Why do men pretend like they don't know what a materialistic woman looks like?

[Eva]

Men are always playing the victim role when they been "had" by a gold digger or a social climber but yet the pretend "oh I didnt know she just wanted my money, I thought she loved me". This is as bad as a woman pretending like she didnt know they guy she's been dating for 2 years is a "player".

[just me]

I think is more not wanting to believe then really not knowing. Happens in reverse to, men use, and often abuse, women just as much and women will make every excuse in the book for why he is the way he is.

Love is blind, also deaf, dumb, stupid.

[Gaia Terranova]

I think you're fairly right with your insight here - so people are playing the victim, as both men and women can behave badly, or both can be the victim depending on the situation.

But thinking for a moment, I guess it also depends how you want to define behaviours? eg. normal western society is generally in favour of the man paying for the romantic meal, partly from tradition, partly from certain media forms that suggest to women - 'if he's not prepared to pay for a meal, what else is he not prepared to do for you?' mentality. Again, the media can stir things up by suggesting a poor man isn't a good man, and not a successful one, so shouldn't be of interest to an average woman, since he's not deemed 'good enough'. This can unfortunately reinforce social stereotypes, and negatively prevent sensible, gender equal development in an intelligent and reasonable way. Sometimes this creates a vicious circle and reinforcing behaviours between people.

Thinking from the other side, the media suggests that if men are a little too friendly with other women, this can be a bad sign of being a 'player' as you say. Than as a potential positive - eg. he's not a mysogonist, or is a people person, so there are arguably clearer signs to avoid him. Society normally encourages in a couple for the man to be thoughtful and considerate, attentive etc to his partner, for a successful relationship, which I would interpret as not being overly friendly with other women, (even if nothing is going on), to save his partner's feelings etc.

There is also the ever present happy hormones - people do all sorts of stupid things when attracted to another, including explaining away their partner's less than positive behaviours - including any that may deem them unsuitable, or problematic. This is partly because they would be questioning their own judgement (some egos simply don't accept they could be wrong!), whilst others may not be confident enough to 'stand up for themselves' and would make excuses for the partner's actions. An extreme example of this general thinking is with abusive relationships where the victim defends their abusive partner to the shock and disbelief of anyone else.

From past discussions with friends, generally both genders can be equally blind to their new partner's faults - whatever they may be, and materialism is just one example of questionable behaviour, there are many to choose from, and some far worse . . .