Is it fair to ask my wife to unfriend a past sexual partner on facebook?

[mravis]

My wife and I have been married for 20 years. Before being married we dated for about 5 years. In the middle of those 5 years we broke up for about one year. During that breakup time, we both dated others. My wife had a 2-night sexual fling with an old school mate. They didnt date, it was only a "two-night stand".

I noticed that this guy is one of my wife's MANY Facebook friends, and it bothers me. I know it was a long time ago and she does know him from school days, but it wasnt like she was really friends with him. The main connection they have is that they had sex. I dont see any reason why she needs to add him as a friend. I dont suspenct anything, but I'd like to avoid any opportunity that he might have to start up a chat with my wife, reminiscing about their passionate nights together.

What do you think of this? And by the way, I have not friended anyone that I dated.

[H A E]

Tell her it bothers you that she's friends with someone she used to sleep with, and that you haven't done that out of respect for your relationship. I wouldn't ask her to change it, just let her know how you feel.

[Melissa P.]

You are her husband, if you feel it is inappropriate than it probably is. If my husband asked me to remove a friend, I would have no problem complying. Try telling her how you feel uncomfortable about it. Approach it gently and not as though you are accusing her of anything. Good luck!

[Alisha]

I think you should discuss with her what you're feeling and explain why, then come to a conclusion together. This way, you're not demanding anything of her, and she can't say you're trying to control her. Plus, this would give her an opportunity to calm your jealousy or uneasiness or whatever without having to unfriend anyone.

If she has as many friends as you say, then I doubt the facebook friendship means much. People with tons and tons of friends on that site don't talk to very many of them. And if this guy was just a fling, then I really doubt there's anything there for them to talk about anyway.

Be honest and communicate with her, work on these issues together and it will bring you closer.

[Bella]

Tell her it bothers you and get her some flowers and say you want the best for her, to keep her safe, good luck

[Chrissy]

I have no problem with you asking her to do this. It was probably some good sex with a 2 night stand but you are right.

[Zinkee Minkee]

You are flattering her by giving this issue importance - she must be liking it - to get this attention from you . :-)

It depends from person to person - if my husband asked me to un-friend some one - I would do it. but I am asian Indian - so I am brought up differently.

I cannot say how your wife will react to it.

I would suggest to not make it a big deal - past is past ! Both of them have moved on! now she is with you for 20 years and is your wife. He was just 'used' for sex once.

[iyamacog]

If she knows it bothers you, you shouldn't need to ask her. She should do it on her own, out of respect for you......♥♥

[K S]

You are 100% correct. It would make my husband uneasy if I acted as your wife did with that particular gentleman; and he not only has my facebookâ„¢ password, but complete blanket authority to do as he pleases with it - unfriend, post as me, etc etc.

[Universal]

Otherwise, your wife is cheating on you.
Ask her to stop such past things forever.