Was I wrong to break up with my boyfriend for his facebook flirting?

[sissy gal0000]

Im a 19 year old college senior and my ex-bf is 21, so I would say we both are supposed to be matured adults.

We had been together for nine months.

On the first month of our relationship, I found Facebook messages he sent to this girl, telling her that he wants to go out on a date with her, and asking if she still knows he loved her (they went on the same High School). I was very hurt when I saw these messages and I was mad at him and we didn't speak for a week, but, I ended up forgiving him...hoping he'd never do it again as he knew how much what he did had broken my heart.

We made up but I never trusted him after that. So, a month after that, I was on my way to visiting him as we live in different cities (12 hr drive apart), I logged in on his Facebook, and the same girl was asking him why he was calling her. I got really mad and when I got to his place I confronted him, and though I was heart broken yet again, I forgave him.

He never repeated his flirting with this girl after these two times (as far as I know), but he sent her an inbox asking her to add him on Blackberry Messenger...I was so mad at him I told him to delete her, he didn't want to and said it would be rude to ask someone to add you then delete them...I told him I felt disrespected, he told me to delete all the guys asking me out on Facebook first and I did that, it is only then that he agreed to delete her. I dno't know if he really did though.

Just 14 days ago I broke up with him, I told him it is because I don't trust him anymore, he told me he didn't want that and that he knows where he messed up, but I felt like I was doing the right thing for myself. This is my (and his) first break up and I miss him so bad, I want to call him, was I unfair by breaking up with him though he showed signs of having changed from his old ways?

Thank you, sorry for the long text!

[Rabbit]

He isn't going to change. You did the right thing to break up with him.

[Da K]

You should have broken up with him the first time you caught him asking another girl out. This is not even flirting, it's the beginning of cheating. You deserve better than this. And please do yourself a favor and don't ever let any guy treat you this way again. If next time you catch your boyfriend asking another girl out, break up with him and don't forgive him. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

[Michelle]

No you were NOT wrong!! He's clearly a very smart guy. Does what he want's and hides it from you and when you find out he tells you what you want to hear. Makes you look just as bad as him (making you delete guys off facebook). He obviously didn't change from his old days if he did it so many times.
As you said, you did what was best for YOU. Obviously your gonna miss him if its your first break up and you guys were together for 9 months. That's a long time and your just used to having him around and talking to him whenever you wanted. You say you live in different cities so it's probably best that you broke up with him because you don't know what he's up to when your not there. It's gonna be hard for the first while until you get used to not having him around but leave it and it will get easier.

[Uadiale]

You thought your boyfriend loved you, but suddenly he seemed to cool off, become distant and then said he wanted to move on. But ending the relationship is the last thing you want. Even though you feel he has betrayed you and let you down you still love him. You want to get back the man you love and have him desire you again.

After a breakup, you might think making your ex boyfriend desire you again will be a hard job. But, stop and think, if he hadn't desired you to begin with, you never would have had a relationship. So, if you made him desire you then, why can't you do it again? The answer is, you can, but to do it you will need to have the correct mindset.

During your relationships there had to be many small spats. When they happened, you probably turned your back on your boyfriend and refused to speak to you. That is how you have to look at the breakup. The same as if it was a spat and you are going to ignore your ex boyfriend and have no contact with him.

As strange as it seems, to get back the man you love, you have to let him go. Not for good, but for a few weeks at least. Making your ex desire you again after a breakup, will take a little longer than after a spat, but you still handle it the same way. Find other things to occupy your time and get a grip on your emotions. If you keep thinking of this as a spat, it will be much easier to get back the man you love.

An expert tip to make your ex boyfriend desire you again, is to disappear. But, first be seen out with your friends having a great time. Make sure your ex boyfriend hears of you activities and then drop out of sight. Take a mini vacation or a trip to visit relatives and friends. Doing this will keep you away from your ex, but it will make him wonder if he is losing you.

Men fall in love from a distance, so the more distance you put between the two of you, the more he will desire you. Remember how you acted uninterested in him at the start and played hard to get? That made him desire you like crazy at that time and making him think you are fine without him now will arouse that desire again.

When your ex boyfriend wants to move on, let him go and show him you can have a life without him. Then use the same tactics you used to get him at the start and before you know it, he will be desiring you again and you will get back the man you love.