How do I tell my boyfriend I saw his messages on facebook and I dont want him to talk to his ex anymore?

[Alan]

Hey, my boyfriend is still pretty close to his ex and me and her do not really get along. Plus she left him after 4/5 years and left him heartbroken and even though I know he loves me and he wouldnt cheat on me with any other girl Im not sure about this one. We have been living together since june now and everything is greta apart from his relationship with her. I told him it bothers me and asked him if he could stop. Happends that he complained a lot about it but it seemed to have stoped, but recently I came home for Christmas and he went to his home, same city where she lives. I was worried about how his atitude would be about this so I did something bad and went to his facebook to check if they were talking, they were and the problema was I found out way more than I was expecting. It seems that they talk a lot and he had with some conversations he had with me, same thing at the same time when I thought this were serious talks. I found out a lot more, for exemple he lied to me about some things related to her(not big things so I dont understand why he lied) and two things Ive noticed that worried me the most its always him starting the conversation and I saw one fight they had where he sounded very hurt and still attatched to her.

I am worried that even without knowing he still has some feelings for her. When I asked him to end this conversations he was very upset saying I have no write to tell him who he can or cant talk with, what is fair enough. The problema is our relationship is really serious and he says he loves me and he would do anything for me, but the truth is Ive been changing my life so we can be together and the ex situation really hurts me, so I think would be fair for him to stop it with everything I am doing for him. There is a problema though I saw all this because I saw his fb messages without him to know so Im not suppose to know they still talk and if I tell him I went to his facebook it might end everything because we always said we trust each other and never did anything like this and he sees it as something unforgivable. Any ideas how can I bring this up and help me sort this situation, please? I wanna save my relationship but at the same this needs to end, just makes me feel sad and hurts.

I apprecheat any help, please. Thank you. xx

[melissa]

your the girl , tell him to top talking to her , JUST Say You dont give a fuccck and you do not want him talking to her . good luck huuuuuuuun <3

[JennyCide]

I'm not sure how you could bring up reading is messages (maybe say he left his page up?), but I do think I have something that can help you.

A girl kept "liking" everything my boyfriend posted on Facebook, and left several flirty comments. Naturally, this made me uncomfortable. Here's what I told my boyfriend:

"Hey, I noticed that [insert girl's name] keeps flirting with you on Facebook, and that makes me uncomfortable. I trust you, but this isn't a trust thing, it's a respect thing - I feel disrespected by her doing this all the time, and where everyone can see."

If you could tell your boyfriend something similar (maybe, "I feel disrespected when you secretly talk to your ex" - the "I feel" part is important), that would really help. Just say it in a very not-confrontational way, or even text it to him, if saying it would freak you out.

Best of luck! I know how horrible it feels, and how paranoid it must make you.