what should i do? I thought i was over him. But i am not.?

[Yvonne]

We have been together for 2 going to 3 years. Last month, he sort of ended. His aunt passed away and he didn't reply to my message for 3 days i was terribly worried. A simple reply like "Okay" will make me feel better but he didn't. And i admit i sent him messages saying "if you need time alone, i will leave you forever" as i was really angry. I am those kind of people who say things in a fit of anger.

Then, I realised what i have done was terribly wrong. So, i went to his house earlier in the morning to apologize. I tried to apologize very sincerely and i cried. He didn't seem to be moved at all. He kept on say he is happy alone and that he don't love anyone else anymore... I was devasted. He mentioned he don't love me anymore...

So, we went to school together that day and it was awkward in the beginning but things felt much better. He started to talk to me and it seems fine. He stop avoiding me. But things bounced back to the same the next day.

As the week goes by, i miss him terribly, he will skip sch.( we are classmates)
later that week, i lost my purse i felt scared and helpless as it is not the money which concerns me. There is something very important inside which belongs to my mom and i know if i lost it she will literally kill me.

I searched almost the whole school and i was about to cry. I knew i needed comfort and he was the first person who came into my mind. so i called and his tone wasnt nice. I knew i had to put down as it hurts... Luckily, i found it and everything was intact. I felt so sad that he didn't even sms or called to ask me whats wrong. i felt angry.

But i truly love him and i realised, I only lost my purse and i am already so sad, what about him? He lost his aunt. This makes me realise more that i should really do something about it. I really dont wish to lose him.

I tried talking to him but he would always ignore. I knew i have to back off and give him some time. I did. for 2 days but the urge to talk to him and sms was so strong. I whatsapp him and asked if i leave him alone will he patch back with me.

His answer was a NO. I knew he really hates me and wants me to get the f*** out of his life and so i did. It is not because i dont love or care about him anymore. Instead it because i do. SO MUCH.

It kills me to leave him. He did his part too. He blocked me on twitter, instagram, facebook, whatsapp....

it really kills me so hard. I love him so much and i told him i was willing to change before all of this happened.

Then, the next day when we officially break up. He tweeted. BREAKUP BITCHES! #freedom. and the later tweets were " It has been years since i have been this happy" his tweets were all about single life.

Oh, the last thing he said to me was," You will be happier in the future" which i am not.
We went for NC for about a month now... yes we still see each other in school.

He was very mean to me.he used vulgar language on me twice. even my friends could tell he is being very rude to me. I cried because of him twice in school.

Despite being so mean to me, i still love him alot. I wish to talk to him.but i kept holding myself back.

Well, he will be going for sailing during april for 6 months and I know i will really miss him. I am already missing him like crazy right now. I cry almost everyday for the past one month.
I am so worried about his safety when he go sailing. I am so worried..

All i am asking is, should i tell him i still love him and that i don't wish we could get back together or anything, i just wish to talk to him again and be friends. Hanging out once again.

Guys, i do think that he left me is because of this sailing thing. as he want to be a chief engineer and it will about 9 years or so for him as he has to go for national service... Even though he said he wont love anybody else. But i realise he seem to like a girl now. He once tweeted about love and crush things on twitter and he will always be smiling when there is a message on his phone.

I really dont believe he don't love me anymore as i will always catch me taking a glimpse at me. And he will purposely laugh out loud when i am beside him. Most importantly, when he sees i wore the necklace he bought for me. I can sense that he is really very happy.

So what should i do?

He is really a very special person to me.
Oh yes, can you guys explain to me why he is being so mean to me. He likes to see me in pain(emotionally). Like, when i am sitting alone in the class he will purposely talk and laugh loudly. He is always the one who will sit with in class. now that he is gone, i sit alone mostly.

When my teacher make nasty comments on me he will smile. Oh, and once, when myself and i left earlier after our project (he was in it too). He tweeted about how happy he is being single. I dont know if he wrote that to make himself feel better or what as after we left, he was all alone. I can sense my group dislike him too. So, yea.

Was he trying to put on a fake smile and happiness? TO try and provoke me and make me feel horrible. I read about some similar cases online and it all concluded that he is trying to cover up his sadness....

So does this means he still likes me or what?
me friend and i.
not myself and i.

[N. A.]

You did nothing wrong here. I had a similar situation with a guy when his family member passed away. There's no reason why he couldn't just tell you he was okay and ask for some time alone. That's what I tell people when I'm sad about anything.

The things he said about being "finally free" could be his emotions talking from being sad about the death of his aunt, but that was still cold, considering you apologized for what you did.

I can tell you right now that he knows you still love him. He's the one who should be feeling bad about his actions and he should come to you.

For now, take this time away from him as a break to make sure you still love him or not. It hasn't been long enough to really figure things out. Keep your mind on other things. Try not to focus on him. In time, if he's ready to come to you, he will. For the time being, focus on you because you didn't do anything wrong.

EDIT:
About what else you said, about him being nasty towards you in class, don't put up with that bullsh*t. I can see where he might still be grieving and feeling crappy about what happened to his aunt, but there's no reason for him to continue to hurt you the way he is. Like I said, YOU already made a move to apologize to him. He is being a jerk and taking everything out on you. He's the one who needs to apologize now.

Honey, you need to get him out of your head for the time being. Get a part-time job, get a hobby, do yoga, hang out with your friends more. Do whatever it takes to have a breather from this guy. I know he was your world for a very long time, but sometimes life will throw things at you to give you signs that it's time to take a moment to think about things.

You are in the clear. HE is the one who needs to come to you when he's over his anger and sadness. For now, make your life about you and be positive about you. Sooner or later he's going to realize what a jerk he's been and how it isn't right to take anything out on an innocent girl who was just trying to be there for him. And if he doesn't, you'll know it wasn't meant to be. And if it is, he will realize his mistake. But for now, you need to take a break from him and be with your friends and put your mind elsewhere.