Do You Think I Should Go to His Birthday Party? He shows interest in me sometimes, but then ignores me. 10pts?

[Jae]

A month ago I got a random facebook message from a guy I met in college. We exchanged numbers over fb and have been texting on and off ever since. (He even texted me once asking if I wanted to go to dinner with him, but I was too busy unfortunately since I own a small business.) When I see him randomly we’ll hug, and he’ll compliment my clothes and jewelry.

HOWEVER, for the past two weeks he’s been texting me first and when I’d respond he wouldn’t answer me. Then he’d text me many days later apologizing and claiming he was “feeling antisocial/tired/working, etc. But once when I checked his twitter, I saw that he had made plans to chat with a girl online after work. He texted me early the next morning apologizing about how he was SO tired after work, and went to bed right away, which wasn’t true.

He ignored my last text to him for 7 days (when he texted *me* first) BUT THEN, he texted me on Christmas morning at 8:00am apologizing for his late replies, claiming it was because of work/feeling anti-social. He wished me a merry Christmas, and I texted him back hours later and wished him a good one as well. Yesterday he texted me saying that we "had to discuss DJango. We HAVE to." Since both saw it on Christmas (separately). I didn’t reply. TODAY he made a "Birthday Event" on Facebook, and invited me. I haven't responded to it yet and I'm really considering not going due to what's been going on between us for the past month, but also because I don't have any means of getting there. (We live in different cities and by bus it would take me +2 hours.) What do you think I should do? And would you go to his party??

[Arielle]

If it were me, I wouldn't go.

You're ignoring the warning signs. He lied to you, and told you he went to bed when he was actually talking to some other girl. If that isn't a major red flag, I don't know what is. He is making excuses to you for not talking while talking to other girls. He sounds like a player.

Also, when someone is genuinely interested, they show it consistently. Not sometimes interested, then ignores you, and switches between the two. While he ignores you, he is off chatting up some other girl. Big red flag for disloyalty and dishonesty. He sounds like the kind to be in it for the chase - at the start interest was high because everything was new and exciting, with all the texting. Then after awhile he won't reply when you text him back. It's like, when he knows he's got your attention, he gets bored, then makes excuses about it later while chasing another girl. Not exactly the signs of a committed guy.

I wouldn't go there, it is just asking for trouble. I think you should move on before you get in too deep and get hurt. It's for the best. I think if you went to the party, you'd be getting your hopes up to get with him, that something may happen and that's not a good idea given the type of guy he is. You can find a guy who is genuinely into you and you only - he is just not this guy. Good luck, take care of yourself and your heart ok, chick.