My daughter is gothic? Please help. Pictures included.?

[Rubyfjord]

No!

This is how Gothic or Grufties at least in Europe look like:

http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/vi...CoV1P5HLJI

http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/vi...CoV1P5HLJI

http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/vi...CoV1P5HLJI

http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/vi...CoV1P5HLJI

http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/vi...CoV1P5HLJI

This is Gothic Rock with pictures of Goths
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pla...xrDk#at=32

The Goth Movement started in England.

[Severin]

I'm assuming that you're trolling. But, there's the off-chance that you're not, so here we go...

1. Your daughter hasn't chosen atheism because of the whole Gothic thing, more than likely. If she did, then she's putting the wrong twos and twos together. I'm sorry to hear about that, though. I'm a Christian, and I did go through an atheistic/skeptic phase, but after doing a lot of research and apologetic study, I eventually got past it. I'm afraid that there isn't anything that you should do or anything that would actually help in that situation other than to leave her be. If you try to force God on her, it's just going to make her all-the-more resistant toward the whole thing. If she's going to return to the path, she's going to have to do it on her own.

2. There's nothing wrong with her watching Horror movies or documentaries about Occult (Occult does *not* equate "evil", by the way) knowledge or similar subjects. She's educating herself and getting information about different cultures and mediums of art. She's expanding her mind, so to speak.

3. Last time I checked, cats are not demons, and his being black doesn't have anything to do with it. He's a cat with black fur, so what? She probably talks to him because she's lonely, which is very understandable. Some people are just naturally inclined to talk to animals, it's a manner of habit.

4. Inverted crosses are actually called "Saint Peter's Cross", because of the story of the apostle Peter being crucified upside-down as a sign of reverence toward Christ. I'm betting she didn't know that when she got the tattoo, though. That's one that she's probably going to regret later on, poor kid.

It sounds like she's still going through her baby-bat phase, possibly. She has some rough edges that she needs to sand off (but then again, I suppose we all do), but she seems like a decent kid overall. And yes, of course she's probably going to be a little less-than-civil if you approach her with a negative attitude about her way of expressing herself. That sort of thing really hits a nerve.

Also, about the cheerleader thing... I really don't get why people want that for their kids. Yes, it may look all nice and pretty on the surface, but cheerleaders tend to be troubled kids due to the pressures that their social status puts on them. When they're told that they're supposed to be pretty and perky all the time, it weighs on them, and then of course they have the other pretty preps that they're comparing themselves to. Cheerleaders are far more likely than Goths to experiment with sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. I'm not saying that this applies to *all* cheerleaders, mind you, and I'm not saying that every Goth out there is a perfect, book-reading angel, I'm just saying that what I've stated is usually the case.

Here's some videos that I think you should watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x3ofPNnAmk -- A video of a Goth named Darleen, asking her mother about her opinion on the subculture.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lBuyTsmFs0 -- Joji, a Goth, talks to parents about how being a Goth is *not* a bad thing, and can actually be quite beneficial for your child.

My advice would be to give her some breathing room. My parents allowed me to express my Gothic tastes (after I had a discussion with them about it. They're Christians too, by the way), and my mother would even pick up Gothy-looking things at thrift stores if she ever came across something. Their positive attitude made me more open toward them, and our relationship was all the better for it.

I'm a Goth, and so far I've turned out fine. I'm a staff-intern in an evangelical ministry for children, I graduated high school when I was sixteen, and, not to brag, but I've read more classic literature than a lot of people twice my age. Goths can be, and often are, good kids; and they grow up to be perfectly well-rounded adults with careers and stable relationships, just like anyone else. They may dress differently, they may listen to different music, and they may read books and watch movies that have a hint of macabre, but there's nothing wrong with that. God is the God of night as much as He is the God of day, He created both.

If you really want to shake your world up a bit, head over the christiangoth.com. I know that you said your daughter is an atheist, but I'm just wanting to show you that there *is* such thing as a Christian Goth, and the two don't clash.

Honestly, I hope that this question isn't legit, and the more I read it, the less I believe it. But, still, there's the small chance that it *is* legit. If so, consider what I've said. Give your daughter some space, and some love.

[military supporter]

You are a religious nut-job trying to force your insane religious beliefs on her. She has a right to be her own person. As long as she is not drinking, using drugs,and hurting herself or others, leave her alone.

[Ciudad Immortal]

Did you ever stop and think that maybe you pushed her away? Maybe she does not want to be Christian anymore because she feels that you not only do not support her and her fashion choices but that you kind of force it on her. Saying she dresses like a “freak” will not help it either, only further push her away. I am going to tell you what happened to me. The same exact situation happened. I was always a goth kid growing up (and never grew out of it). My father was a Christian much like you with “concern for his daughter”. He called me a “witch” and sometimes said I invited evil into our home. He pushed me away by doing that and it almost completely caused me to reject the Christian faith. I saw him as a hypocrite. I did not really become Christian again until I was an adult. I am still Goth at the age of 24 and I married a gothic man too (Halloween 2011). It is not always “just a phase” as some people like to call it, so do not take that advice for your own relief, many parents were VERY disappointed. There is such thing as “Christian Goths” and we are a growing community. You are pushing your daughter away. Trying to change her will ruin your relationship with her. The cat is not the devil, it is just a cat that she loves. I talk to all my cats and guess what? THEY ARE NOT THE DEVIL. If you keep casting stones at her for what she wears and how she acts, you are only going to push her away not only from yourself but from Christianity. Many Christian’s parents that reject their children have this happen to them. I know because I am one of those kids that grew up like that. I do not really get along with my father and I AM STILL PISSED AT HIM. I am not saying you should go Goth or accept everything she does. But maybe you should get to know her and the things she likes. If you establish trust and acceptance in her then and only then can you reach her. Find out why she is like this. Parents are quick to judges their children and their friends that influence them but they ignore the fact that they may actually be at fault for their own child. So let me get this straight? You hate her boyfriend because of his piercings? DO YOU UNDERSTAND JESUS DIED FOR HIM TOO and that He loves him as well?

By the way if you want to get technical, the Gothic look/art/culture was actually started by Christians, hence Gothic Cathedrals.

[Mrlovelygame]

bYou fucking wasted my time. yOU ARE A SPAMER. Be gone internet pedo in spain!

[a friend]

you just have to let her go through this. you cant just keep forcing her to believe in a religion that is probably why she is doing this in the first place and it doesn't mean she is posed or is the devil she is just expressing herself. let her be unless she starts doing really bad things (drugs, sex alcohol, etc). but most importantly don't pressure her you'll only push her farther away.

[.]

her:
she has the 'cheerleader face' but it's just a phase that most girls go through, so hopefully, for you, she will suddenly stop liking those dark, gothic stuff/scenery.
i could not believe that she was a natural blonde!!!

boyfriend:
he looks like a nice, respectful man (not like a goth at all!!) but the piercings put me off way too much, i would not approach him, (sorry if i offended him )

[Undead Skinhead]

I like metal.

[sistahepxoxo]

i'm not going to judge you. And ppl who say this is a phase the girl is 16 and this had been going on for about 3 years, and it seems like she will continue like this. i don't think you can really stop her. but heyy don't call her a freak either. i understand you're desperate right now, but try and remain calm. you can't force her to be christian, know that God wants true followers. what would be the point in her going to church, if in her heart she was an atheist, then she would just be trying to please you and not God. she seems sweet. And in the future, no matter what, don't post pictures of your daughter or her boyfriend online. And i don't know what to do in this case but have you considered homeschooling? And just talk to her yah know, be there for her and don't shun her either. And be introspective, has anything in her life happened that might've made her this way? what kind of influences does she have, are they negative, am i a good mother, if not how can i improve so i can do my best for her? Lastly, not every girl wants to be a cheerleader, or is the same. So don't expect that.