Trying to leave an abusive relationship?

[king]

We dated for four years and he was a nightmare. He abused me in every form possible from emotional, to verbal, and physically hitting me or shoving my down stairs, to even kicking me while I was on the floor. Our relationship was always his way. I wasn't allowed to leave the house, wear any light color clothing, or any makeup and I wasn't allowed to have a Facebook or any social media. In the duration of our relationship I've only met two of his friends in the beginning of when we began dating. I lost so much hair and weight that now I'm showing signs of balding and weigh 84 pounds. I broke up with him a month ago because I couldn't deal with his abuse. While I lost all my friends due to him, he went out and partied all night. He lied about where he was and what he was doing. He met up with ex girlfriends and argued with me over the most ridiculous things. I can't stand him and I can't help but hope that he will be miserable in his life.

I know there are SO many people out there much better then him. He thinks he is above everyone for reasons I have yet to find out. I know I'm not going back to him though being with someone for four years is a long time. I know being without him is for the best but I still need help getting over him.

Do you have advice on coping with a break up or stories of your abuser and your success story? I'd love to hear some motivation right now
I'm 20 and he's 21 btw

[Legandivori]

google

Battered wife syndrome

read also about Hedda Nussbaum

[fox1411]

Good for you for leaving the relationship now the hard part will be staying out of it and moving on. Since you realize your position within the relationship and all of the wrongdoings that have happened to you it shows you are strong. Stay strong and use your strength to move on with your life. Since you're 20 you have so long and so many people to have relationships with. My advice is to surround yourself with things that you like. Go out and meet some new friends! Call some old friends and apologize say you want to reconnect and you are out of your abusive relationship. As soon as you start making more connections with people it will help you. You could even talk online with people in chat rooms just to vent and feel a sense of appreciation.
I believe you! Stay strong! You have a bright future filled with new relationships that are healthy and much needed. Good luck

[Mark Pichler]

The national abuse hotline: http://www.thehotline.org/ It is manned 24/7!!!!

And others: http://www.metacrawler.com/info.metac.ps...used+women

[Rachel]

Stayed with my man for 10 years because he was never abusive in our 5 year dating relationship only for the 10 years I was married to him. It continued to escalate to the point of nearly taking my life. Finally realized I needed to leave. I was at rock bottom emotionally. Luckily I made new friends through my church who continued to encourage me. I went to therapy, took life skills classes, went back to school and fought for custody of my kids over the last 10 years. Two years ago I married a man who was my friend for 5 years. He is amazing. He is my equal. He makes me feel capable and good enough to be with him even though I think he is far better than I deserve. Wish I would have left earlier.

[Shantrece]

I have not been with an abuser, but I do have general knowledge of what's wrong and what's right. Moving on is going to start with you. You have to get to know yourself all over again. Start back loving you. Realize that you are beautiful and can't no man take that away from you. Build a relationship with God (if you are religious). Do the things that make you happy. You have to know that this man has mental issues, and felt he had to bring you down just to make himself happy. There is nothing normal or sane in this type of thinking. Remember you weren't the problem or to blame for his behavior, as he had these tendencies before you. You have to be strong, and never ever let a person/man tell you what you are. You know what you are capable of, and you should not settle for someone who does not. You have to work through your emotions, maybe even go to counseling if you can afford it. Work on your health, emotions, and spiritual self, so that you can be whole again. Don't ever go back to this man again, and look out for the signs of abusers before starting any new relationships with another. You have to fix the pain and hurt so that you do not fall prey to it again.

[Sue C]

I too lived with EVERY type of abuse, verbal, mental, emotional, physical to getting Restraining Orders. I could no longer take it, packed up my things & left. An abuser is a person filled with anger, a controller, has low self esteem. Their ONLY hope is to see a Professional who deals in anger management. FREE yourself from him with NO contact what so ever. IF you got a Restraining Order, he would not be allowed to contact you in ANY way. The Police would handle it ALL for you. Police & Judges are very against Domestic Violence. You would have their protection. Put the past in the past & go forward with your life. There IS a special someone out there just for you. You haven't met him yet, but when you least expect it you will. You'll then know why he was not meant to be. Honey, do know the best is yet to come & it will. I've now been with someone for 22 1/2 yrs. Your life too WILL change, that I can promise you...best to you, honey...

[Girish Mehta]

My dear friend,do not think but act.Break up with a lightening speed.Then think about next step.Sooner the better.

[shallowfriction547]

Thee are so many places you can turn to, ad please don't let places that watch women return to abusers get you too down...

W.E.A.V.E. (Women Escaping A Violent Environment) is a good start!!! There are so many to choose from, just use it as a hand UP not a hand out