How many Dates does he Need to know whether or not he wants a relationship with me?

[Elizabeth Kennedy]

I'll try to make a long story short. Met a great guy (or so I thought) via a friend/family member on Facebook. He lives in Colorado. I live in Austin. His family lives here in Austin too. I used to live in Colorado. He loved all my pictures on FB, we wrote long messages for months. He flew out to meet me. We hit it off.

We had 3 days and 2 nights (overnight) dates here, then, as soon as I could (several weeks later), I flew out to him and spent 4 nights with him. Again, we had a great time. I knew he wanted to move the relationship onward to sex, but, I had a feeling (and it turned out to be correct) that he was seeing and possibly sleeping with other people, so, I told him that I was not ready. So, no sex, but, we still had a great time and slept in the same bed together each night and did a lot of other things...

I told him that I would not be comfortable sleeping with someone unless it was exclusive. He tells me that he wants to 'get to know me better' and is bothering me to go visit him again.

I feel that if I go visit him again, the sex is almost inevitable, but, he seems to be completely dodging having a real relationship with me at this point. We talk, text, frequently, but, we can't see eye to eye on this issue.

I know it's long distance, but, I really like him a lot and he seems to be very into me, or, is he just wanting to be "into me And everyone else"? Shouldn't 8 days and nights of dates and months and months of talking be enough time to know if you want a relationship with someone?

By the way, we are both in our late 30's and he's a Dentist.

[louisa]

4 at the most

[Joy]

Run

[Madeline]

Yes! You should just not even acknowledge him because he over here trying to get sex out and is probably from others too. He's being a slutttt; he was prob. Even sleeping with you in bed and how you say you weren't doing anything just to get your trust to let him have sex with you. Your smart.

[Betty M]

8 days and nights and a long distance relationship is not long enough to make a commitment. You two need to spend a lot more time together. You may like him a lot and you aren't getting any younger, but you really can't expect much when you live in different states. It's just not going to work.

[thomas t]

Relationships usually grow out of meeting, dating, becoming friends, and than both wanting to be together as much as possible. Most important one on one exclusive to each other. If u have that by all means make love with the guy cause he has true feelings for u and integrity, if not it will be no more to him but casual sex with a friend, and will go no futher.

[Ellen P]

Come on find someone in your area to date. How many long distance relatioships work out there is no way a man is going to remain monogamous when the woman lives several hundred miles away And has to catch an airplane to see him has he flown out to see you? If not there is your answer about about him wanting a relationship.

[Another Crone]

You met him on the internet and flew out to meet him! That's what players do, dear. In your case, a very shy player and I'm sure he's enjoying it ... but YOUR actions are not the actions of a woman who could claim the moral high ground. You've slept with him repeatedly and played sexually enticing games even if you didn't agree to penetration. It's a strange game you are playing. As if you are a 17 year old virgin who doesn't know any better.

I think, under your circumstances, it is unreasonable to expect a monogamous "relationship" with a man who lives in another state and has only seen you a total of 8 days total. He knows he wants to see more of you. And he likely knows he'd like to have sex with you and romance and fun stuff like that on a weekend every few months but ... I don't think it is realistic to expect a monogamous relationship at this point.

If the two of you are not on the same page at this point... move on. He meets people on the internet. You might try something else.