangi]

Leopold Romani
Age: 38 years old
Fears: failure, rejection, death without legacy
Strengths: Confident, brilliant scientist, natural-born winner, promising future
Weaknesses: Arrogant, slave to personal hubris, workaholic, can be mean at times.
Appearance: Brown hair, strong jawline, olive skin, tall, handsome, greying at the sides
Occupation: Part of the 53rd Corsa Nero Italian space exploration program
Year: 2359 AD

Concept:
Light travel has been invented and a global race to find alien life (Plants exist. Humans have known about extraterrestrial life for quite some time but intelligent beings have proved elusive) has been ongoing for the past 100 years to no avail. Major corporations are funding the race because space travel has become so cheap and patents are being signed on valuable, mineral-rich planets. The more abundant the planet, the better off the corporations which in turn means better off research programs.

Leopold Romani is a single, lead geographical research scientist sent to map out a newly discovered, Earth-like planet (Deo-Arsen) rumored to have an abundance of Cironum, a super fuel that has replaced petroleum back on Earth. Weeks ago, Leopold was sent a garbled message with strange symbols that was almost legible in English from Deo-Arsen. Four other planets were queued by his employers but Leopold made sure to sneakily push his own biased agenda in search of the answer to his mysterious message. This might be the discovery that sends him to the top of his field. His name. His legacy.

Two months pass and the Deo-Arsen expedition is underway. They arrive on the snowy planet to discover that even though the planet can support life, the environment is still unforgiving. Sheets of ice and rock cover the terrain in a landscape reminiscent to man’s first footsteps into the Arctic jungles. However, that’s what Deo-Arsen is – an Arctic jungle. There are vast forests of frozen trees that are trapped in three-inch thick casings of ice. The green of their leaves shows through the glassy layer of frost in a perturbing way; there shouldn’t be leaves. They should have all died out before the winter seasons but apparently that’s not the case.

For the sake of the SS Nuvolari (their spaceship), Leopold orders the ship to ‘root’ (claw-like mechanism that dig deep into the terrain and steady the ship). They use the Nuvolari as the base camp until they can find anything better. Scanners run 24/7 for resources while Leopold takes miniature journeys throughout the depths of the natural cave systems for more insidious reasons. After three months of coming up empty-handed of any intelligent alien life (but plenty of Cironum being excavated), Leopold blames the garbled message on over-worked nerves… that is until he receives yet another message. More English -- this time, clearer than the others.


If this interests you, check out my WattPad and take a look at the first installment in the Pleas of Demeter Trilogy. http://www.wattpad.com/10790021-to-peppe...of-demeter
Remember to comment and vote!!!

Best wishes
~Payam

[Lily]

dont tell me wat 2 d0

[Jane]

dont tell me wat 2 d0

[Pamela K]

sounds very good.

i like your writing. when i clicked on your story it did not seem to be the same as it was on here. I had no idea what you were talking about at first. i was confused for a long while as you kept going from Rich and Kian to some very long descriptions. Be mindful of that, as well as a few grammar and punctuation problems.

i would have commented on there or voted but i do not have facebook or twitter and i never will.

keep up the good work you are very creative and talented. thank you for sharing i hope you get published soon as i really want to read this