What should i do about this guy? Does he have feelings or was he just being a really good friend?

[Fearlessscarf192]

I started seeing this guy. We were friends with benefits for 6 months and i started getting feelings for him. When i let him know he said that he didn't want to be in relationship, he didn't really have trust for me because the first time we met, we slept together. I wanted a relationship and if not then we should stop seeing each other. He still didn't change his mind. I was mad for awhile and it made me cry. After a while i thought that it would be better to have him in my life then nothing at all so i continued to be friends with benefits with him. After about 2 months I think that he started getting feelings for me.. We were texting and he suggested that we could give it try to be in a relationship. Honestly that was the best day of my life. I felt like my heart that was torn in a million pieces was brand new again. So we were in a relationship and then this girl that's in love with him (a girl before he started seeing me) she was jealous that we were together, she made up rumors. She told him that I cheated on him and he broke up with me. He realized that she was lying and he came back to me. After that we were off and on for a while. And even though i didn't do anything wrong, it seemed like there was no trust left. In October he told me he missed me, he really wanted to be with me. He liked how i wasn't like a "party girl" anymore. He said "Don't wonder why i'm running after you now." Everything was great until I saw his messages on Facebook. he was talking to another girl, he was even planning on meeting her. I got so sad and angry. I told him that I couldn't do it anymore, he was hurting me too bad. He didn't seem to care that much and he said that It might be better that way so that i could be happy with a better guy. I was depressed for so long i cried almost everyday and i still cry about it to this day. After 2 months of not talking i went to his place to pick up the things that i left, i wanted to talk to him about us again, but he was negative about it he said that we tried, it didn't work, it wouldn't work again. I felt sad and surprised at the same time because i wasn't expecting that. in the past no matter what, it was always him that would come back to me. We brought up the subject about being friends with benefits again, I figured that it could work since in the past we were friends with benefits and he told me he didn't want a relationship with me, but in the end he had feelings and we still ended up together so i figured that the same thing might happen again if we started the friends with benefits relationship. After we started the friends with benefits relationship again, everything was great. He was texting me often, we even spent Christmas together, he walked many times outside in the -30 freezing cold weather just to see me, we were taking pictures, he even changed his profile picture on Facebook to a picture of me and him together. We were closer than ever. I felt like he was starting to really like me again. When he would ask me to hangout on certain days where i couldn't he would give me a (sad face). He slept over at my place and we were laying in my bed, he took my hand and he held it for a good 5 minutes, i wasn't sure what he was trying to do or say but i felt so happy. About 2 weeks ago i brought up the topic about being together again and he told me that it wouldn't work and it seemed like he just didn't want to talk about it. I suggested that we completely start over like nothing happened, since he had a hard time trusting me cause of the way we first met. He still said it wouldn't work. I really don't understand - 2 weeks ago it seemed like he was "leading me on" but he wants NOTHING to do with a relationship? We haven't talked for a few days and basically i'm showing him that i'm cutting him out of my life but it just seems like he doesn't care AT ALL. He WANTS me to find a new guy. Since i WON'T give up, do you think that i should try to be really CLOSE friends with him without the benefits and wait to see what happens? Or should I stay away and see if he comes back to me? I feel like if i stay away he wont really think of me and nothing will change, but if i stay friends with him and try to become very close i feel like he MIGHT get feelings again, especially if we don't sleep together anymore, i think that i would be more "tempting" to him.

& Do you think that he still has feelings for me but he's convincing himself that he "can't" or do you think he really has absolutely no feelings at all? (2 weeks before I cut things off with him he told me how badly he wanted to be with me but now he tells me he feels nothing for me?) Do you think the girl told him more lies about me and it made him "hate" / not want me?

[Emma]

Wow okay first - you over think things Wayyyy too much. Second- you have to stop letting guys control you life.!
I had a bestfriend once that cried everytime she broke up with someone , whether she did it or he did it- it made no sense to me. Get over it, move on, they'll be other guys! Don't ever let someone have that much control that you 'cry every day'.

This guy seems like a 'FWB' guy not a relationship guy. He calls you back when he gets turned on, and you guys fool around. He clearly doesn't trust you, since he let this other girl put crap in his head, he doesn't have feeling for you (from what I understand of the story anyway).
He's no good, and you need to get over it and move on, I get its hard sometimes -specially when you fall in love, it takes awhile but it gets easier.

My adivice: Do 1 of 2 things, either Get over it and move on or talk to him. And I mean directly talk to him, not over facebook or text or through another friend - talk to him in person and ask him about his feelings. Then you'll finally know and have closure.