8 months since we broke up and I still cry everyday and think about him constantly?

[sillygoldfish380]

So my ex and I dated for three years. We broke up last May. He was my first kiss first everything so I became attached easily. After the breakup he had NC with me for a few months. Then would randomly contact me messing with my head with texts like "oh you're tweeting at other guys?" Then "send me a picture of you and your body, show me what I'm missing" then be like "f you, you're disgusting" (randomly) then "I miss thinking about you, talking to you" .... Then I would be like "are you ever going to give me a chance" and he would say "not now" then ignore me for days.

We got into a fight because of guys on my social networking (even though hes blocked in everything) but he was looking for a fight and got one. Hes a hyprocrite. I couldnt do certain things but when he did it, it was okay. So he was arguing saying "you're an ugly f. You're a fat c$#&. Etc. Im 5'8 and 130 lbs. and since our break up I've lost a lot of weight. He says he has sex with so many girls. Recently everybody has been telling me I look so skinny. And the truth is its because I take my adderall late in the day so I'm not hungry and don't eat at all throughout the day. I literally will walk to my fridge think of him calling me a fat f, and walk away. It's been 8 months and I still cry about him every single day. How can he do these things then text me weeks later acting like nothing happened. He doesn't realize how much it effects me. A part of me wants to just be so skinny for him that he will have nothing to put me down with and maybe he would love me again. I don't know why I still love him. I think it's because I know he has issues and is crazy ad that's why I wanna be with him to help him, almost. He is very manipulative and controlling. Yet I love him with my whole heart and still can't even move on or date anyone or hang out with a guy without comparing them to my ex. It's horrible and I hate it. And after everything he's done to me, I hate that I would STILL take him back

[Midnightbeggar869]

You need to get over him on your own or seek a little counseling..