How do you talk to a girl you barely know with out coming on to strong?

[William]

So, there is this girl in a show im doing, we have spoke once on Facebook and a little in person but only really about the show and performing arts. I message her every now and again but don't get a reply. I want to speak to her in person but just don't have the guts because i feel really self conscious. I have been told that sometimes i come on to strong and move to quick but i really don't see how. I talk on Facebook sometimes but when someone doesn't reply it annoys me and then i feel like messaging them another time to see if they do reply. So i was just wondering if any one knows how to talk to a girl you barely know without coming on to strong?

[Bistro Didi]

Listen, to get anywhere with a girl, you need to speak to them in person. A girl is not going to be impressed by a Facebook ask-out...that's baby stuff! If you see a nice girl going out with an idiot its because the idiot had the guts to ask her out and entertains her. Be that guy! Otherwise you will be useless in the dating game. Girls can't be bothered by someone who emails, pokes or texts for dates. It's dull. Sorry, just trying to help you. Don't ever worry about coming on too strong. If a girl is offended...that's coming on too strong if she's really not interested...otherwise it's called flattery!

I'm a girl!

[AKing]

Alright bro, I'll stretch a hand out to you. I know how you feel cause I've been in your shoes before; trust me, it sucks. not knowing if they got your message, or whether they just don't respond... Anyways, think about it objectively, if you got a random message from your grandma, would you answer it? Yeah, but kinda halfheartedly while you're looking at hot girls in bikinis or whatever you do on Facebook. Eventually the conversation fizzles out, but four days later she messages you again. Same thing. Next time she messages you, you probably ignore it, or sign off immediately to make it seem like you were just about to sign off anyways. Now, that's pretty much the way a girl reacts to pretty much any guy on facebook, let alone the fact that she doesn't really know you. Girls classify "know" differently than we do; "know" for them, means that either she likes you, is BFF's with you, or hates you. (Teen girls mind you) So the way you message needs to change, check.

Now, lose the self consciousness; I know, I know, sounds like a drag, huh? Well, it's as hard as it sounds; the only way to lose self-consciousness is to go and talk to a bunch of girls, even if it's just asking them for an assignment; ask them a question and have a couple non-intrusive, light-hearted follow-up questions and stick a few jokes here and there about some kid you mutually hate, and you're good to go.

First step: Find a girl who you wouldn't really go out with, but is around a six or a seven and start talking to her, maybe get her number for help in a subject and just text her a couple times. Now, do this seven to infinity times and you're ready for the next step. The reason for talking to so many girls and getting their number is that it will become near second nature to determine what to say in which situation, so by the time you get to the girl that you actually like, you can get her number without coming off as weak.

Second step: Depending on how much you like the girl, you can take one of two paths. If she's just one of a couple girls that you like, then just chat her up, giving her plenty of flattery and crack tons of jokes; after this, she'll be ready for you to actually start to move your relationship to the next level. However, if she's your high school sweetheart, just take things slowly, good characteristics become more appealing if they are discovered rather than having them thrust upon you.

Third step: If you chose the first option, then you ask a friend with a girlfriend, or just some guys and some girls you know to the movies, and invite the girl that you wan to make your girlfriend. Best to pick people she doesn't know too well so she sticks with you the entire time. After the group date, work in some beyond friendly physical contact, and say goodnight. about one to two days later, text her again, and the next weekend, make a date for just the two of you, and from there, it's in your hands.
If you chose the second option, this is where it becomes rough. Once you have established a solid friendship, just above acquaintances, you talk to her as much as possible, just say hi and exchange a couple light words, and move on with your day; now, go back to step two, option one, and get a girlfriend, or some relationship. Now, it's easier if your sweetheart has a boyfriend, but if not, play it a little more cautiously. Just say that you aren't sure who to ask, and just ask her what to do with your relationship problems; if you don't have any, just exaggerate some minor flaws and ask her what you should do. Try to make it seem like the only option is breaking up, and then kinda draw her into trying to dissuade you from the relationship over the course of a couple days, and then give in. This event will bring you closer together, and then just say that you owe her one, and that she's a pretty cool girl. From there, just strengthen your friendship as much as possible; trust me, if you play it right, becoming her best friend, she'll fall for you without you having to wheedle at her for weeks, killing your popularity.

Why option two step three works: You have established a bond of trust between the two of you, and as soon as she shares her problems with you, you're in. Just keep becoming better friends. As she gets to know you more, she'll see your good qualities, and if you keep it up with the other girls once in a while, she'll see that you're capable of getting a woman (be very selective, and let her know that you are), and she'll immediately want to be one of the few selected. Once she breaks up with her boyfriend if she has one, you'll see a difference in the way she acts around you, at which point you can express your feelings which she will reciprocate.

Sorry for the essay, but your question was PRETTY broad, hope this helped!