Do you think I am a Tomboy ?

[Katherine]

(I am a 14 year old girl) Well I used to mainly wear mens t shirts because I didn't like the sleeves on girl's t shirts, but I wore girls jeans and capris or knee length shorts with sneakers or flips flops. I recently started wearing more girly tops. I hang out with girls mainly because I get really nervous and shy around guys. I don't wear jewelry or makeup besides nail polish, My ears aren't pierced. My hair is wavy and medium length though i don't do much with it and it's a little frizzy. I have social anxiety and low self esteem. I like anime, video games, stuff like star wars and drawing. I guess I'm kind of a geek. But I recently found out that all of my good friends that like the same stuff as me are lesbians. Now I'm even more self conscious and try to seem more girly so people do not think I am lesbian. I like guys, though I am not that boy crazy like most girls at my school. I only wear dresses or skirts on special occasions and when I do I wear shorts underneath. I know I shouldn't care what people think but I do very much and I am getting really bothered by this and haven't been acting like myself as much because I think I might have HOCD and fear that I might actually be Bisexual but I really don't know. Advice please?

[Jeremy]

not really... my sister started off as a tomboy and she's now a full fledged normal chick.

you dont have to be boy crazy. most people arent. just those slutty ones :]

not all girls have their ears pierced. and nothings wrong with bisexual, even tho you ARE NOT one. :]

[Mrlovelygame]

Not, it is time of the nerds. Nerd power, Shoen jump ruels

[Sarah]

From what you said yes I can see you being a Tomboy. But not a full fledged one. I highly doubt that your lesbian or bi. Because from what you said it sounds like you really have no feelings for girls, just boys. Being a tomboy does not mean that your gay or anything like that. It's just a girl who dresses more like a guy because she prefers the clothes or what ever. But it doesn't mean they are gay. But the older you get, the more likely people are to guess that you are gay, just looking at you. If they never stopped and talked they wouldn't know, but from just looking you can "look" gay, but not really be gay. Really don't worry about what other people think about you, do what you want to do, dress how you want to dress, act how you want to act. No one should be allowed to stop you. Just be you!

[rabidtotoro]

I think that you have the key to what you are asking.
Be yourself.
I think the phrase "Tomboy" and our expectations on how people act according to their genders is old outdated and stupid.
One thing you should admit to yourself is you are indeed a nerd. Love it.

Also don't feel the need to define and pin down your sexuality.
I'm gonna say you are only 14 but don't take in a negative way - take it in a "you have your whole life to find out what being you is. you don't need to peg it down right now."
People spend their whole lives asking "who am I'? and you know finding out slowly is the right way to do it.
Some people make all sorts of decisions and then regret them.
Some people don't even once ask "who am i ?" and they are also making a big mistake.

It's the social anxiety that makes you feel confused a lot. if people are your friends then, well, they are your friends and it doesn't matter who they are sexually. it's money that's important. (I'm joking.)
Live your life the way you feel comfortable or at least find out what makes you comfortable.
If your friends are your friends then they won't pressure you with stuff.
If anyone tries to change you make sure you feel okay with the changes.
If they are "be more comfortable in the long run but things will make you feel better later changes" try and go along with them but don't let you ever stop being you.
- and if they aren't your friends - I know it's difficult but, well who cares what they think?

[punyfeet928]

What is wrong with being a Tomboy?

When I was 14 and even now I wear boys clothes. I just went into town wearing a baggy Adidas jumpsuit and a snap back cap walking my dogs. Not because I am gay, but because it was comfortable. People have never accused me of being a lesbian even though I do like girls (I'm bi). With you I do not think that it is your clothes that make people think you are a lesbian. People may think you are a lesbian because, as you said yourself, you hang out with lesbians and do not feel comfortable around guys.